I dont understand why. PICS

[country freedom]

Seriously....do you absolutely need this man in your life?
If you do need him - get rid of those ducks.

Allow your boyfriend to keep you in the turmoil he has you in - he's obviously loves doing this to you and he doesn't care about any feelings you have.
We see him having you under his authority.....meaning he can have and do anything he wants - but, you have to beg for anything you want, and thats not gauranteed.

NOW! Please listen to what we are trying to let you know....HE isn't going to change, except to get worse and you won't be liking that, either.
Get your boyfriend OUTTA your life...he's not Blessing you in any way....he's a Curse on you.


Remember this saying:

If I can do bad with you
I can do better without you!

You will be Blessing yourself!

 

[DurhamDuck]

Quote:
Keep the ducks, dump the boyfriend who obviously doesn't care about your feelings at all. If you fear for the lives of your ducks you need to either move out so your boyfriend can't harm them (or let them go so a predator will kill them) or you need to give them away NOW for the good of the ducks.

BTW, if he gets rid of your ducks and gets himself a dog, I'd give the dog back after a week and then tell him "Turnabout is fairplay" and see how he likes it.

 

[fowlmood]

This is not about the ducks anymore. Regardless of whether or not he says you can keep the ducks now, this argument is never going to go away. We can tell by the way you talk that you want to believe he wont hurt you anymore. Well I'm sorry but from an outsiders point of view, he is and will continue to be abusive. If you want to live with that then let the ducks go. And any other pet. YOU have a chance to leave- the animals don't.

 

[featherfinder]

easttxchick wrote:
Wifezilla wrote:
I think I would rehome the boyfriend
DITTO! Sounds like he is either an insensitive boob OR an abusive Azshat. Either way, put him on craigslist...free to any home
OK, I'm sorry featherfinder, I don't mean to be insensitive, but when I read this I almost needed a Depends I laughed so hard. I like the way you put it, Wifezilla.

Yes re homing him does sound like a good idea. This is the first time that he has ever been like this with me and we have know each other for 5 plus years being together 2 of those years and this is the first time. If he does show any more signs of abuse trust me i am not afraid to take my ducks and leave cause my last relationship was abusive and i would never go threw that again. I think that it is because when we moved we had to get rid of his dog because it was a pit bull and not an accepted breed there and now he wants a lab and thinks it will hurt the ducks. We talked last night and last night he seemed more willing to try training a puppy and the ducks to live together so we will see if he keeps his word.

Quote:
Their names are Killer and Princess because one will eat everything in site and go after almost anything and the other you have to baby and treat like a princess lol. They were at our pet store in a cage like they keep rabbits in. They had ducklings, chicks, and turkins is wat they called them. and the mice are actually in a back room away from them so no not next to the ducks. I went up there to ask where they got them and their actual breed and that is wat i saw. And i will post pics as soon as i get home becuase i am at work right now and have no pictures of them with me.​

 

[stormylady]

I had a long speach typed on here for ya, but took it off because I didn't feel right saying nothing positive about your boyfriend. You sound like a really nice girl and he sounds like a jerk to put it mildly. But those are the classic signs of a Control freak and abuser. Sorry But I would take my ducks and leave. Hope everything works out for ya. Good luck.

 

[Dunkopf]

I would dump the BF just because he was stupid enough to bring ducks into an apartment to live.

If it was me I would find a good home for the ducks and tell BF to never bring home any animals he doesn't intend to keep. Bringing an animal into your home is a commitment to the animal. So if it's not going to stay it shouldn't be there in the 1st place. Apartments aren't meant for livestock.

 

[featherfinder]

Quote:
Thanks. Everyone seems to be saying the samething about him so im guessing everyone might have had to deal with something like this before. I just dont understand in the 5 years we have known each other this is the first time. there should have been other signs before now dont you think?


Quote:
I have every intention on keeping them and giving them a happy full life. I had 2 ducks when i was younger and they were kept as pets to and i have seen that some other people on here that keep there ducks as indoor ducks to. They are not just confined to my appartment so they do have a real life. They get to got outside everyday and play in a kid pool and free range around for whatever they like to eat. Other than that they just think they are human now.

 

[Mom 2em All]

Im so sorry that you are in this situation.

I have a concern that I dont think anyone has addressed- and nobody knows this answer, except maybe you.

IF you keep the ducks- against his wishes- will he be mean to them when you arent around?
Will he let a new puppy/dog torment them when you arent there to see?
Will something happen to them, and you will be told its an accident?

Im not going to tell you to leave, I dont know your circumstances. However, I was married to my soul-mate- the love of my life. It took me fourteen years and three children to get the courage and self-confidence to leave. He was MY soulmate, I was not his. He was the love of my life, I was not his. I almost lost my life on several occasions- and it all starts gradually. If everyone started out as creeps, we would not fall in love with them. Controlling behavior is sometimes perceived as innocent- like getting upset because you didnt call him, or return his text message fast enough..and getting upset and wanting you to stay home with him instead of going out with friends- because he misses you and loves you so much...

I wish you the best, no matter what you decide.

 

[aduckstolemyheart]

For the most part I will echo the sentiments from the other posters. However, just because I do not know you, or your boyfriend, I will throw in another possibility.

Men can be dense. And people in general can sometimes have different views on animals and pet ownership than others. Some people simply don't view them as pets, consider them expendable and truly don't understand that bond. Especially with exotic or farm animals, like birds and ducks. It is possible that he just doesn't GET that relationship you have with your ducks. Even though deep inside I want to call him an azshat too, it may not be malicious on his part.

I can certainly understand wanting a pet of his own, especially if the ducks are bonded to you and not to him. He may feel jealous. Try to reason with him. Let him know how much these ducks mean to you, and that you understand why he may feel as he does. He should have a pet too. Suggest that perhaps you could compromise and try a breed that is less "Retriever" if you're concerned. However I firmly believe a lot of it is how you raise the animal. There are plenty of forum members here with dogs, and even Retriever breeds. Especially with firm guidance and boundaries, and exposure to your ducks as a pup, I imagine the animals could grow to have a very decent relationship.

If your BF still acts like an ass after that conversation, and your understanding of his feelings, then please, listen to the above posters and leave him at your nearest pond.

 

[AnaD]

Quote:
I agree.
I hope he isn't the jerk we seem to think he is!
Good luck