I Feel Really Sad

[Dances with Ducks]

I'm so sorry. No wonder you feel sad if the person who is supposed to be closest to you in this world talks so mean to you. My first husband was like that, we even had years of counseling but he never matured enough to learn that is no way to treat someone you care about. I stayed with him 14 years, and when I left he did everything to try to make me sorry. In the end he learned he can't expect to treat his wife like that and have the marriage last. He treats his second wife better I hear.
When I see a husband talking to his wife like that I always want to suggest counseling, but I know that's not always easy to find and it doesn't always work. Some guys turn around as they mature, but you can't count on it.
If you don't have someone to talk to it's good you decided to write about it. Don't keep it bottled up and remember it's not your fault. No one deserves to be treated that way.

 

[Pine Acres Peeps]

We have been together for 13 years and believe it out not he has always been wonderful to me until about 6 months ago, it seems to get wonderful some days and then just gets worse. Here lately I am expected to be able to go and go without stopping, I got a bit sick a couple weeks ago and it seemed to be a problem for him, even more so if I ask for help feeding the animals. I only ask if I have to and I always get the same answer, I'm gone sell all the ________, if I have to take care of them. I think he's beginning to look for something else, he doesn't drink, smoke or do drugs so I can't think of anything else that could cause this behavior.

 

[Blackbird]

I agree with redhen, he sounds like one of those obsessive controlling dipstick thats need to get dipped in boiling water. I vote for SSS.

Ok, not really, but there is definitely something wrong, your husband sounds exactly like my dad. And he has never changed, so you probably won't like any of my advice.

But you deserve way better than that!

 

[Dances with Ducks]

13 years is a long time. You know if this behavior is something fairly new maybe there is some hope. Like with counseling - do you know a minister maybe?
A wife's instincts are usually good, but if he is starting to look for something else there is usually something else behind that. It's amazing sometimes when you get to the bottom of it. Weird things can drive people into wanting to cheat without them even realizing what it is. I hope you can get it talked out enough so he doesn't feel like he has to act like that anymore.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
Your one smart kid! You see it..you know how it really affects a family! So sorry kiddo!

it shouldnt happen ever....BUT triple that when theres children involved.

 

[Pine Acres Peeps]

He says I'm crazy for asking if he wants anything different. He says he'd never cheat on me and wants to be together forever. But then he says theres nothing wrong he's tired, or something broke, or blah, blah, blah. Never gives me a good answer. He is 19 years older than me, maybe thats the problem, maybe his going through the *change*. As far as counseling, he won't talk to anyone about our problems, he's be mad if he knew I was on here talking to anyone.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
I'm so sorry! Maybe he is looking for something else..(and that HAS got to be so very hard

..)...but, as far as i can tell..its HIS loss.

Stay strong...dont let anyone be abusive (even if its just verbal..) to you. You dont deserve it.. Noone does.

 

[Big C]

I have to say I am guilty of the same.
My wonderful and very lovely wife of almost 30 years recently had an accident that has cost her her passion, running.
It is a devastating injury for any life long runner.
Today I was rude and non understanding to my wife all the while trying to be understanding.
Tomorrow I will be a better man since my wife loves me so very much.
I feel guilty every time I do this and after all these years together with this wonderful woman, she continually makes me a better man for us.
I appreciate her so much on this up coming Fathers Day.

I Love You with all my heart Joni

 

[Blackbird]

Quote:
Your one smart kid! You see it..you know how it really affects a family! So sorry kiddo!

it shouldnt happen ever....BUT triple that when theres children involved.

Yup, livin through it daily, no one needs that, luckily I'm only born into and will get out eventually.

Pine Acres, do you know much about his past or childhood? That might have a related answer to this all. Age can change people mentally, for good or bad.. hopefully you will find a solution best for you.

 

[astylishgirl]

Has he had a check up lately? Could he be physically ill? I know people get grumpy when they don't feel well. Especially if it a new behavior as his seems to be.