Illnesses, bullying..should I homeschool? Long rant

[Ellie_NY_chick]

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Yeah, I was kidding. I edited my post to have a

in it so people would know. I wasn't trying to say he should beat a bully up, just look too strong to fight and be left along. Hee hee.

And for the spelling bee.... That sickens me. Those parents drill their kids with that kind of stuff. Just like the Little Miss [Insert City Name Here] Pageant. Those parents prep those kids while they're still in the womb and that's what their child's life revolves around.

P.S. Haha, yeah, I meant college.

Hey hey now - I went to the National Spelling Bee when I was in the 7th grade. I was never drilled by anyone. And no, I didn't win....

 

[Chickenmaven]

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Homeschooler, here! (I have one kid in reg. school, so I can make some solid observations). In many instances, kids cannot learn "good" social skills from peers. Their peers are thrown out the door with a poptart in the morning, run with the pack at school, latch-key 'til evening... (These are the kids that flock to my house to enjoy a dinner, at a table, with a mom & a dad - oh, my!)

I am part of a homeschool group that has over 100 families & meets regularly. And I must say: THOSE HOMESCHOOL KIDS ARE NOT "NORMAL." They don't swear; they don't scream; they say, "Yes, m'am." Weird.

 

[Chicken Fruit]

First off, dont let him take antibiotics until his body is unable to fight an infection himself. Antibiotics are NOT the answer in most cases. Even ear infections.

Antibiotics cause immune deficiencies in children, and it takes months and months, even years to balance it back out again.

Ask me how I know...

I was a very VERY sick child, I am not supposed to have survived childhood. I was sick with strep/ boarderline rhuematic fever every other week due to antibiotic use. Its not worth it.

Kids get sick, they build antibodies, their bodies are forced to function and then later on they dont get as sick- in most cases. Antibiotics are for last-case-worst-case scenarios.

It may mean not going to the doctor right away, and seeing a sick kid who feels like shist for a few days- but in most cases they pull through. Iam not saying never see the doctor, but in most cases the doctors just give antibiotics like theyre candy. The result is a kid who constantly sick.

Second probiotics in that kid, daily. kifer is your best bet, a really good all natural low sugar yogurt with more than one live culture is a good substitute.

Third, see a chiropractor who deals with detoxing kids off of antiboitcs. Its hard to find them these days. That sounds queer, but it will help. Most of your immune system is in your intestines, the rest in lymphnodes and glands either along or directly linked to the spine and the nerves there in. I was sick every other week until at age 9 I went to one and he found out about the sicknesses, he worked on me daily for a couple weeks, some times more than once a day- but iam now 26 and have NEVER had strep since, and I've only had the flu 2 times since then. They know what theyre doing- if you find a good one.

As for homeschooling, go for it. Personally I think its a better education for a child. However, dont hide your kids away from bullies and the world in general. Part of living is learning how to deal with being beat up and picked on. The world is only getting worse, and this sort of activity is only becoming more common. I believe its best to be able to get your child through this time by cheering them through it on the sidelines at home while they become a better person for being bullied, and not becoming a victim.

That sounds rough, but trust me I know my crap on these two subjects. I was homeschooled, but whenever I was in school I was the one they picked on. Imagine being in 8th grade at a studen body assembly, being called up for a program on the stage, and everyone booing you when you walked up the isle. Or, imagine sitting alone at a purposefully empty lunch table while EVERYONE ELSE threw food and slurs and insults at you... EVERY DAY. That was me. It was hell, but going through it made me a better person, stronger, and more compassionate. However, there was the relief of home schooling to get me through that awkward time. I graduated early, almost 2 full years early, and got on with my life where most people my age are still trying to figure it out.

The world is truly falling apart, dont take your child out of it, instead let them view it from afar and learn who they are in it, and how to perceive it. A lot of people pull their kids out of school to keep them out of the world- thats just cruel.

I am going to home school our son- he's only 2 right now, but thats the plan.

 

[crait]

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Some kind of Standardized Testing should be implemented to homeschooled children every year. And if they don't meet a certain level. (Let's say 50%.) Then they should be forced to go to public school or have a private school send the state a letter saying they go to the private school.

 

[Chicken Fruit]

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Some kind of Standardized Testing should be implemented to homeschooled children every year. And if they don't meet a certain level. (Let's say 50%.) Then they should be forced to go to public school or have a private school send the state a letter saying they go to the private school.

The same testing available to public school children is available by law for home schooled children. All the regency tests, all the proficiency tests, presat's SAT's, etc. Its all available.

you should research the studies on home schooled children versus public school children. Theyre far more likely to attend college, hold full time jobs, and in most cases have better social skills than public school children.

adding: Most states (any that i've ever lived in or heard of, except MO) require you to turn in a curriculum at the beginning of the year to be approved by the local school board, and a completed portfolio to be 'graded' by a certified teacher to satisfy federal schooling requirements per age and grade level.

As far as socialization goes, unless you sit at home on you duckus all day staring at books you're going to socialize just fine. Theres homeschool groups, play groups, homeschool sports leagues, swim teams, HSA's field trips, camps, retreats, lock ins... and all with people and children who are emotionally more balanced and capable than the public at large.

 

[crait]

Argh!!! I just had a really long thing typed up but I deleted it all!!!!
Anyways, I'll retype the gist of it.

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You and HenMama2 are doing a great job then! But read what Hangin Wit My Peeps said. If you don't do it right, it'll fall apart.
Grant it, these are the two extremes and Sammysmom needs to decide where she'll fit between the two. Will she have time for reading the magazine or going to meetings or will she just give him one or two worksheets a day and go watch soaps?

 

[Backyard Buddies]

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My concern with this particular situation was that the OP said that the child had very little exposure to peers for the first 5 years of his life and that his exposure during this time was almost entirely to adults. It is quite possible that this particular child needs MORE exposure to kids his own age. As I said, there is NEVER an excuse for bullying, but eventually we all deal with them in our lives - whether it be on the playground, the ball field, or the office. Dealing with bullies is something that we cannot hide from. It takes a combination of adult support and learned skills. Whether or not the OP decides to homeschool, he still needs to learn the important skills that associating with kids his own age teaches. HOW the OP decides to do that is her choice, but right now she admits that he hasn't had much exposure up until now.

 

[Chicken Fruit]

Quote:
My concern with this particular situation was that the OP said that the child had very little exposure to peers for the first 5 years of his life and that his exposure during this time was almost entirely to adults. It is quite possible that this particular child needs MORE exposure to kids his own age. As I said, there is NEVER an excuse for bullying, but eventually we all deal with them in our lives - whether it be on the playground, the ball field, or the office. Dealing with bullies is something that we cannot hide from. It takes a combination of adult support and learned skills. Whether or not the OP decides to homeschool, he still needs to learn the important skills that associating with kids his own age teaches. HOW the OP decides to do that is her choice, but right now she admits that he hasn't had much exposure up until now.

I dont agree with pulling children out of school and hiding them at home. If children required daily interation with children of the same age this society would never exist in the first place- most of our forefathers were home schooled, and their only experience with other children would have been sundays at church. Granted that just doesnt work with todays culture and society- but worrying over a child getting enough social 'exposure' is a little silly.

Children are being prepared for an adult world- how to function as an adult and reason and interact as an adult- being around other adults is the only way to learn those skills. Being around children is how they practice them- not learn them.

I think a lot of it is just that people as a whole have two mindsets. Some want children that achieve todays social standards that are normal for their age group- and those who want children that can raise above that, since so much of it is useless anyway in practice in the long run.

There certainly needs to be commitment on the homes schooling parent's part to get that child into VARIED groups of children a few times a week, and to encourage playdates and sleep overs.

one thing about home schoolers that annoys the PANTS off me are when Christian parents homeschool their children and only EVER expose them to other like minded children and adults and environments. Its creates a culture shock in the grown adult that often is more than they can handle. I have seen that first hand a few times and its never good. Most of the time the adult child throws themselves headlong into every bad and potentially harmful activity there is- the very ones the parents tried so hard to avoid.

You've got to get your kids socialized, show them the world, expose them to those wrong and wicked trains of thoughts and actions (to a degree, as they grow and are able to understand) and teach them how they are in those situations.

We were never hidden from the world as children. We saw it for all its wicked disgusting harmful self, and our parents helped up keep our moral and spiritual anchoring through it all. Most other kids dont get that.

I believe that is the most harmful thing in homeschooling.

 

[Blackbird]

Although there are probably some homeschoolers that are sent to public who are socially 'incapable', there are also very many kids in public school who are also.

Yes, bullies are a fact of life, but does a kid need to deal with it every single day? NO WAY!
I'd rather have a kid who is healthy and happy, even if they may be a bit sheltered, than a kid who has been picked on every day of their life, is battling severe depression, and on the verge of suicide. I've been there. Most teen suicides are caused by school bullies and that sort of thing. The stress is simply not worth it. Bullying can make you a better person, but it can also ruin a person. I feel their are other ways to make someone a better person than putting them through that hell, that won't damper their spirits about themselves or others.

I have to agree that the outcome of homeschooling has a big influence on what the parents do or don't do. Yes, some homeschooling can have a bad name, but it seems that public schools often have an even worse name.

Crait, what about the students who are failing their own tests in public school? I think maybe they need to be homeschooled just to see how they do.

I honestly must say that I'm sorry you've seen a bad outcome of it, but I've seen a bad outcome from public schools. Each has it's drawbacks.

Amosunknown is right, the same testing is required for homeschoolers that the public school students take.

Personally, I'm 16 and do my school online from home, we considered homeschooling but my mom works several jobs so she can't be home all the time. I had a horrid time at public school and suffered severe depression, alternative schooling has done wonders for me, and I'm ahead of the people in my grade at the old school. well, except for math.

I think that if you are willing to learn the curriculum that you need to teach your child, then go for it. By this thread you're obviously a very caring mother and want to give your son the best, I'm sure you'll do fine.

 

[Backyard Buddies]

I think you and I agree more than you think, Amosunknown. The concern that I expressed was not that the OP wasn't teaching socialization, but EXACTLY that this particular child has had little opportunity to practice it. Unless I'm missing something in her post, he hasn't had much in the way of exposure to kids his own age - no siblings, no family his age, and they live away from town. Children and adults do react differently to one another and I believe wholly in the idea that kids often need to learn to work things out themselves. (Edited to add: . . with adult's keeping aware of any signs of bullying so that they can step in where appropriate).
It's a bit of that old adage that "practice makes perfect."

While you're correct that many of our forefather's were homeschooled, they also had quite regular interaction with peers. Most weren't only children as the OP's son. Society as a whole was interactive within a community, whether it be church or a barn raising. Just due to the sheer amount of work it took to survive, people had to work together.

So, my point is that somehow this child needs to receive that exposure. Since he hasn't had much up to this point, if the OP opts for homeschooling, she's going to have to find another way to make this work for him. This is going to take some work on her part since her area offers limited opportunity.