I have a huge conflict

[redhen]

Quote:
very true!...in my towns local newspaper they print up the weekly police blotter....interesting stuff in that thing....

....so, the public sees it every week...

 

[skirbo]

As to the moral issue, if his wife is really this lady's best friend, she probably already knows about the affair. Spouses in law enforcement and other similar fields are *expected* to keep 'secrets' from their spouse. His spouse should be well used to not hearing everything about her husband's day.

Professionally, he signed a confidentiality agreement at the least and may very well have had to take an oath. It can not only cost him his job to violate that agreement, it could result in criminal charges.

He's only in a tough situation because he's emotionally involved in it. If this were a casual acquaintance he would not think twice about saying and doing nothing.

Sarah

 

[Chicken Salad]

Quote:
What she said.

(EC - you are amazing - wise and succinct)

 

[beak]

It will come out. If it doesn't it's because they broke it off. It's not up to you to destroy their marriage. If the guy is your friend it will effect your friendship. If the guy all he sudden comes out and say's hey she's cheating on me just act surprised. He'll be too wrapped up in his own problems to notice your response. She may cut it off and fix whatever their problem is. It's their problem not yours.

 

[joshplus10]

Quote:

+2



Quote:
+1

You are in a hard spot. However, in your position in the community, you are in a position of trust. If it gets out that you used info gained while in a position of privileged information, your credibility will go in the toilet.

I would not say anything unless SHE approaches you. Then you can let her have it with both barrels. If she is dumb enough to drop your name in that "delicate" situation, she will be found out soon enough.

 

[Wifezilla]

very true!...in my towns local newspaper they print up the weekly police blotter....interesting stuff in that thing....hmm....so, the public sees it every week...

Yup.​

 

[lorieMN]

some people dont want to know the truth..others dont seem to care even if they do know as long as it isnt public knowledge...I would not say anything to the others,I may to my spouse..you have the privacy thing you need to worry about..if this blows up could you end up losing you job over it if things get brought to court?.people turn very nasty when they fae possibly losing everything they own..I say let them work it out..now if I had been driving down a road and saw them myself..you bet sure as _ell I would be all over the one I found cheating..but morals aside,you have the privacy thing and should respect it or look for a new job

 

[eggzettera]

Do me this is very straight forward.

You obtained this information through work.

Work dictates that you keep it confidential. - Done!

You don't tell your wife either it will put her in the same no-win position you are in.

Continue being friends with him, he is going to need one.

I would let her know that you don't appreciate her dropping your name, thus letting her know:

A.) don't do that again
B.) you are at the very least semi-aware of the situation, hopefully forcing her to deal with it herself (not telling her you know & "may" tell the husband - just let her guilty conscience play with the "will he or won't he" scenario for awhile..)

 

[ridgefire]

Sorry I havent been back sooner to answer. I picked up this ambulance shift to help avoid everything with the wife. I havent seen her yet, and I wont till tomorrow morning when I leave the station.

Funny thing though. I got home from work and checked caller ID, you will never guess who called the house 3 times.

I know she wasnt calling to talk to my wife because she would just call her cell plus they work together so she knew my wife was working.

As far as scanner land. No they wouldnt have heard a thing. We use a 800mhz scrambled so unless you have invested big bucks in a scanner the only thing you pick up is Fire/EMS.

I do know I am more ticked about her using my name. The trooper and myself just laughed. I told him if he ever catches her in anything, to write her.

Its one thing if I am truely your friend, but I dont really consider her a friend. I do however consider the trooper a good friend. So yes even if I wasnt working I would have been told about it.

 

[AngieChick]

Quote:
If you are avoiding your wife because of this, you need to talk to her about it. You can't let her friend's infidelity impact your relationship.