Let me explain a little more:
My husband doesn't apologize well. He has a hard time getting those words out. I guess he is the stereotypical Latino man. Instead of telling me he is sorry, he built a new stall in the barn for the goats to kid in this afternoon.
I got up this morning and was a lot calmer. He didn't try to leave the remains to shock me or the kids. He called when he got home and asked how much longer I would be. I assumed that he was wondering when dinner would be done. Traffic wasn't bad and I got there before he could get everything cleaned up. He was trying but when I got home he shut the door. The kids ratted him out before I changed clothes to go outside.
He didn't lie and blame it on someone else. He doesn't love my chickens but he is the one that has built my coops just because he knows I want them. I asked what was he thinking, they aren't laying. He didn't realize that the eggs in the fridge (from a friend) were not from our hens. He said they were brown so he thought our chickens were "working".
Screaming and crying?? You betcha.
Am I too attached? Let me tell you a story. Life is not what I wish it were. We moved back to the farm because of sick parents and grandmother. I didn't want to come back because it wasn't that I was moving onto land of my own but renting the farm that attaches to my parent's and grandmother's land. I know to read what I have typed that is sounds ridiculous but it is kinda like not going to your class renunion because you weigh 50 lbs more than you did and don't want anyone to see you that way. DH loves the country. When the opportunity to rent this farm came along he was packing that afternoon. The only condition I made that if I had to comeback and not the way I wanted...I got to have chickens.
Everyone is pretty much in the same boat. Grateful if you have a job and trying to make ends meet. I make more than he does because some days his job doesn't have enough work to do. I despise my job but it one of the few that makes decent money and has insurance. I have to commute 2 hrs a day for this "decent job" working with the government. I get yelled out all day by the public, juggle home life with work, have 2 elementary age children, and we try to keep our heads above water. Where am I going with this you are probably asking...chickens are my stress relief. After dealing with someone calling to tell you they are going to kill you or someone wants to commit suicide and I end up spending two hours on the phone talking them "off the ledge".....I need stress relief like there is no tomorrow. I hand raised these birds. I brooded them in my house until they were fully feathered and came when I called. I sat on a bucket after work everyday and feed them treats. They would sit with me in the hammock while I took a minute to unwind and not take out my fustration on the ones I love. They are so sweet, fuzzy, and I can talk to them without judgement and comment. Sometimes everyone needs to be "heard". So yes, I am very upset that these birds are gone. If you don't understand that and want to criticize.... find somewhere else to post.
I didn't need to talk to someone to get slammed that I was upset. To those that have posted with ideas to keep this from happening again...I am grateful. I have been looking at automatic door openers most of the afternoon and DH came to tell me that he would help me install it. Probably the best apology I am going to get. To those that have posted to say they have been there, done that, and sympathize. THANK YOU...it is nice to know that I am not alone. Ya'll have given me the opportunity to get this out instead of letting it fester and the advice has been heeded to talk with him versus letting it just build up inside.
If I am coming of like a B(*&^ I apologize. I just think if you don't have something constructive to say...then don't
