I am gonna have another grandbaby in july or aug.

[TigerLilly]

Quote:
I agree with Katy. I also agree that YOU should not feel like a bad mother, even though all of us probably would as well if we were in your shoes. Human nature. You can sit back & say "I shoulda said/done [whatever]" but it boils down to the fact that your daughter made the decision to have unprotected sex. Not what any of us would wish for our children, but it happens. She just has to grow up a little faster now because of her decision.
With lots of love, help & forgiveness, you will all make it through this.
Enjoy your grandbaby!

 

[chixie]

what I should have done was lock her in her room until she was 18 like her daddy wanted to do.. jk

 

[TigerLilly]

nah...might be considered abuse...shoulda got a chastity belt!

If you're able to smile, you're doing fine.

 

[Ema]

I got pregnant when I was 17 too, my dad was devastated, and the one thing I wanted more than anything was for him to tell me everything would be ok, I was so scared and seeing him in that mood made me more scared of what was to come. the first 12 years of my life I grew up with my grandmother in spain, and then came to live with my dad. I never had my mom to talk to me about anything and dad was never the kind to go into those topics.

right now you are shocked my this, she is scared and your Dh might feel let down (its how my dad felt). Right now your daughter needs needs a hug, not only from you but her dad too, especially her dad, to tell her everything will be fine (I am sure you guys have already done this though)

Its hard to see now but in a months time or two even you will begin to see the positive. things will get better and trust me things will be alright.

BUT, while she is pregnant this is the time for you to help her with her transition, which is huge by the way, she will lose some friends, gain others, and her point of views are going to change dramatically, on top of still being a teen her hormones will be worse off than ever.

Having gone through this myself at her exact age I will tell you it was not easy at all for me, I was so depressed, and felt so lonely all the time, but what your daughter has is something I didn't the love and support of both her parents, I wish I had had that it would have made things so much easier. I wish my dad had signed me up for family classes while I was pregnant something to prepare me for life after birth, but instead I wanted to go out with my friends all the time and do all the normal stuff I used to do before being pregnant, and I had a hard time accepting responsibility.

However it wasn't long before I realized my son was the most important person in my life and I left all that stuff behind, I am only telling you this so you can maybe get her those classes or support she might need on top of the support you are giving her. Having to go over a specific topic over and over is not a bad thing, though she might feel annoyed by it at first int he long run she will thank you. Do make sure she somehow finishes school, very important or she will be struggling for years to come, trust me on this!!

Also I know teen pregnancy is nothing to boast about, and others may look at it in a shameful way, but what has happened is now inevitable, so get your daughter excited about the life growing inside her and take her to buy little things here and there an get her planning for the baby's arrival, pregnancy calendars, what to expect when you are expecting books and baby's first year etc...WHY you ask?? to ease her fears which she might not tell you she has, I never told anyone, but I was petrified!!!! To allow her to feel happy without shame, so in the end she is a good mother and sees her child in a caring and nurturing way.

Remember, everything will be fine, lots of hugs to you all,

with all this said, after having my son at 17, eight years passed before I was able to get into a serious relationship and actually want to have another baby (with my Dh). I know have a 7yr old DD and I too plan on having every talk there is possibly to have with her when she gets to her teens. And I tell my Dh every day, that I have a strong sense that my Dd will come to me at 16/17 and deliver this very news to me, and I told him, no matter what we will be there for her every step of the way and that if he even blinks in dissapointment towards her I will

him....I guess my dads reaction, while understandable has really stuck with me, it hurts me the most to see that in him and knowing I had let him down!! That if this was to happen to my DD I wouldn't want her to feel the pain I felt that very moment!!

 

[Judy]

Quote:
X2; well said.

Just be prepared to ensure, legally, that the father is financially supportive.

 

[chixie]

Thank you Ema that really helps me alot... I plan to be there for her for what ever she needs and she will finish school and get an education. I want her to one day be able to support herself and the baby

 

[Ema]

Quote:

and she will be thankful for the rest of her life!!! I am glad I could help in some small way.

 

[babylady4]

Do not count out her future either (education or whatever). Look at this as a slight detour or postponement of what she would have been doing. I was 21 when I had my first and put off finishing my education for 10 years after having my second. When baby #4 was 1 I registered for classes and got that elusive degree. It can be done! She will be just fine; and I agree with the others, this is her life and her baby. She is the one responsible NOT YOU! You are in no way a bad mother!

Rancher, birth control is not foolproof and accidents can happen (think of all the 'accident' babies for married couples).

 

[purr]

Congratulations!

There I said it.You didn't do anything wrong at 17 she new what she was doing.It's done and I believe every baby is a blessing. It won't be easy but don't let her put the burden on you. I had my DD at 19 and DH and I were not exactly mature , but we made it through and now 30 years later I have 3 grandbabies.
Please hug her and tell her its not the end of the world because my mom wouldn't but my mother in law did.And it was sorely needed.

 

[debilorrah]

No child is ever a mistake. I know you are concerned about her future, but I am sure she will figure it out. She isn't the first young mother taken by surprise!!!