I am so done with Christmas...

[duckluck]

It was good to hear other people's stories and know that I'm not the only one with the Christmas-killing family. And to be fair to my family, it's not all of them...it's only my mom, and my brother because he hasn't been taught any better. The rest of us try to see the humor in it which usually helps but this has been a stressful year for me and I guess I didn't have enough "happy" saved up to get me through the day.

To all with a crazy, dysfunctional family member...this may make you laugh. I call my mother every evening. Yes, every evening (and if I miss a night, I have to explain why the next night.) Why do I do this? Because I feel sorry for her. Our nightly calls are a barrel of laughs. She cuts stories out of the paper or writes down things she hears on tv that offend her, so that she won't forget to tell me later. These things (usually having to do with morality or lack thereof) will fall into three categories: things that are disgusting, things that make her sick, or things that make her puke. For a while, I had a list with those three headings, and as things fell into the disgusting / sick / puke category, I would put a tally mark in the appropriate column. It got me through the calls and took my mind off the negativity.

I've told my kids, if I ever get to be like my mother, they have my permission to put me out of my misery...and you know what? I really think they'd take me up on it!

God bless you for having that kind of patience, and God bless me because I sure don't! I always tell people I spent the first 20 years of my life doing things that I didn't want to do, that other people wanted me to, and this past 20 and the next 20 are all about what *I* want to do, and that's exactly what I have been doing! This includes making decisions about whether or not I will answer pesty phone calls from family members, which doesn't happen a lot more often than it does. I just couldn't do what you are doing! See, this is why I made my escape from the city to a rural area...I felt pretty sure that none would follow and they didn't! Plus I love my animals!

 

[rrrmamma]

We really haven't "done" Christmas for the last 3 years. My family is in California and DH's live about 100 miles away. Because of his ex wife we don't go to his son's anymore, so we don't see the grandkids. We are struggling with financial problems so we don't gift each other. We bought live trees the first 2 years we lived in our new house but the last one didn't get planted soon enough and died. This year I decorated a philodendren that grows to ceiling height in our living room with one string of white lights and plastic snowflakes. We had a nice meal, drank our first glass of his first batch of home brewed beer and read from the bible together, No shopping, no stressing. I think this is the best Christmas we ever had . With all the stores rushing the holidays in October I am burned out on the commercialism by Thanksgiving. I gave baskets of homemade cookies, jellies, candy to two of our friends who have helped us all year. Think we will do it that way from now on. Happy New Year to everyone.

 

[sezjasper]

God bless you for having that kind of patience, and God bless me because I sure don't! I always tell people I spent the first 20 years of my life doing things that I didn't want to do, that other people wanted me to, and this past 20 and the next 20 are all about what *I* want to do, and that's exactly what I have been doing! This includes making decisions about whether or not I will answer pesty phone calls from family members, which doesn't happen a lot more often than it does. I just couldn't do what you are doing! See, this is why I made my escape from the city to a rural area...I felt pretty sure that none would follow and they didn't! Plus I love my animals!

True confession: part of the reason why I moved where I live now is because I knew my mother wouldn't make the drive out here (about 15 miles...lol...) That plus Caller ID are lifesavers. You know, I really feel bad about these rants I've been posting, because my mom has done some things for me that would make your jaw drop to the floor...but it's the day to day nastiness that I just can't get past. Believe it or not, my chickens have brought so much joy to my life. Thanks to them, there is always a bright spot in my day!

 

[sezjasper]

We really haven't "done" Christmas for the last 3 years. My family is in California and DH's live about 100 miles away. Because of his ex wife we don't go to his son's anymore, so we don't see the grandkids. We are struggling with financial problems so we don't gift each other. We bought live trees the first 2 years we lived in our new house but the last one didn't get planted soon enough and died. This year I decorated a philodendren that grows to ceiling height in our living room with one string of white lights and plastic snowflakes. We had a nice meal, drank our first glass of his first batch of home brewed beer and read from the bible together, No shopping, no stressing. I think this is the best Christmas we ever had . With all the stores rushing the holidays in October I am burned out on the commercialism by Thanksgiving. I gave baskets of homemade cookies, jellies, candy to two of our friends who have helped us all year. Think we will do it that way from now on. Happy New Year to everyone.

I would argue that you and your husband really did gift each other this year...a happy New Year to you and all you hold dear.

 

[kacklinkelly]

I never thought I would post on a thread such as this. However, here I am. Being raised in a huge family that loved
to overdo just about every celebration, I often times felt like I must have been left on the door step because it felt
so odd to me. I would follow along but be crazy, tired and make my kids and husband miserable because everything
had to be just so if "my family" was coming.

When my parents down sized, we bought their home. I also became responsible for hosting the celebrations
that my parents used to. The first year, my father organized a get together and forgot to tell me that I was hosting.
He thought I was just going to do it because they always did. I had people at the door and nothing to offer them.
People started scrambling to get appetizers and drinks put together fast. My parents were not very happy but that
seemed to be the only way I was going to be taken seriously. (I was usually the push over) It didn't happen again without me initiating a gathering. My husband and I and our children moved several years later.

The last few years, I have chosen to work the holidays. Our children are adults now. I work with formerly abused and
neglected teens. Many have little to no memory of a happy christmas. I have chosen to focus on these children on the
special holidays in the hope of providing at least one happy holiday memory. Since working in this field, I have chosen smaller
works better for me. Keeping it simple keeps the focus on the true meaning of the season for me. My 6 year old grandson
said it best when he said "I told my teacher that Christmas is about family and that's it!" Out of the mouths of
babes. For me, anything over and above having family together actually on the hallmark holiday or any day that our
family declares the holiday is gravy.

Some of our fondest memories of holiday gatherings have been at our leanest times as mentioned by some of you.
Go figure. By the way, it was a Chictastic Christmas this year and lots of laughter around the chicken coop. Thanks for sharing and for giving me a spot to share from my heart. My bio family feels sorry that I am not around them during the
holidays (2500 miles away - they are always welcome to visit

)

May the only cliff we fall off in 2013 be one with a huge trampoline!

 

[redhen]

Well my family, who could be Redhen's & Sezjasper's had a big fight at Thanksgiving two years ago.  Why might you ask? Because my 30 year old niece got in a fight with my 5 year old grandson.  My niece hates kids, hates people!  She yells at her parents (who subsidize her rent, grocery and vet bills), leaves in a huff every holiday.  My husband was home sick, and truth be told, would rather have a root canal than to go to my family holidays!  I skipped Christmas that year, I had to replace my car's suspension for the tune of $2500.00 the weekend we were going to buy Christmas gifts.  My brother, father of 30 yr old niece, sent me a less than gracious email asking if we were going to exchange gifts that year, I said no.  I did not go to a single family get together for over a year.  Finally my brother sent me an email saying he was sorry for his behavior.  Last year I went to his house for the family Christmas get together.  We gave them a $50.00 gift certificate.  What did we get?  My husband received (still in the yellow mailing envelope and bubble wrap) a tube of chemical to use on "fogged" headlights on cars, our headlights are just fine, the stuff doesn't work!  I received a pair of socks.  My brother complained about his $50.00 gift card as he won $500.00 worth of gift cards at a raffle the week before.  This year, he sent me a text that the only day our other brother could do Christmas was the 23rd, I said fine, two days later I asked what I could bring for dinner.  His reply "Oh you want to do Christmas on Sunday?" Um, yes isn't that what we text-ed about last week?  Well I don't have anything for dinner.  I offered to make two turkey breast and a pie, okay dinner on Sunday it is.  This year, I made homemade vanilla extract, bought gifts over the year.  I placed all the available gifts and agonized over what to give each person.  My 30 year old niece has never once in her life, given me a gift, doesn't have a pot to piss in, and thinks she only deserves the best of everything.  Well I had bought on sale a fire pot for my porch, I never used it.  I decided to give that to my niece & her boyfriend.  She loved it and thanked me!  This was the first time in two years that I took my grandson.  When we walked in the door, my niece hugged us, including my grandson!  She was just a pleasure to be with!!  Everyone loved their homemade gifts, and less expensive gifts.  I asked my husband on the way home if he thought my family were possessed!  It was the best Christmas ever!  My mother is 90 years old (I'm the youngest in the family) I wonder if God extra-blessed our Christmas for her this year?  All I know, this was my family's last chance at Christmas, if it had been like the past, this was it.  My SIL and I decided next year's gifts will all be handmade!  We are looking forward to it.  I am praying that my niece keeps on the road to recovery.  She had major drug addictions in the past.  I think she stopped using about 1 1/2 ago.  

HUH?!? Redhens? ME? What'chu talking about?

 

[goobhen]

My apology Redhen, it was Duckluck, I guess I said Redhen cause both of your avatar's are red and I didn't have my GLASSES on!! I don't always wear my glasses (which in the past I only needed for distance, but the distance has grown much shorter)!! Please forgive me!!

 

[sezjasper]

HUH?!? Redhens? ME? What'chu talking about?

Redhen I think goobhen was referring to duckluck, who posted right after me...but maybe got distracted by my avatar...now there's a "red hen" for ya! Unless you've also got a wacky family you're hiding in the closet...in which case, goobhen just outed them LOL

 

[redhen]

My apology Redhen, it was Duckluck, I guess I said Redhen cause both of your avatar's are red and I didn't have my GLASSES on!!  I don't always wear my glasses (which in the past I only needed for distance, but the distance has grown much shorter)!!  Please forgive me!!  

Its okay..I was giggling.

 

[redhen]

   Redhen I think goobhen was referring to duckluck, who posted right after me...but maybe got distracted by my avatar...now there's a "red hen" for ya!  Unless you've also got a wacky family you're hiding in the closet...in which case, goobhen just outed them   LOL

Shhh! We wont mention my cousin that was trying to sit on my husbands lap on Christmas Eve...
Yeah..my family is a bit twisted too...