I'm so sorry for you. You can't help but feel bad, but know that you're not alone.
I was scared out of my mind in the spring. I wanted chickens so badly, but I was afraid to because I thought I'd make a mistake. A sweet friend said..."the only way you'll learn is by doing. You're going to make mistakes. That's how we all learn. But if you REALLY want chickens, you're going to have to just get out there and do it."
Have I made mistakes? Too many to count.
Have I learned from them? You bet.
Is it worth it?? Totally.
Life is one great big adventure after another. LIVE.