If you care to hear the rants/troubles of a young adult.

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Apparently, the same planet as several others on this thread. I have known and known of many young adults, who quite enjoyed the life of coddling and irresponsibility, and parents who catered to it, without complaint. I got a set of cheap suitcases for my highschool graduation present.

Just because there are others who agree with you doesn't mean you are right. As for coddling I can understand that, but the OLD ways weren't the best ways. IMO it's not parents who coddle todays kids it's the rest of society.

I wanted my children to have the advantages I never had and the edge over your kids. Times have changed. While I used to go tricker treating by myself , it's just not wise anymore. For a girl to be riding a bike by herself or even with another friend is not safe. Nor is it for boys either. 1992 Sean Googin, Cazenovia , NY walking to meet his parents , from his job , never made it. They found his body in the lake. Only a fool would take such chances with their childs life.

Further more to suggest she have an adult talk with her mother is ridiculous. If she could muster up the courage to have such a talk, she'd be more mature than her mother. Which is why I suggested a Social Worker at school. Some parents follow the same vain they were brought up in. That doesn't make it right. Parents who use disparaging remarks as a means of getting their child to change are ignorant at best or fools at worst.

Nothing anyone here says can change my mind. I know when I'm right!

So, if you had kids coming up today, you'd do what? Be their permanent slave or force them to live in a rubber room, until they had the ability to manuever in a society filled with riff raff?
 
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Ba ha ha! That was the expected graduation gift in my family too!
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The only other thing I'm going to suggest online college courses through a community college? Even if you can't find a way to get out of the house right now, you can still get some of those early college credits out of the way.
 
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I think you're in a tough place between almost adult and full adult.

IMO, since you are no longer in school you should be contributing financially to the household. If you don't have a job, that means you do more of the work. Maybe you already do, but you need to document that so you're sure of your opinion. Make a note of how much work gets done during the week, and how much you do.

Work
Is helping your sister with her animals helping the house, or just your sister?
Helping with homework doesn't count, teaching a subject or doing a project with the little ones does.
Your laundry doesn't count, the little kids' laundry does.
etc

Job
If your sister has a job, can you figure out some sort of carpool system? Figure out what hours you could work, based on her schedule, and put those hours on your application. Or, do you have any friends or neighbors you could carpool with? Or, can you work at any neighbors farms, small businesses? Start your own business?

Education
It's never a bad thing. Think about it. Are there any scholarship programs you could apply for? Any programs at colleges that let you work and take a few credits for free? Free online prep courses?

Anyway, you get the idea. Stop thinking of yourself as a victim of circumstance and start thinking of creative ways to improve your life.
 
Have the family assign you some chores that are yours alone. You be the one who always washes the dinner dishes, without being asked to. You be the one who takes out the trash, without being asked to. That way the chore will be waiting for you and you can prove you can work without being nagged about it.

Even if you have your license, what are you going to do for a car? You expect the family to turn the use of the car over to you and they should go without? There are no bus lines? You can't carpool to work? You don't know how to ride a bicycle?

Yeah, if you were locked away in your room playing on the computer, I wouldn't be happy with you while I was out running the vacuum cleaner and doing the laundry and cooking the dinner. You do wash your own laundry?

You are going to have to figure out how to help yourself. It isn't going to be handed to you.
 
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Just because there are others who agree with you doesn't mean you are right. As for coddling I can understand that, but the OLD ways weren't the best ways. IMO it's not parents who coddle todays kids it's the rest of society.

I wanted my children to have the advantages I never had and the edge over your kids. Times have changed. While I used to go tricker treating by myself , it's just not wise anymore. For a girl to be riding a bike by herself or even with another friend is not safe. Nor is it for boys either. 1992 Sean Googin, Cazenovia , NY walking to meet his parents , from his job , never made it. They found his body in the lake. Only a fool would take such chances with their childs life.

Further more to suggest she have an adult talk with her mother is ridiculous. If she could muster up the courage to have such a talk, she'd be more mature than her mother. Which is why I suggested a Social Worker at school. Some parents follow the same vain they were brought up in. That doesn't make it right. Parents who use disparaging remarks as a means of getting their child to change are ignorant at best or fools at worst.

Nothing anyone here says can change my mind. I know when I'm right!

So, if you had kids coming up today, you'd do what? Be their permanent slave or force them to live in a rubber room, until they had the ability to manuever in a society filled with riff raff?

Kids today? I raised four. The oldest is in Computer Security for the military, the next is a teacher in TX the third Forensic chemistry and the last a stay at home mom. They all went to a private school that I worked a lot of hours for. They are all responsible adults. Your comments make absolutely no sense to me.

Believe it or not there are many ways to raise a child and the way I was raised was not it.

I am proud of them,

Rancher
 
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So, if you had kids coming up today, you'd do what? Be their permanent slave or force them to live in a rubber room, until they had the ability to manuever in a society filled with riff raff?

Kids today? I raised four. The oldest is in Computer Security for the military, the next is a teacher in TX the third Forensic chemistry and the last a stay at home mom. They all went to a private school that I worked a lot of hours for. They are all responsible adults. Your comments make absolutely no sense to me.

Believe it or not there are many ways to raise a child and the way I was raised was not it.

I am proud of them,

Rancher

All this, over the suggestion that someone might gain a little independence in life, by riding a bicycle a few miles to work. I was basically called an idiot for making such a suggestion. Well, all I have is my own life experience to draw on, as do you. I'm right, and I know it.
 
Being a really paranoid mother myself, I do have to say I see a major difference in a 10 year old riding a bicycle without supervision to a teenager 16 or older riding it to work. I see nothing wrong with Royd's suggestion. I think it's a good idea myself.
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If the OP's parents have an issue with it, they could drive her.
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Seems to me judging someone else by the way they are parenting their children is ignorant and judgmental. I might not agree with how you raise your kids, but they're your kids and you're free to screw them up however you want...just as I am my own. No sense in arguing about it.
 
Hey Loth, great to hear that you are being so generous with what was money given to you. Personally though, I would still put shopping on hold for a time, and do something like hand-made gifts or baked goods instead. That's just a suggestion, but one that may help you get into a situation where you can more easily buy gifts in the future after a job is found.
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Let me know if you need any help navigating whatever public transportation systems are in your area (if you have them)...they can sometimes be confusing to navigate at first. Resumes, cover letters, and applications, as well as preparing for interviews are something else that are often beneficial to ask around about, because knowing what is expected on those will greatly help increase your chances of being hired. They tend to have a pattern to them that one is expected to follow, and many people I meet do not know this. There are many, many good resources for those on the internet, and I strongly recommend using them.
 
Lothriel...

Ignore everything negative and focus on the positive.

What your mother said to you is not terribly uncommon for a mother to say. When kids grow up, moms get confused too. She was not thinking about your feelings, though I agree she should have been, but it wasn't her intent to hurt you. It was most likely her intent to motivate you in some way, sometimes moms can get confused about how to do it, or whether you need it or not. They get fustrated too.

Here is what I know you should do.

Finish that application. Keep it honest, but be sure to make yourself sound good. Keep applying places. Call up on your applications, show you are motivated.

Once you get that interview, do whatever you can safely do to make it there. Take the bus, call a friend. Hold onto some of that graduation money, in preparation for calling a cab. Just make it to your interview. Get yourself hired.

Now you'd be surprised what that will do for the morale between your mom and you. Suddenly you are no longer "stuck" in the in-between place of, are you her child, or her adult offspring? Instead, you are showing yourself an adult in keeping a job... you had a plan, and you suceeded in implementing it.
It won't make everything rosy, but I am certain it will help move your mom into the right mindset, and you as well.

Then you sit down with your mom, and you let her know that you start work on blah day at blah time. You really have been feeling lately that it's time you became a contributing member of the household, and when your first paycheck comes, you think you will be able to afford blah amount of rent per week/month (depending on your check frequency)... Does she think that is an acceptable amount?
In order to keep the job and pay rent, due to current temporary circumstances, you will need assistance in transportation to/from work. Does she see any way this might be possible?

When you start work, if you have other co-workers... try to make friends, and see if there is someone there willing to ride share in exchange for gas money. I've helped people with this, known many people who did this to get to-from work... so it's not uncommon.. and it can be beneficial to the driver because a few extra minutes on the way home can mean less money out of their check for gas
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For the housework side of things... no matter how old you are, it always helps to have it in writing. You could put up a dry-erase board with names and days on it for chore-sharing, I have done that in multiple room-mate situations... Or you could write your mom a nice note every morning, ask her if there is anything she would like you to do today?

So you are letting her know that your problem isen't in the doing, it's in the knowing what to do. With females and the way we tend to "posess" our enviroments, sometimes it's hard to jump in.

Your mom won't be the only one to feel better with these changes, you will feel better. You know you can do this, and your mom does too, she just may have forgotten. So remind her by showing her. Remind you, by showing yourself.

I know we wish the people in our lives would support us emotionally 100% of the time... but sometimes they aren't capable of it at that particular point in time. It doesen't mean they won't ever. So take the leap and step forward on your own... you'll be proud of yourself, and I'm willing to bet your mom will be too
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