I had my feelings hurt today...

[spook]

can't blame you for having your feelings hurt, I would too. With those people that are taking "Maude and Josephine's" word for it, YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW THEM!!!! When you can, fence in YOUR property and let everything run amuck! HA, give them old bats something to complain about!
I don't care for charging dogs, I've had my share bust their move through my Lupine, but pooop happens, you scream at the dog at the moment if it makes you feel better. Other then that, the curtosy should have been that they gave you a call, met you while you was out- not babble on. (like I am!) Hey, you pay your taxes, you can do as you please!

 

[BlackSilkey]

Do any of you adults reamber when you were in school and went to a new school and were friendly to everyone and they called you a nerd or a girl if you were a boy ard harssed becaused you dressed better than the other kids and were smarter or was a boy that did coars they did that stuff because they we insacure. and were being down right JERKS.

 

[meriruka]

I moved to the country and have met a few people who have done the same. We all have stories about certain people who do not like us because we're "foreigners" and do things differently than they do. I've even heard stuff about "yankees" (I mean really. My ancestors were all busy starving in Europe when the civil war was in progress.)
I have a neighbor who is the 'matriarch' of the big family at the end of our (dead end) road. She pointedly will not speak to me and has forbidden her (all over 40 ) daughters to speak to me as well.
She feels that I'm evil because I live with my bf and we are not yet married.
At first I was angry and thought 'When did God give YOU the right to judge me?' But after some thought I realized that she is only important at the end of our road, and once off it, there is no one who will take notice of her, no one to boss around, no one who cares at all. Kinda sad. Anyway, I don't think I could form a friendship with someone like that, so it doesn't really bother me.
Some people just don't matter in the scheme of your life.

 

[miss_thenorth]

Quote:
I absolutely agree here.
The thing is he who gossips to you (no matter what the intent) gossips about you (even in an attempt to put things right).

The person telling you this is probably telling your neighbor your reaction.
All I would ever do is just smile and say you are sorry they seem to feel that way and change the subject.

Never let one drop of unkindness to these people fall from your lips. Wave in a friendly manner when you see them. Say Good morning or whatever to them at every opportunity.

Then when the neighbors are badmouthing you, your true friends will rise to your defense and let them know in no uncertain terms that YOU never say anything bad about THEM and will defend your kindness and good character to the hilt.

Kill em with kindness and rise above the pettyness. Besides, it will make them mad that you are so gracious and nice and they really can't say too much about it without making themselves look like idiots. Muahahaha.

I agree with this. i have lived here for nine months, We have been 'friends ' for nine months. i knew she was a gossip-er, etc. Right from the start I've told her i don't wnat to hear what she thinks of other ppl. If the gossip stays out of the pic, we get along fine. She said she defended me when this lady went off. And I don't doubt that. all she knows right now is that i am upset--with her for telling me, and also for for what she told me. i have questioned our friendship several times, and now i find myself questioning it again.

The fact that the neighbours don't like us--i can deal with that. It's not an ideal situation that i now know they go around badmouthing me, but they are nothing to me. the thing i guess i'm struggling with right now, is if there is another reason for her telling me this, b/c in all honesty she has hinted that other ppl had 'asked her ' if we were 'snobs', b/c of our 'house.' and so on....

As the day goes by, i find I'm really more upset b/c of this and am re-evaluating our friendship.

(sigh), Life can never be easy, can it.

 

[BearSwampChick]

Hmmm, I wonder what she said to them about you? Maybe all is not what it appears to be?

 

[Just-Like-Hatching]

I have lived in seven states and four foreign countries. Never liked all my neighbors and not all of my neighbors liked me. I have learned to just live my life and let those that wanted to be a part of it to do so and to ignore those that don't. So I live by the "Who cares what they think" rule.

 

[Wildsky]

Quote:
Sheesh I was thinking the same thing!!!

 

[Rosalind]

Unfortunately, there are small towns and rural areas that are not so nice. If you happen to be the newbie in a town where everyone else grew up together, it's sort of a coin-toss whether you'll get a warm welcome or be reviled as the outcast foreigner for multiple generations. I've experienced both, and there's no sure-fire way to tell in advance.

IMHO--the higher the unemployment in the area, the more likely you will be in the "outcast foreigner" category. When I lived in a small town with plenty of jobs to go around, everyone was too busy relaxing after work to do a whole lot of gossiping, and people built friendships around work and carpools rather than neighborhoods and gossip. Idle hands are the devil's workshop and all that.

Once, just once, a friend did indeed tell me about how the neighbors had been gossiping and whining about how me and DH were "bringing down the tone of the neighborhood." This was a neighborhood where houses were made out of tarpaper and the cars in the driveways were made out of Bondo and duct tape, fer cryin' out loud. And my friend did mean well, and said it as a warning that we were going to have trouble with that particular neighbor, and sure enough we did. And honestly, nothing but absolutely nothing I ever did made it any better, no matter how nice I was to that neighbor, she was just a jerk who didn't want to be civil. I didn't get upset over her shiftless butt, because if she had nothing better to do with herself than be a nuisance to the police and gossip on her porch with her equally shiftless and losery friends, then bless her for at least keeping all her troubles confined to our rat-hole of a poverty-plagued neighborhood. Some people are born to be jerks and they are not worth getting worked up about.

 

[Rusty Hills Farm]

You just let it roll off your back. It's their problem, not yours.

We moved here 3 years ago and everybody was sooo super nice....right up to the moment they found out we're Jewish. Now only 1 couple will even speak to us. But I'll be danged if I am gonna let that spoil my retirement farm!

I dreamed of having this place for so very many years and now that I've got just what I want, I am determined to enjoy the place and the HECK with what any ol' neighbor thinks!

 

[equine chick]

For a minute I thought you were talking about my neigbors! Let me tell you a story up your alley. We lived here for 9 years. We left a big house in the city and bought this small farm. We have a simple farmhouse but nice. We own 28 acres, not a lot to some but just perfect to me and dh and the horses, chickens and what not dogs we have. Our kids are all grown now. I have neighbors that moved in after us that lived to side of us and they own 1/4 acre. Well no matter how many times I waved, tried to say hello I've been given the cold shoulder by the dh or whatever he is. Their house is newer but certainly not nicer than my 100 year old victorian farmhouse that happens to be one of the oldest houses in our area and I love it Literally he has tossed his nose up at us. Well yesterday their daughter changed things, she is 4. I was out feeding my colt cowboy and she staying on their property decided to bring up conversation with me about her she loved horses, she is just the cutest thing. Dh is watching us from the house but of course mom decides to come down and starts talking to me about how every morning she gets up she stares out her bedroom window and looks at my horses and begs to come down. After talking for 30 min or so, the mother just blurts out "how sorry she did not talk to me before, I seem so nice." Not the way her husband thought. "we were rednecks because we had a old house." There is nothing wrong with being rednecks, I replied I moved here from the large city of pgh 9 years ago and never looked back." The Dh still has not talked to me but it's partly my fault, I should have initiated conversation and become more neighborly. Maybe her husband will never care for me I really don't care. My neighbor came over today and met the chickens, paige her daughter thought they were the greatest and she picked out 3 chicks she wanted to raise once they set up the old shed. A country girl at heart and my newest friend. Go and introduce yourself, what harm would it do. Give them some fresh eggs, they go along way and if they don't want to talk to you then you are no worse off.