I am gonna have another grandbaby in july or aug.

[HeatherLynn]

It will all be ok Chixie, your are so not a bad mom. A bad mom would never worry over her children as much as you do. You now will just have one more person to worry over and love. I am sure if she is determined to keep this baby and take care of it and with your support she will be fine. Its also not impossible for her to get financial help. Actually with a baby she probably can get free schooling and still make a life for herself.

Every child is a blessing and obviously this child was supposed to be part of her future. I hope with time you can wipe away the tears and begin to make plans to enjoy another grandbaby.

 

[ams3651]

Quote:
I am a 38 year old woman with 2 children. I dont have it easy but I seem to get by. I got pregnant with my oldest son at not quite 18. My parents were shocked to say the least but helped me and supported me. I was allowed to be a teenager I just had a baby to put to bed before I left. But I was also a very responsible person for my age. His father was in and out of the picture so it was all us. I think the best thing you can do is support her and guide her. Let her have a life, although it will now be a life with responsibilities. I moved into my own apartment when my son was 4. Today he is 19, lives on his own (with moms cleaning and chef service) and just finished training for heavy equipment operator and a CDL. He was raised with responsibilities too. Its all about support, try not to dwell on the mistake because it will become such a blessing in your life.

 

[impis]

I haven't read all the posts, but wanted to say

Congratulations on being a great mom - for supporting your daughter at what must be a very traumatic and frightening time for her.
Congratulations on becoming a grandma soon - I have 2 grandkids and its lovely!
Good luck for the future. As part of a supportive and loving family, your grandkids and their mom will do just fine!

 

[Cindiloohoo]

Quote:
Praying all will work out for you, your family, DD, and baby to be. No need for judgement. The outcome is decided. You are not a bad mom, a bad mom would have kicked her out upon finding out and left her to fend for herself. Sometimes being a good mom means facing a difficult situation head on with a child who has done something incredibly stupid. Been there. Done that.

God Bless!

 

[HeatherLynn]

Chixie dear I am not sure why you ever thought we would have negative comments about you. We are there for you through car accidents, premmie grandsons and now an unexpected grandbaby. You just need to know that as much as she needs your support and comfort, you need the same thing. If you need to talk it out, you know where you can find lots of shoulders to cry on and ears to bend. Hugs

I would suggest parenting classes or even just reading some of the books with her. If you want a really level headed approach ( in my opinion anyway, I was not huge on books but these I loved) get anything by the baby whisperer. They even have a website. Anything she can do to prepare herself for what is to come. Motherhood is never easy. Being a mother so young is very hard.

 

[debilorrah]

Parenting classes is a really good idea!!! Like I said before, she sure isn't the first or last to make a life changing decision. I am also glad to know that abortion is not an option, and I will leave it at that.

again!

 

[MysticScorpio82]

Quote:
Praying all will work out for you, your family, DD, and baby to be. No need for judgement. The outcome is decided. You are not a bad mom, a bad mom would have kicked her out upon finding out and left her to fend for herself. Sometimes being a good mom means facing a difficult situation head on with a child who has done something incredibly stupid. Been there. Done that.

God Bless!

I couldn't have said it better myself!

 

[chixie]

Thank you/ I feel so much better today and I am starting to look forward to another grandbaby. I talked to DH last night and told him I was proud of the way he is handleing the situation and that I was suprised and he said what was i suposed to do . whats done is done. not the babys fault. I have started to tell my family. we live in a small community and DD already told her freinds so I wanted my family and friends to hear it from me. the support so far has been awesome. Today I tell my dad . that one is the one I dont want to do. I know what he is gonna say. and I really dont want to hear it. but the sooner I tell him the sooner it will be over. I know its all gonna work out.

 

[RoeDylanda]

Dear Chixie,

I'm a maternity nurse in an urban hospital and I've been in deliveries where the grandma-to-be was yelling at her daughter *during labor* about getting pregnant. You're already coping so much better, letting your daughter know she's loved while making her step up and take responsibility for her new life. She is old enough to be a good mother once her heart is in it-- my teenagers are some of my favorite patients, because a motivated teenager is the best learner you ever saw. The ones that really bond with the babies and understand that they are in it for the long haul do really well.

You're a good mom. You tried your best to keep her from choices that would be hard for her, but some of us just can't learn from somebody else's experience. Please do make sure that the paternity paperwork gets done, because the dads often promise the world but it's better if the law can hold them to it.

I wish your family the best. I think you'll do fine.

 

[chickeypoo]

i was 16 when i had my first child. Yes, it changes life.. but not always for the bad. It's not a terrible thing your daughter is pregnant. It's not a great thing either but it should be a happy thing. Life is a beautiful thing. Don't be too upset at your daughter. it happens.. even with birth control. So, just be there for her, help when she needs it. i do wish my mom had been there more for me.. My dad wasn't upset. but i suppose he was used to it already cuz his son(my brother) had two kids already but granted.. he was older then me LOL. anyway, my dad was always there for me.. no matter what. i love him deeply for that.. i kind of resent my mom for not being there for me.. but she still doesn't care to see the grandkids.. so.. yeah. anyway, it's not that you're a bad parent..it's that a bad decision was made. Congratulations! you're gonna have a new grandbaby