I cannot believe what my neighbor did today.....

[PearlD]

The deputy told her she was crazy.

But my concern is what my kids witnessed today!! They have never seen anything like that! Can you imagine working hard outside, sweating trying to make your first chicken coop.......and this nutbag running at you ordering you to give your name to the cops?

My son was unsettled the rest of the day. And it won't get any better unless she moves, which won't happen. She is truly unstable, but I just don't know where to draw the line. I guess I can be more visible outside........maybe she will think twice before screaming if I'm standing within earshot?

 

[Gracie_Chickie]

I would meet with my neighbors to discuss the issue. Kodiak's idea to contact adult children is a good one.

Has she threatened your children verbally? It sounds as if she may have been trying to scare them with her car. It sounds as if she could be picked up on an EDO (Emergency Detention Order) and have her observed for 72 hours in a psychiatric setting. It sounds as if she has no impulse control, and poor insight and judgement. In order to do this, you must convince the court that she has acted in a manner that shows she may be a danger to herself or others.

Has anyone just talked to her straight up, and given her a little reality therapy? She may be a bitter, lonely, old woman who needs to act out to get attention.

A cell phone with video capability would be a good way to document some of her behaviors. Goodluck! Keep us posted.

 

[JennsPeeps]

I'd get on record with the local PD that she's harassing the neighborhood.

Get the cops on your side so that when she does call or go off the deep end, they take away the right person.

 

[FlockEweFarm]

Perl, The best thing you can do for your kids after a traumatic situation like that, is to calmly talk about what happend with them. Let them know that they did nothing wrong, intentionally, legally, and that they were in no danger of going to jail. Sit them down and tell them that Joan has "issues" and that when they see her approaching, they should leave the area and either find you or another adult. Children need reassurance that they did not do anything wrong, and that they were not going to go to jail. The deputy should have reassured them of that fact. Stress the fact that they built a really cool coop, find another place to put it, hang out with them until she is nothing but a shadow of a memory.
Perl, I am a little bit of an expert at dealing with traumatized kids, so if you have any further issues, feel free to pm me and I will help where I can. But if they let it drop, so should you. Stress the positives, and move on. My favorite saying is "Non iligitimatus corabundanum" Never let the ba&$#@ds grind you down .... so dont let it grind you.

 

[cjeanean]

honestly, if my kids were at stake you better believe someone would be headless. I can't stand that, she is not their parent and has no right to treat a child that way. I understand the very good points that were posted on here about possible mental issues due to her strokes, but I don't know what else can be done. They cannot force her to move, but you can file a complaint against her for what she did to your kids. There are witnesses, and I think it would be completely appropriate to file something. She needs to be sent a warning through a certified letter that if she ever verbally abuses your children or touches them, for whatever reason, you will take legal action, and that any future problems need to be taken up with you. Tell her you will also file complaints against her if she screams at your children for being in the road (which is public property, they have a right to ride their bikes etc in the streets) and that if she has a problem, once again, that she needs to take it up with you. If the other children in the neighborhood are being treated this way as well I would suggest getting the other neighbors to very formally, firmly, and politely send out the same type of letter. Include that all conflicts will need to be resolved patiently and respectfully. If she gets in your face about it after getting the letters then tell her you aren't going to talk to her if she's irate and slam the door in her face. Otherwise, I would get a small cheap video camera and rig it up on your property so you can tape what she does. Make sure it's sound equipped.

 

[PearlD]

Great insight Calamity. You hit the nail on the head.
My husband and I have always been the 'defenders' of Joan.......letting everyone know about her mental issues. And my husband did have a long talk with all of them after the deputy left.
He warned Joan that she had angered alot of parents, and that it was within their rights as parents to inquire to the police about her videoing the children. He let her know that the authorities would jump on any case that even resembled 'pedophilia', EVEN if that wasn't her intention. It seems that we are almost protecting her from the other parents, but it has really gotten out of hand recently and I can't control what aonther angry parent does. I will forward your post to my husband. It was full of great information.

**Gracie, she continuously threatens the kids. She even told them early this morning that her daughter was bringing her pit bull to stay in Joans pen, and that he had a BIIIIGGGGG mouth.

 

[Ugly Cowboy]

I'd file a restrainin order or somethin! I knew an old bat like that when I was about 8, and I was walkin down the road to my friends house and she was in her yard. Well, she always yelled at us and told us we was goin to hell, for doin absolutely nothin! Well, I was always taught to obey old folks, so when she told me to come over for a sec, I did for some dumb reason, and she smacked me on the back with her cane enough to break it in half (her cane, not my back,) and called me every name in the book for, get this, breakin her cane! She called the cops and my folks and told 'em how I beat her up, but of course no one believed her, she was a known trouble maker, and I had a nice gash across my back from that, not to mention, I was just a little boy, and I wouldn't have had the strength then to do nothin, even if I would've wanted to (which I didnt, I just wanted the heck outa there!) So she ended up gettin hauled off to God knows where, rantin and ravin about us "little blankety-blank hellions" the whole time, and thats the last we ever saw of her, thank the Lord. I still have the scars, and my back still feels like somethin's screwed up in that area.

 

[PearlD]

WOW......thats assault!!!!

I know Joan is on the warpath, but I can't imagine her hitting one of the kids. ALthough it may escalate to that with her mental issues.
She was so kind when she first moved here......it kind of makes me sad. She used to make the kids a big breakfast on Saturdays.....with chocolate gravy and tons of biscuits........They loved her. But she has really taken a horrible turn, and I just wish her family would take action. They are never around when she has her 'episodes', and her daughter doesn't want to believe what has taken place.

 

[cjeanean]

Quote:
Write down the date and time she said that, and write down the date and time the pit bull shows up. Also, you may want to call the police on that one, because that is considered assault with a deadly weapon/threatening and although I have 2 pits that are awesome dogs they CAN be very dangerous! Especially if they are not used to kids. One of our dogs is fine with kids and adult women, and just has a problem with men (think she was abused) but our male was harrassed severely without our knowledge by the neighbor kids and now HATES strangers and will grab them, let go, and 'hold' them until me or my husband comes over. All dogs can be VERY dangerous, but with the rep pits have it's even worse. They are very strong, and if trained or pushed to do so can and will do major damage. The dog is probably a sweetheart, but you don't know what it'll do with strangers around. Definately document that!

 

[PearlD]

Well, my husband had overheard the kids talking about that comment when they came in for lunch, and he addressed it with Joan later. He point blank told her: If that dog gets out and bites one of my kids.....its as good as dead. Of course she didn't believe him, but again he made it perfectly clear. JOAN, If the dog bites one of my kids, its as good as dead.
He was calm. He was respectful. He was serious.

This dog has never been around any kids, and I fear for the neighborhood........and the dog. We have a 'pit bull vigilante' in our midst, and no one knows who it is. (Its not my husband...lol) Several Pits have'disappeared' from our neighborhood within the past year. We have a great group of parents in our community........but they take their kids and pets safety seriously. Thats why I'm concerned that someone will turn Joan in without first trying to resolve any issues calmly.

What a nightmare!!!!!!