I feeling so lost right now

[momma's chickens]

Two months ago I took a leave of absence from my job to care for our 4 year old disabled daughter. My dh is on disability and had back surgery and great grandmother who cared for her is in her eighties and recovering from breast cancer. In the process of quitting my job, we also pulled our two oldest, ages 13 and 8 out of school and I started homeschooling. I am happy to be home but I feel like I am contributing nothing and I feel like I lost my identity. Also, not to brag, but I was good at my job and sometimes I feel like a failure like a mother. NObody is happy all at the same time.

I am doing the best I can but always feeling it isn't good enough partly because in my job I had my boss's confirmation I was doing a good job and if I didn't I knew about it. I miss my job some days but other days am very glad I am home. I feel like God put me here but I am scared for our future because I feel like our country is in big trouble and I know social security won't be here forever. Also I know I need to be home to take youngest dd to physical and occupational therapy and preschool. Part of me thinks her disablitity is not going to get any better, her hand function will never work, she will never talk and so forth so I should find daycare and go back to work, but then that makes me feel a failure to feel that way and that I need to trust God.

My dh is terrific but he doesn't understand, he is all-consumed on getting off of disability and going back to work.

Am I crazy and should I just get over myself and deal with it or what? Thanks for listening!

 

[The Chicken Lady]

You need to flat out tell your DH that your emotional needs as a mother and wife are not being met. I love men (I have a DH of my own), but as you probably know, men communicate differently than women.

If you need vocal affirmation that you are doing a good job homeschooling, or taking care of the house, or whatnot, you need to specifically ask for it.

Maybe that seems like the affirmation might be "fake" or whatever if it is first requested, but everyone communicates differently and your DH might not realize you need words more than you need a hug or a smile.

Most men appreciate direct instructions for what needs to be done to fix a problem. Your DH will appreciate knowing what he, specifically, can do to help you feel better.

Good luck in this tough time in your life!

 

[wendy]

wow so sorry you are going through so much!

do you have family that can give you a break where you can have time to yourself even for a few hours?

trust in God and ask him to help you. he will guide as to what you should do.

wendy

 

[happyhen]

The hardest and most thankless job is being a wife and mother.

My prayers are with you and yours. It sounds like you made a tough decision and are working hard to care for those who love you and depend on you.

Be strong.

 

[amazondoc]

momma's chickens :

Am I crazy and should I just get over myself and deal with it or what? Thanks for listening!

You are NOT crazy, and you should NOT just get over yourself. You deserve to have feelings just as much as anyone else.

You've had a lot of changes in your life, and you've got a lot of responsibilities. It's absolutely natural that you might feel overwhelmed and/or lost. Allow yourself to have those feelings, it's okay!​

 

[miss_jayne]

wow. overwhelming at best. you are a brave lady. a busy lady!

yep, you are where you are for a reason.

fear isn't of Him, and it doesn't matter how unstable the world is, you are going to be provided for. we can be concerned, but fear, not an option. and if you are feeling afraid, think to yourself that feelings are fickle. faith=fully relying on and trusting in and believing in God to be in charge. do it afraid!!! go forward!

time to sit back and remember that you were fearfully and wonderfully made. all your days already ordained. also, your qualification of self should come from One and only that One. write on your mirror if you have to and read it a hundred times a day. say it out loud if you have to!

sounds like you are a Proverbs woman. Prov. 31; that lady had a lot going on too.

God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you. a hedge of thorns around you and your family and a covering of His shadow over you.

 

[chickenma]

Life isn't fair but we have to look at the good things in life.
Yes , it is not an easy time to live in and yes we get a lot of obsticals in our life.
But keep the faith that GOD will take care of you and your family and our wonderfull country. We and you are gonna be OK.
Look at the good things in life and try to focus it on that.
When I feel lost I try to find little things that give me a good feeling. A dry sunny day outside. Hearing my kids laughing. Being able to live free, and live one day at the time.
I will send some positive energie to you and pray that you gonne be fine.
God bless you

 

[momma's chickens]

Thanks everybody, I really appreciate hearing from you. I was so excited to stay home but it is a little overwhelming at times. I didn't mean to whine but sometimes I feel like screaming. I appreciate what each and every one of you had to say and I think dh and I will be talking this evening.

You are appreciated!

 

[momma's chickens]

I posted my last reply before Miss-jayne and chickenma posted. You are so right I need to remember God is going to take care of me and I read proverbs 31 alot and pray that somebody God will make me a little like that woman.

Chickenma, thanks for reminding me to focus on the goods things. I have LOTS to be thankful and very little to complain about. I just posted a thread on her about how blessed I feel to live where I do.

Thanks again, I appreciate hearing that I am not crazy. LOL

 

[TheTeenyTinyFarm]

You are a very strong, loving and wonderful women! We all feel this way sometimes. Especially today with all this economic crud going on...it is very scary.

But thanks to our God, he will see us through and give us the strength we need to keep going.

Thank you to all of you for such wonderful words and helping us to remember that God is in control...sometimes we just need to be reminded of that.

Again, I so much needed the words that were spoken in this post.

Hugs and prayers to each and every one of you!