I am gonna have another grandbaby in july or aug.

[sred98]

Just wanted to give you some support, along with everyone else, here.

My oldest dd (that I ha the day before I turned 18) had my first grandbaby when I was 38. She was 20. I always knew it would happen...she went buck wild at 14, so I am glad she was older! My response when she told me was, " I was hoping to at least make it to 40!"

She laughed and said, "Too bad!!". Getting upset accomplishes nothing. Having been in that situation, I knew that. Taking about coulda, shoulda, woulda...same thing. All you can do is make the best of it. It's done, she's made her decision, and all she needs is support and encouragement.

Sounds like you're doing a great job. I bet your dad will surprise you. If he does start getting upset, just remind him that it's done. Nothing else to do but go on. Families have to stick together. Good luck!

Shelly

 

[HorseFeatherz NV]

for you, your DH, surprised daughter and babe to be.




Just think of all the adorable chicky things you can get this little one

 

[65browneyes]

Okay, after reading the first several posts, and seeing so many people say that your daughter made a 'bad' choice, I am driven to post before I read more.

YOU are not a bad parent. I'm sure any reasonable parent will readily admit to having doubts about their parenting skills to some degree. But, the bottom line is that children do NOT come with user manual or instruction booklets. We learn to parent from our parents and from observing others with their children. WE parent as best we know how, with the tools we have available to us.

I am NOT a patient woman, have never been a good 'reader' of people, have made some 'less than perfect' choices for myself and my family in my lifetime. BUT, my children have thrived, they make good decisions, and they made not-so-good decisions in their lives. They aren't out sticking guns in convenience store clerks' faces, they don't bully others, they are respectful, responsible young people. They certainly are NOT perfect, and they got that talent from me.

Your daughter decided to have sex, while this decision wasn't great, it wasn't 'bad'. It happened. And, a child will result from that decision. Now, she has some other decisions to make. She has to think for two now. It isn't just her anymore. Life changed. That's all. Life changed. NOW the good and bad choices come into play. NOW she has to choose what kind of parent she will be. Words like responsible, loving, loyal, dedicated come to my mind. Largely because of the kind of parenting she GOT as a child.

I agree, she does 'own' this, but I do not agree that she should be on her own with this.

The day I graduated high school, I was pregnant. Certainly isn't what I wanted, but I had made a decision a few weeks earlier that changed my life forever. Certainly wasn't easy. I was NOT ready to be a parent, but that's exactly what I was going to be. The father bailed on me before I could even get tested to confirm. Best thing he ever could have done for me, too. I was alone except for my mom. Thank God for her. My baby and I wouldn't have had a home to live in if not for her. And, that's not to say we were financially comfortable, either. We struggled. We were POOR. But, we had love.

Today, my baby is 26. Doesn't always make the best decisions for his life, but he's a good man. I have to say my mom played an important role in that fact.

And, so, as I step down off my soap box, let me say, you are the very BEST parent for your daughter. Love her, support her (whether emotionally, morally, financially). She's not a bad person, she'll be fine. This child will be fine. Won't be easy. But, it'll be okay.

 

[ebwy2]

hey congratulations! another grandchild - another person to love!

just remember that this baby is HER responsibility, not yours. Younger girls than her have had babies and successfully raised them, most of the past then she'd have been married younger and had babies before now.

be there, help her - as a grandparent not as a parent-substitute. Give her the chance to prove just how good a mother she can be

and if anyone DARES to make any negative comments to you or within your hearing then read them the riot act about being so <bleeeeep> rude. When they're perfect then they have the right to comment on other people's lives, but until they achieve that then they should shut their faces and stop showing how very far from perfect they are.

babies don't need their parents to have a marriage certificate, they just need security, love, warmth, and food.

this is exciting news for your family

 

[Katy]

I think you need to change the title of this thread to "I'm going to be a grandma agian!!!!"

ETA: I do know how you're feeling to some extent......only it was my son who was going to be a daddy.

 

[cassie]

You are not a bad parent because your daughter ends up pregnant. She made some bad choices. Has nothing whatever to do with you. It is her life. Not yours. You can't live it for her. Don't try. You can support her, but this is something she has to deal with herself. By the way, child support from the father is legally mandatory, not optional. A social worker can help you negotiate the hoops on this one.

It is too bad adoption is not considered and option. It is hard, but sometimes it is the best choice for the sake of the baby. There are so many couples desperate for a baby that cannot produce one of their own.

Just take things one day at a time. Cross the bridges as you come to them and don't fret about them until you get to them. Things have a way of working themselves out.

 

[chixie]

her daddy and I are willing to adopt this baby but she wants to keep him or her... it is her choice so we will do what ever we can for her. I know its bad but i hope babys daddy decides not to come around because I have heard that he is not a great guy. I don't know i have never met him because dd was sneaking around while she was at her friends houses. I will be meeting him soon. he has already told his mother

 

[dandelionheart]

Quote:
My MIL was one of those mothers with my SIL... she made her so ASHAMED, she had disgraced the family. Got pregnant at 17 and wouldn't tell them who the father was (he was a year younger) and MIL swore she would sue. Yeah, for kids being stupid, must have been his fault.

Since MIL had SIL on her insurance and was able to legally be her boss, denied her any pain meds during labor. She of course kept the baby (and I am so glad to have my 19 yr old nephew, he is a great young man). Anyway, so when she was what 18/19 she got pregnant again, baby fathered by a complete jerk, but she feels the need to marry him so that her family wouldn't completely hate her. She lost the baby, but then went on to have 4 more kids with him before getting her tubes tied. She is finally divorced and struggling with kids that were raised by a jerk and don't respect her as they should...

Anyway, I guess my point is that it isn't your fault, it isn't a disgrace to the family, and that how you handle it (which seems to be very positive) will effect her beyond just this. And we have a nephew that is so super close to Hubby, they are only 15 yrs apart. Babies are true blessings and sometimes you can't quite make out how it will work out to the positive, but it is what you make it. Chin up, she needs you and so does that baby.

She can and will do this successfully with support and come through STRONGER.

 

[chixie]

im not ashamed of her just a little disappointed..

 

[chickensducks&agoose]

Sad news? This is wonderful news! A baby is a blessing. Don't ask 'why?', ask 'How can I help?', and you will be doing your unborn grandchild, your daughter and yourself a wonderful gift. Congratulations Chixie! Your life has sounded really rough lately, and I trust that this will be a fabulous new beginning. I'm so happy for all of you.