I can't believe she said or even thinks that

[deb1]

Something that I am ashamed of is the racism that exists in my extended family. I remember one summer, I went to stay with my aunt and uncle in another state. Before I left, I hugged my neighbor goodbye, a young, male of a certain ethnic group. When we arrived at my cousins house, they took me aside and told me that I was disrespecting the family to hug my friend. They said that they weren't even allowed to have certain ethnic groups over in the house. Not only was I shocked but I felt dirty myself. It was like having slime poured over the top of my head. I was just disgusted.

There are certain people in my family(and they are among the better educated members) who I really wish that I could disown. All I can do now is avoid them.

Even writing out the above story makes me feel just horrible and ashamed of my family.

I think that racism is partially a choice. My family was racist but I chose not to be racist. Judging someone's worth based on silly criteria like the color of their skin or their nationality has never made sense to me.

 

[Ridgerunner]

I hear you. I see examples of the same thing, not only with older people but also sometimes younger people that should know better.

I know we as a country are not totally where we need to be yet but I really think it is getting better. I see national commercials with racial pairings that would have been totally unacceptable just a few years back. It was interesting how my parents attitude changed when some of their great-grand children were of a different race. I think a whole lot has to do with dealing with individuals instead of generalities.

I spent a lot of time overseas working and sometimes took grief from how our country treated our minorities. I'm not defending it in any way, but people in glass houses. Consider how the French treat Algerians, the Danes treat Icelanders, the Germans treat Turks, the English treat Pakistanis. From my experience and what I see in the news these days, I really do think our country is progressing better than certain other places in the world. I just hope we can keep it up.

 

[horsejody]

Quote:
That's basically what we did.

 

[horsejody]

Quote:
Nobody is too old to be corrected for some things. I hope that if I say something so utterly stupid when I am older, that my kids and grandkids say something to me about it. You are never too old to overcome ignorance. BTW my MIL is only in her sixties. Most people I know that age don't think that way.

 

[rebelcowboysnb]

I will keep my opinions to my self on this one. Heres some good reading on the subject tho.
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2009/10/05/your-race-affects-whether-people-write-you-back/

 

[deb1]

Quote:
Nobody is too old to be corrected for some things. I hope that if I say something so utterly stupid when I am older, that my kids and grandkids say something to me about it. You are never too old to overcome ignorance. BTW my MIL is only in her sixties. Most people I know that age don't think that way.

I agree. A person in their sixties is not considered elderly.

 

[CMV]

I am so sorry for your DIL. How embarrassing for everyone involved! Your MIL deserves a good swift kick in the pants. What the heck is the matter with her?

 

[rodriguezpoultry]

Quote:
Nobody is too old to be corrected for some things. I hope that if I say something so utterly stupid when I am older, that my kids and grandkids say something to me about it. You are never too old to overcome ignorance. BTW my MIL is only in her sixties. Most people I know that age don't think that way.

I agree. A person in their sixties is not considered elderly.

My grandmother is in her late 70s. I still will not correct an elder in his/her beliefs. They believe that way for a reason, all that matters is that I behave and believe differently.

 

[FireTigeris]

My FIL just now started speaking/acting racist... its really odd- maybe what they were taught resurfaces in their beliefs.

I keep leaving when he starts- suddenly- and when he ask I tell him, but only when he ask.

"I do not beleive that all of any group of people behaves a particular way, there's good and bad in each person or group- I do NOT tolerate this type of conversation in my house nor will I subject myself to it here."

"Now- If you'd rather talk about (blank) then I'm sure I can stay for a few more minutes."

 

[deb1]

Quote:
I remember visiting an elderly woman who lived in a nursing home. IN the room next to her was another woman who cursed and cursed. I asked a nurse-I was a teenager- why that woman was cursing so much. The nurse told me that the woman had not talked like that when she was younger but something happened to damage her brain and make her unaware of what she was saying. Of course, so many years later, I have the explanation a bit confused, but maybe your FIL is suffering from a similar problem?

I commend you for your way of handling the situation.