I am so done with Christmas...

[NYboy]

In my family children are the only ones who get gifts, Adults get christmas cards with handwritten note.

 

[goobhen]

I wanted to do that!! I tried to take the high road, we just got in my car and left. We did not eat, and our trip takes an hour to get home. I used to say my family puts the fun in dysfunctional. I no longer say that. I know my mom is happy that there is peace in the family now. My brother & SIL knows that I will no longer put up any disrespect to my family.

 

[duckluck]

Reply to TheOldChick: That would have to be preceded by actually liking your family.

 

[duckluck]

I am finished with gifts for ingrates. Last Summer my SIL had an unexpected expense come up which ate up the money that she'd been saving for a trip to see her favorite football team. I ended up paying for it for her as an early Christmas present. I didn't even get a regifted item, her usual gifts are regifts of stuff that she doesn't want, from her. I make decent money and I give good gifts for Christmas. A few years ago in return for a $250.00 gift card to help my one SIL get a good camera I received 3 rolls of Spree candy.

So I am in the school now of only taking care of people that are appreciative.

That's what I'm talking about...I don't have any reason for this season other than for the year to change and hope next year brings better tidings. I am not hopeful for this coming year with our current government, so all I can do is work on what my own two hands can do.

 

[duckluck]

Well my family, who could be Redhen's & Sezjasper's had a big fight at Thanksgiving two years ago. Why might you ask? Because my 30 year old niece got in a fight with my 5 year old grandson. My niece hates kids, hates people! She yells at her parents (who subsidize her rent, grocery and vet bills), leaves in a huff every holiday. My husband was home sick, and truth be told, would rather have a root canal than to go to my family holidays! I skipped Christmas that year, I had to replace my car's suspension for the tune of $2500.00 the weekend we were going to buy Christmas gifts. My brother, father of 30 yr old niece, sent me a less than gracious email asking if we were going to exchange gifts that year, I said no. I did not go to a single family get together for over a year. Finally my brother sent me an email saying he was sorry for his behavior. Last year I went to his house for the family Christmas get together. We gave them a $50.00 gift certificate. What did we get? My husband received (still in the yellow mailing envelope and bubble wrap) a tube of chemical to use on "fogged" headlights on cars, our headlights are just fine, the stuff doesn't work! I received a pair of socks. My brother complained about his $50.00 gift card as he won $500.00 worth of gift cards at a raffle the week before. This year, he sent me a text that the only day our other brother could do Christmas was the 23rd, I said fine, two days later I asked what I could bring for dinner. His reply "Oh you want to do Christmas on Sunday?" Um, yes isn't that what we text-ed about last week? Well I don't have anything for dinner. I offered to make two turkey breast and a pie, okay dinner on Sunday it is. This year, I made homemade vanilla extract, bought gifts over the year. I placed all the available gifts and agonized over what to give each person. My 30 year old niece has never once in her life, given me a gift, doesn't have a pot to piss in, and thinks she only deserves the best of everything. Well I had bought on sale a fire pot for my porch, I never used it. I decided to give that to my niece & her boyfriend. She loved it and thanked me! This was the first time in two years that I took my grandson. When we walked in the door, my niece hugged us, including my grandson! She was just a pleasure to be with!! Everyone loved their homemade gifts, and less expensive gifts. I asked my husband on the way home if he thought my family were possessed! It was the best Christmas ever! My mother is 90 years old (I'm the youngest in the family) I wonder if God extra-blessed our Christmas for her this year? All I know, this was my family's last chance at Christmas, if it had been like the past, this was it. My SIL and I decided next year's gifts will all be handmade! We are looking forward to it. I am praying that my niece keeps on the road to recovery. She had major drug addictions in the past. I think she stopped using about 1 1/2 ago.

I tried the homemade gift thing once and it didn't work. So now we just bear through and are grateful when new year's arrives. I always work if I can on Christmas and any other holidays but it didn't get to me this year for several reasons. Good thing I like people I work with because I sure don't like holidays!

 

[LeslieDJoyce]

Here's the fallout from Christmas. My main gift to my brother (disabled) turns out to be a dud. He doesn't want it. The gift was a juke box that plays cds...which he loves to play his cds...but obviously not on the juke box. He has also in years past turned his nose up at the box set dvds from his favorite tv show (doesn't like dvds...); pajamas which have long pants and short sleeve shirt (wants long sleeve shirt instead); robot toy which he went nuts over at my house (but wanted no parts of it at HIS house)...and on and on. My mom complained for months that she needed new window shades...I got them for her, now I hear that the ones she has are not so bad, maybe she should just save 9 of the 11 shades in case they are needed in the future. She also complained how she had trouble watering her hanging plants because of arthritis...so I bought her those things that you can pull your plant down to a comfortable level and then just push it back up again...she never even took them out of the box. Doesn't want them. Would rather just complain, I guess. She's also mad because she got duplicate gifts from my two daughters and my older brother and sister in law. So we didn't compare notes beforehand? Are we supposed to? Then there's the gifts for the great-grandchildren. I told her the clothes she bought were going to be too small. She didn't want to exchange because she got good bargains on the ones that she selected, so she gave the clothes to the children anyway, and now she's mad because I told her the clothes are too small. Her response? "Next year I'm not going to do this...those children aren't related to me anyway" (they are my daughter in law's children from her first marriage.) I'm to the point where I hate holidays. Thanks for letting me rant...if I didn't get it out somewhere, I was going to explode! So...does anyone else have a family that can suck the joy out of a holiday the way mine can?

Oh, hugs.

I love the food for the holidays. I love the lights. I love looking at the decorations ... as long as they aren't in my house. I gave up on Christmas nearly 10 years ago, and I really don't miss it.

I can't think of anything I enjoy less than receiving a gift from someone -- I actually dread it. I really don't want anything more in my house. And Christmas gifts tend to be particularly bad ...

My Mom was the one who was into Christmas. She so overdid Christmas she pretty much used all the Christmas Spirit for herself. When she died, the family expected me to step in and fill her shoes, but that just felt disrespectful in so many directions that I declined. The family still hasn't really forgiven me for that. I remind them they're probably just missing Mom, which is probably a good thing.

 

[theoldchick]

Reply to TheOldChick: That would have to be preceded by actually liking your family.

 

[EweSheep]

This year, my family decided that only the younger kids(two of them) would get the presents from them (they are on SS and can not afford much) and my sis and I told my mom, ALL we want for Christmas was a family get together, games and FOOD! My two oldest nephews (in their twenties) understood that and we ALL had a blast!

I remember the years past, with my mom's side of the family.....the subject of Christmas was "Who can keep up with the Joneses?" or "You will get a gift IF you give me one" or "I have what you don't have hee hee!". It was nasty, uncomfortable and it simply ruin Christmas! In the last three years, we didn't have Christmas with my parents simply because of my Mom, whatever reason she had, (I remember she had to go to the hospital Christmas morning and she was peeved that we had Christmas without her, opening presents without her being present but she did not get released from the hospital for three days). This year, it was simplified and wonderful! Of course, Dad always got us some cash for Christmas that he really didn't HAVE to but it was so appreciative! (particuarly when hubby is laid off presently).

Another incident last year, my daughter was so ungrateful that I was so determined not to give her ANYTHING for Christmas, she was being such an ***** about her gifts, if it was not what she wanted, she would smash them or throw them in the garbage. And mouthy. She was seven and has Asperger's. This year I decided to get something she would use and not as many gifts(because of sensory overload of so many gifts she had the year before). She didn't get everything she wanted for Christmas but I did get her ONE thing she wanted but the lady had that game could not make it until the Christmas Day after. It was pretty good Christmas overall despite, me and hubby didn't get much for each other or had Christmas presents earlier just before he was laid off. Daughter was pretty good but she would politely open presents with clothes (she didn't like getting them) and passed it on to the next gift box to be opened.


For those who does not appreciate Christmas gifts, and always returning them. Better get them a gift CARD!! Save the aggravation and they can use it toward something they didn't get for Christmas. I highly recommend this! Even a gas card comes in handy for the older folks or teenagers who drives in the family! A WalMart or prepaid Visa card works well too!

This year, I was so sick of Christmas being so EARLY in late September! It kills the fun out of Christmas we used to enjoy!

 

[sezjasper]

It was good to hear other people's stories and know that I'm not the only one with the Christmas-killing family. And to be fair to my family, it's not all of them...it's only my mom, and my brother because he hasn't been taught any better. The rest of us try to see the humor in it which usually helps but this has been a stressful year for me and I guess I didn't have enough "happy" saved up to get me through the day.

To all with a crazy, dysfunctional family member...this may make you laugh. I call my mother every evening. Yes, every evening (and if I miss a night, I have to explain why the next night.) Why do I do this? Because I feel sorry for her. Our nightly calls are a barrel of laughs. She cuts stories out of the paper or writes down things she hears on tv that offend her, so that she won't forget to tell me later. These things (usually having to do with morality or lack thereof) will fall into three categories: things that are disgusting, things that make her sick, or things that make her puke. For a while, I had a list with those three headings, and as things fell into the disgusting / sick / puke category, I would put a tally mark in the appropriate column. It got me through the calls and took my mind off the negativity.

I've told my kids, if I ever get to be like my mother, they have my permission to put me out of my misery...and you know what? I really think they'd take me up on it!

 

[duckluck]

Oh, hugs.

I love the food for the holidays. I love the lights. I love looking at the decorations ... as long as they aren't in my house. I gave up on Christmas nearly 10 years ago, and I really don't miss it.

I can't think of anything I enjoy less than receiving a gift from someone -- I actually dread it. I really don't want anything more in my house. And Christmas gifts tend to be particularly bad ...

My Mom was the one who was into Christmas. She so overdid Christmas she pretty much used all the Christmas Spirit for herself. When she died, the family expected me to step in and fill her shoes, but that just felt disrespectful in so many directions that I declined. The family still hasn't really forgiven me for that. I remind them they're probably just missing Mom, which is probably a good thing.

There's a bit of that going on in my family too...my grandmother was our "Christmas Elf". My mother can't cook anything anyone wants to eat and I simply won't, so there goes the meal. I too like looking at decorations somewhere else. I miss sleeping on the couch with the tree turned on, that's about the only I do miss, but luckily it is also the thing most easily remedied with the least amount of interference if I decide I want to do it!