I Am So Devastated

[redhen]

Its a shame that your husband doesnt care enough to even say hes sorry.
Somethings deeply wrong with that...

He'd not last long here...

 

[redhen]

Quote:
I've cried when i've lost certain chickens and ducks...... Totally cried. Not ashamed either...
Nothing wrong with showing grief when your hurting..

I'd more worry about the ones that show no emotion when they see their pets ripped apart.

 

[SilverPhoenix]

Oh, I am so, so, so sorry for the loss of your flock. I'd be devastated beyond words! I have certainly cried my eyes out many times over my chickens. Just remember, it's going to sting for a while. This loss will hurt intensely, but with time the heartbreak will lessen and you will find happiness with more chickens. There is nothing wrong with mourning and hurting all you need to. You loved these birds and your grief is completely natural and shows your love for them. I am just so sad that you had to face such a heartwrenching loss.

I'll keep you in my thoughts and hope that time heals your wounds and that you cope all right. Please know there are others who know this pain and sadness, too, and we are thinking of you.

 

[chickerdoodle]

I am so sorry about what happened.

Whether it was just a horrible mistake or if it was subconscious act I think you and your DH need to talk once you feel you won't just yell at him.

I would emphasize your disappointment in the lack of apology or remorse and ask him what really happened. Let him talk about it so you can understand what really happened and not second guess his actions or lack thereof.
My DH has left the side gate open and the dog has gotten out a few times and I have really given him a piece of my mind (I can be quite frightening, for 4' 11").

The thing that worked the best however was when I told him how truly disappointed I was that he didn't take the extra minute to be certain it was locked and not just close it without double checking the lock caught. I reminded him how our dog depends on him like a child does for a parent. He adores our dog and honestly didn't mean for her to get out as he knows if anything happened to her not only would he have to tell me but he really loves her too. Being calm and some what collected when discussing the issue works better--especially when you ask a question so they have to talk about it (men don't particularly like opening up). You also have to mention the kids feelings. Assure him that accidents happen but it would be less painful if he at least expressed remorse.

I think that a good way for your hubby to try to make amends for his mistake is for him to get you the automatic door for the hen house. Hatch your chicks after your discussion as you may feel a lot better about him.
If after all this he still won't own up to it or sympathize then you may want to tell him he can sleep in the hen-house as the chickens will be sleeping in your house from now on.

 

[Longview]

I am very, very sorry for your loss, I cannot even imagine the grief you must feel. But think of how much worse you would feel if it had been YOU that left the door open. Not implying you are a careless person, but mistakes do happen. It could just as easily be any of us that make such mistakes, hopefully that will spur some compassion toward your DH. He probably feels terrible, but may put up a defensive wall that LOOKS like he doesn't care.

Anyway you look at it, the two of you need to work it out in an adult matter. Don't let the topic drop after a few days of hurt, address it. Also let him have his say.

To echo the words of others, hatch those chicks; and let the healing begin.

 

[Pickles03]

I agree with Chickerdoodle...I think hubby owes you an automatic door.....

so so sorry for your loss.

And you are not the only emotional one here (obviously)
I cried for 3 days when my dog went blind and barely ate.
The dog adapted far faster than I did.

 

[dawnjoennikki98]

Quote:

I'm so sorry for your loss..
And, Wellsummer, "Seriously?, did you really just say that?"

 

[emmalynn]

Let me explain a little more:

My husband doesn't apologize well. He has a hard time getting those words out. I guess he is the stereotypical Latino man. Instead of telling me he is sorry, he built a new stall in the barn for the goats to kid in this afternoon.
I got up this morning and was a lot calmer. He didn't try to leave the remains to shock me or the kids. He called when he got home and asked how much longer I would be. I assumed that he was wondering when dinner would be done. Traffic wasn't bad and I got there before he could get everything cleaned up. He was trying but when I got home he shut the door. The kids ratted him out before I changed clothes to go outside.
He didn't lie and blame it on someone else. He doesn't love my chickens but he is the one that has built my coops just because he knows I want them. I asked what was he thinking, they aren't laying. He didn't realize that the eggs in the fridge (from a friend) were not from our hens. He said they were brown so he thought our chickens were "working".
Screaming and crying?? You betcha.
Am I too attached? Let me tell you a story. Life is not what I wish it were. We moved back to the farm because of sick parents and grandmother. I didn't want to come back because it wasn't that I was moving onto land of my own but renting the farm that attaches to my parent's and grandmother's land. I know to read what I have typed that is sounds ridiculous but it is kinda like not going to your class renunion because you weigh 50 lbs more than you did and don't want anyone to see you that way. DH loves the country. When the opportunity to rent this farm came along he was packing that afternoon. The only condition I made that if I had to comeback and not the way I wanted...I got to have chickens.
Everyone is pretty much in the same boat. Grateful if you have a job and trying to make ends meet. I make more than he does because some days his job doesn't have enough work to do. I despise my job but it one of the few that makes decent money and has insurance. I have to commute 2 hrs a day for this "decent job" working with the government. I get yelled out all day by the public, juggle home life with work, have 2 elementary age children, and we try to keep our heads above water. Where am I going with this you are probably asking...chickens are my stress relief. After dealing with someone calling to tell you they are going to kill you or someone wants to commit suicide and I end up spending two hours on the phone talking them "off the ledge".....I need stress relief like there is no tomorrow. I hand raised these birds. I brooded them in my house until they were fully feathered and came when I called. I sat on a bucket after work everyday and feed them treats. They would sit with me in the hammock while I took a minute to unwind and not take out my fustration on the ones I love. They are so sweet, fuzzy, and I can talk to them without judgement and comment. Sometimes everyone needs to be "heard". So yes, I am very upset that these birds are gone. If you don't understand that and want to criticize.... find somewhere else to post.
I didn't need to talk to someone to get slammed that I was upset. To those that have posted with ideas to keep this from happening again...I am grateful. I have been looking at automatic door openers most of the afternoon and DH came to tell me that he would help me install it. Probably the best apology I am going to get. To those that have posted to say they have been there, done that, and sympathize. THANK YOU...it is nice to know that I am not alone. Ya'll have given me the opportunity to get this out instead of letting it fester and the advice has been heeded to talk with him versus letting it just build up inside.
If I am coming of like a B(*&^ I apologize. I just think if you don't have something constructive to say...then don't

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

 

[emmalynn]

CityGirl---how was the meet at Las Palmas?