God bless you for having that kind of patience, and God bless me because I sure don't! I always tell people I spent the first 20 years of my life doing things that I didn't want to do, that other people wanted me to, and this past 20 and the next 20 are all about what *I* want to do, and that's exactly what I have been doing! This includes making decisions about whether or not I will answer pesty phone calls from family members, which doesn't happen a lot more often than it does. I just couldn't do what you are doing! See, this is why I made my escape from the city to a rural area...I felt pretty sure that none would follow and they didn't! Plus I love my animals!It was good to hear other people's stories and know that I'm not the only one with the Christmas-killing family. And to be fair to my family, it's not all of them...it's only my mom, and my brother because he hasn't been taught any better. The rest of us try to see the humor in it which usually helps but this has been a stressful year for me and I guess I didn't have enough "happy" saved up to get me through the day.
To all with a crazy, dysfunctional family member...this may make you laugh. I call my mother every evening. Yes, every evening (and if I miss a night, I have to explain why the next night.) Why do I do this? Because I feel sorry for her. Our nightly calls are a barrel of laughs. She cuts stories out of the paper or writes down things she hears on tv that offend her, so that she won't forget to tell me later. These things (usually having to do with morality or lack thereof) will fall into three categories: things that are disgusting, things that make her sick, or things that make her puke. For a while, I had a list with those three headings, and as things fell into the disgusting / sick / puke category, I would put a tally mark in the appropriate column. It got me through the calls and took my mind off the negativity.
I've told my kids, if I ever get to be like my mother, they have my permission to put me out of my misery...and you know what? I really think they'd take me up on it!