inconsiderate people rant

[egglicious]

Quote:
Now that I've been harshly judged, I know it is wrong to harshly judge.

All sarcasm aside, yeah, I know I'm being a jerk and being a coward by not communicating with them. But you know what? I feel safe being imperfect here at BYC. Very grateful to all those here that put up with me.

 

[desertdarlene]

Did they know you were coming? I can't imagine any good parent letting friends visit when their child is very ill unless it was a short visit. As for paying for dinner, I don't see anything wrong with accepting cash if it was offered. However, I do find it offensive if they invited you to dinner and then told you that you have to pay unless they had a good explanation.

 

[egglicious]

Quote:
That's sad about your mom's house. Unfortunately the cig smoke penetrates everything. On top of that it is sooooo hard to quit. Cigarettes are lame.

 

[rodriguezpoultry]

Not trying to judge...just stating how I would feel if I were your friends.



Let me put it this way...if your friends had issues with some of your lifestyle choices, wouldn't you want them to be truthful and forthcoming in their comments? By being truthful, you may be able to remove roadblocks to your friendship.

Just throwing this stuff out there...nobody is perfect.


ETA: Not trying to start any issues/flaming, just trying to give an alternate view, hope no feelings have been hurt. I'm off to bed. Night all!

 

[egglicious]

Quote:
They did know we were coming. We had planned it a few days prior. Maybe the holidays threw them off.

Also, I have noticed that some folks just don't feel the same way about illness that we do. Even at playgroup some people will bring a child that is obviously sick and thus infect everyone. It drives me nuts!

 

[Carols Clucks]

Let me point out some of the positives and maybe you will feel better:

First them being sick, being self employed or the only person in the office means no sick time for me, so I really HATE hanging out with sick people. BUT had they come to your house, you would have had to clean every surface they touched, and you can bet their child would have touched everything. So in the end, less work for you

Because of the distance, they might have wanted to stay with you over night had they come to your house!

Your husband must enjoy their company, so one of those things, better he wants you with him than leaves you home alone.

Since the house smells like wet dog, there is a chance their dog has some kind of skin issue, maybe caused by eating cheap dog food. Maybe they just can not afford better and can't pay for your meals too




Next time, ask they to meet you half way at the park for a potluck

 

[egglicious]

Quote:
Thanks, Carols Clucks. I do feel better. And I feel bad for dissing my friends here on the internet, but I was just so frustrated, not just about this but by a lot of things. I am actually supposed to be on sort of a vacation and we have had a pretty stressful time. It is not easy traveling with a toddler lol. And it genuinely hurts my feelings when people we love don't seem to love us the same way. My heart hurts for my husband mainly, because he is the most loyal person in the world and would do ANYTHING for his friends.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

If you have ever had a young child hospitalized for a contageous illness, that you KNOW had to have come from someone who was ill and should have, but didn't stay home and isolated while they were ill, you would not be giving any slack to the hosts. It is not fun watching your 18 month old in an oxygen tent struggling to breathe. That was a long time ago (he will be 26 in a couple of months), but it is still scary remembering.

Sometimes you don;t know that your child is ill or contageous (such as when my same son broke out with chicken pox the day after his 4th birthday party), but when symptoms of a respiratory or other contageous illlness are already manifesting, one should at the very least notify anyone planning on visiting about what is going on so thta they can make an informed decision.

The dog har really does not seem like an issue to me. Their home, and they are likely used to the hair and smell; probably do not even realize it.

Lots of people expect that each couple pays their own way on expenses. But it mostly depends on exactly how the invitation was worded.

Next time point blankly tell them that it is their turn to visit you. Simply be unavailable for anything else; "umm, sorry, we already have plans" or "we can't be so out of pocket then--we need to stay close to home for ___" Worst case is that the visit doesn't happen. Or maybe that is the best case.

 

[egglicious]

Quote:
That is totally how I feel regarding the illness thing. But I do know that many people don't. Still, it really bothered me.

I think you are totally right that they probably are completely unaware of the dog hair problem/smell because they are used to it. For me, it was shocking. It especially bugged me because my husband is extremely allergic and I was really worried about him while we were there!

 

[Mattemma]

If there is a next time when you go there you should jsut say," Oh my I see we came at a bad time since you are all sick." THEN IMMEDIATELY LEAVE.Staying in a dirty enclosed place with sick people pretty much ensures one of you will get ill. Boost your immune systems!

Forget the money they owe you. I loaned money.It is very rare to ever get it back.Call it a gift.....and don't gift again!

Yea,they should have paid,but they got you good when you offered.

I would not visit again.It sounds like one of those nasty family holiday visits we often torture ourselves with. I am amazed you all did this for friends. You could just comment to the wife that your dh had an allergy reaction to the dog hair, and recommend a product to help reduce hair in the home. It might get her to clean more. I find pet hair very hard to keep in check despite cleaning. I want to lion strip all the pets!

Also,you could mention that you would really appreciate warning of any illness in the future due to your child having a very rough time with any illness. I go through this yearly with the school because parents send their sick ones in due to whatever excuse.We had the worst time with flu,bronchitis,and pneumonia.The kids missed weeks,and on top of it I get attitude for keeping them home!

If there is a next time with these friends invite them over to your place.