I'm a new mother and going out of my mind! help!

[Jolyn]

Quote:
Colic can strike any time. Most colicy babies have a pattern and will be colicy at about the same times every day. But its not specifically an evening problem.

Thank you for that info. Maybe if it affects her baby in the early part of the day Dad should be around on a Saturday and he can do the care. Just so he can see what she is talking about.

 

[purr]

I think there has been a ton of good advice so far I would just like to add that my DD was just like yours and one of the things I found that helped was I switched the rice cereal to oatmeal the rice just bound her up and she would scream and curl up her legs.
Another thing that helped was a baby massage with some soothing lotion or oil rubbing the tummy in a circle and like someone else said bending the knees slowly up and down.
Oh and I co-slept while I was nursing and then the doctor told me I was starving my daughter and told me to bottle feed, Back then there was no help for a nursing mother,26 yrs ago.
My DD is pregnant with her third and she co-slept with the first 2 ages 6 and 2 now , and both of them are in there own bed now and happy about it.They both woke up every 2 to 3 hrs to feed . when they were babies , we consider this normal exhausting but normal.
She is on the pregnancy.org boards and finds alot of support there.
Find some time to destress. When hubby gets home hand the baby over and tell him your taking a hot bath. And explain to him where the bread and peanut butter and jelly are. Honestly tell him I spent the last year and some months creating and sustaining a life
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE.

 

[tiffanyh]

I just want to say. At 5 months I found out my daughter that cried non stop and never slept through the night was lactose intolerant. Doctors swore up and down that wasnt what it was at my weekly appointment I would go to try to find out what was wrong with her, but she cried all the time, and all night and after contemplating running off to Mexico, I thought I would give Soy formula a quick try against the doctors advice, but on the advice of another mom with colic twin....IT WORKED. 24 hours later I had a different baby. Since that November she has slept though almost EVERY NIGHT!


They swore it was just colic but I had a feeling it was more. I finally went with my gut and it changed my life. She is 3 years now and still gets sick if she has ice cream without her lactaid. Switching her to Soy definatley wont hurt her and who knows, it may help. Some moms use Soy without ever trying the lactose based stuff.

GOod luck. We all understand!

 

[PearlD]

I have hesitated about putting my '2cents' in here, but it is a forum

.... so here goes:

First of all, don't let ANYONE talk you out of breastfeeding your baby. If that is your choice, then by all means GO FOR IT!
Secondly, I realize this post isn't just about breastmilk and something you ate. It's about a crying baby, it's about a stressed new mom, and its about finding relief from that stress. I urge you to hand your baby over to your husband, mother-in -law, best friend....anyone you trust wholeheartedly with your baby......and GET AWAY FOR 2 HOURS!!! Take a long bath. Shave your legs. Read a romance novel. Whatever it takes.
I'm not by any means trying to downplay what you are going through. I've been there. I wish I had picked my son up and let him sleep next to me, instead of taking advice from my mother (AKA: Dr. Spock) and letting him scream his lungs out night after night. Some kids NEVER sleep good. Some kids are always irritable. And some kids need more attention than others. Don't let the crying get to you too much. And don't forget to cry sometimes yourself!! And like someone already said, this WILL pass. All too soon, unfortunately.

But just stick to your gut feeling. Doctors don't always know everything, but sometimes..they do. It is YOUR RIGHT as a mother to pick and choose which pieces of that advice to heed........or to ignore. No one said it would be easy.......but hopefully, you have a supportive husband and family that would love nothing more than to hold that baby while you take a little break. I had a love/hate realationship with my breastpump that I will cherish forever..........

GOOD LUCK, & HANG IN THERE!!!!!!

 

[shortcake1806]

You've gotten so much wonderful information I can't imagine I could add anything more. I just wanted to reach out as a mother who's been there and give you a big cyber (((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))).

 

[me&thegals]

My heart goes out to you--it is so tough! My first baby developed colic for about 6 weeks. It is so hard! It feels hopeless and impossible to do good mothering when you're living in a sleep-deprived fog yourself...

I don't want to beat a dead horse, but I agree with the others about the possibility of lactose intolerance. I found I was intolerant before I got pregnant again. With him, I consumed dairy like crazy and he had constant huge amounts of gas. I was so determined to breastfeed that I refused to listen to anybody about anything in my diet. But, I wish I could do it over. My daughter (while I was dairy free) did just fine.

I hope you can find some respite. I imagine it's difficult for both you and your husband to adjust to this new life and all its demands. Don't feel ashamed to ask for the help you need. I wish I would have.

me&thegals

 

[summerwindsfarm]

I could never sleep soundly with my boys in the bed with me past the early infant stage. I would end up so sleep deprived once they started moving around in their sleep that i couldnt function. What worked best for me was to put the bassinett and later their crib next to my bed. That way i could roll over..pick them up..feed them and put them back to bed without really waking up. When i wasnt as dog tired ..like after early morning feedings id leave them in bed with me and doze and snuggle. With Joshs asthma i couldnt sleep unless i had my hand on his chest so that i KNEW i would wake up if he started breathing rougher. Poor kid.. no wonder he was anxious to leave my bed for his own lol.

With Preston he wanted to just be put to bed with his bear and hed go right to sleep. Our cabin is small so his baby bed is about 5 feet from our bed..even though its on the side of the cabin and our bed is in the middle. (we werent expecting a baby when we built the cabin lol). He started sleeping a 6 hour night by the time he was around 4 months old. When he was about 6 months old he started waking up in the middle of the night and would fuss .. id open one eye..say hey baby..its nite nite time..go back to sleep grandmas tired! And he would giggle, play with his toys and go back to sleep for a couple more hours. Now if i say..nite nite baby he will flop on the bed giggle and *fake* sleeping lol. For a long time he slept 12 hour nights..7 til 7. I swear hes the easiest kid. Now at 17 mo he thinks one 2 hour nap is enough and he sleeps from 9 til 8 like clockwork. Given the opportunity kids will adjust their sleep schedule to fit their need for sleep. I think one mistake new parents make is making everything sooo quiet while a newborn is sleeping. If theres noise around while they are tiny they just get used to sleeping through noise and then noises wont wake them up.

The key is doing what works for *you* and *her*..and thats different for every mother and her baby. If having her sleep with you works best and your comfortable with that..do it. If not..she'll adjust. Keep in mind that YOU need your sleep too.

Babies are really durable little things. There arent a lot of mistakes that you can make that cant be fixed. So often we worry about doing everything *just right* and we dont take time to enjoy them. Then poof..they are past that stage an we missed it!

 

[Crunchie]

Quote:
That is wonderful that you were able to sort out what was causing your daughter's problem, but your case was probably one in a million. Soy is a highly allergenic food and, for an infant, soy formula should only be resorted to after finding out without question that dairy is a problem. Lord knows I love the stuff, being a vegetarian tofu-loving freak

but...it is what it is! I have to disagree that "it won't hurt her."

 

[Dixiedoodle]

Lord, honey you need a break! Get your dh to watch her for a while. Any child can/does feel you stress and she will react to it.. Your husband probably feels less pressure and that's why she is not as fussy--and what else does he but cuddle, hold her?? She is getting his attention so she feel better--No really mystery to me..

Get away from anything with caffenee in it. cocoa, coffee, soft drinks, tea.she may be getting some of it..

If you add deluted white grape juice instead of milk to the ceral it might help.

Just a thought:

Is she gaining weight well?? My dd's friend's little girl--cried ALL the time.. Nursed every two hrs. --was NEVER happy and I am not kidding... After months, they took her to the dr. and she was not gaining weight as she should have.. They placed her on, Soy milk and she began to gain weight and with in two weeks she was sleeping thru the night.

I think I would take her in for a check up... We gave our grandson ' Gripe Water" it's all natural--fennel, ginger and other herbs.. It worked wonders for his gassy tummie..

Good luck..

 

[DuckyBoys]

Quote:
That is my solution as well. The SWING. Thank God for swings.

I also think you should feed the baby some food. Lots of food. 3 times a day if necessary. If you think formula is better then feed formula. Pressure to breastfeed should never be a mitigating factor in your decisions. Colostrum is the most important part anyway, and she got that right after she was born.

Tell your husband to plan his meals, including the shopping and prep work and you'll cook it up for him. Otherwise tell him if he knows what's good for him, zip it because a tired new mom is no one to mess with.

Hire a teen to help you clean up ONE day a week and then tell your hubby to get used to it. This is reality, not Desperate Housewives.

Last of all, enjoy her! Try and get some comfort and satisfaction out of comforting her. I know it is hard when you're running on 2 or 3 hours of sleep, but these days really will pass and one day you'll wonder where that little girl went.

Hang in there!