I killed my sweet Lady Marmalade :(

[Country4ever]

She was a really sweet 6 year old Buff Orpington. She was fine until a couple days ago. She hadn't laid an egg in a couple months, but my other 7 hens hadn't either, ever since the coon attack. I figured it was a combination of the attack, their age, and the shortening day.

A couple days ago dark brown fluid came out of her mouth. She sounded like her lungs were congested. Her crop was flat and still was today. I had wondered if she had fluid in her abdomen, as it was a little distended.
I was going to tap her abdomen tonight, to see if there was anything in there, but decided to do a bicarb flush on her this afternoon, in case she was somehow impacted......even though her crop was flat.
Whenever I would handle her, fluid would come out her mouth. Her lungs sounded full too.
Anyhow........I went out this afternoon to flush her. I flushed once (with a baby's syringe) and a bit of old food came out. I flushed her again, and her comb turned dark and she couldn't breath. She died.
I drained her abdomen and got clear reddish fluid out. That made me feel a little better.........that it was a more serious illness and I just didn't kill her with something little and reversable.
I know she was sick. But I feel so awful that I pulled her out of her crate, told her I was going to help her feel better, and then killed her.
I hope I didn't put the 2nd flush into her lungs.
I couldn't even try to hold her upside down, as that made her worse.

I just feel so awful. I should have just left her alone. I fear she thought I was hurting her at the end.
I don't want to feel this bad.

 

[chickenannie]

She was already very sick. You would NEVER have intentionally hurt her. We all do the best we can. It is one of the things that all pet and farm animal owners must face from time to time and that is sickness and death of animals they care about. Just know that now she is out of her misery.

 

[murphysranch]

I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[fiddledeedee]

As hard as it is, you should try not to feel guilty. You had the best intentions, things just didn't go to plan. It sounds as though she was very ill and only had a short time left. If anything, you released her from her suffering.

 

[chickenzoo]

Please don't feel bad. If anything you did really caused her death, you gave her a quick one and ended her suffering.

 

[Scoop]

Don't beat yourself up too badly. I think you did the best thing you knew to do. Be glad she isn't suffering any more. And be glad you gave a hen a really good life compared to factory farmed hens.

 

[jeannieo]

Please don't do this to yourself! It sounds like you are a wonderful chicken momma and it was just her time to go. I can do this to myself too. I had this beautiful little four month old white araucana that I named Audrey Hepburn. She had a rough go of it, she was a lot smaller than the others and she got picked on. I won't bore you with all the details but will tell you that about a month and a half ago, she was very lethargic and not eating or drinking. I took her to my "certified avian vet" because I have only had chickens less than a year and I had no idea. They gave her fluids and a gavage feeding and sent her home. she stayed in the house that night and I spoiled her rotten, tempting her with all kinds of stuff she hadn't had before, mainly watermelon (which she LOVED) and plain yogurt. In the morning she was fine. she went along and the same thing happened a month and a half later. I took her in again, they presented me with an $800 estimate and I had a minor meltdown. all they see there are dollar signs. anyway, I asked if we could try what they did before and they said o.k. but came back and said that they were afraid she would aspirate any force feeding and choke to death. I made the difficult decision to have her put to sleep. I have been agonizing over this little chicken for over two weeks. In hindsight, I think she had cocci and I'm wondering if they gave her antibiotics, would she still be here with us. I don't know why the "certified avian vets" didn't even mention cocci. I feel like I contributed to her death by my inexperience with chickens. I do feel a little better each day but I know that doesn't ease your pain. We do the best we can and sometimes it's just their time to go to that big coop in the sky. I am so very sorry for your loss.

 

[StormyRidgeChixLady]

Im so sorry for your loss. She was obviously very ill. Sometimes we do things and we feel like miracle workers. Other times there is nothing we can do, they have reached the point of no return. If we are all lucky, we get to live a great life, and live to old age, which she did. Im sure u didnt kill her, but at the least, whatever it was, she is no longer suffering! She's hapy now, just remember the good memories!


Amber

 

[purpletree23]

I'm so very, very sorry for your loss. My heart is just breaking. I was following your other thread and I know you were taking care of her around the clock and doing the best you could for her. It's not your fault. Unfortunate, horrible things happen every day...............maybe someday we will know why these things happen. When I lost one of my girls I felt better when I thought that maybe God needed her more so he could laugh at her antics and take comfort by holding her on his lap.

You are in my prayers sweet lady. Take care. Love and hugs.

 

[TinyBirds]

How wonderful that she lived 6 happy years. If you watch this video of factory-chickens, you'll know how great her life was in comparison, even with the sickness at the end of it:

and the videos of factory egg farming are even worse than the meat-chickens....

I think you should feel great about the good life you gave her. She was very lucky to have you.