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Irritating Out-Laws/Inlaws!!!

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by gmendoza, Nov 7, 2011.

  1. gmendoza

    gmendoza Songster

    Mar 23, 2010
    Rock Hill,SC
    Irritating isnt a strong enough word.

    My daughter wanted to go to Washington next year,but we (DW and I) decided it should be on merit so we told DD to have great grades. Well the outlaws heard of this and I got lectured for a whole d*** hour on why it shouldnt be based on grades!!!

    Well after this ear-bleeding talk I said I will base it on good behavior. [​IMG]

    Well DD had lied 3 times in one day about some school stuff and said I lied making up lies. I didnt so she got punished.Her Washington trip got taken away,along with cpu priveleges for two weeks and a lenghtly list of chores.

    DD told me yesterday she understands and that she knew it was based on goo behavior and she was bad( her words). So she was down with it,I was.....but my outlaws are furious now. [​IMG]

    My out-laws says its wrong punishment and she should be able to go. Wait a flippin minute here!! I am the parent along with DW. [​IMG] [​IMG]

    Who here agrees with what I did?

    Besides Washington DC is just a bunch of tombs and cemetaries right??? [​IMG]

    Just ranting [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2011

  2. chics in the sun

    chics in the sun Songster

    Apr 1, 2010
    Stick to your guns, and tell them to mind their own buisness. You should have stuck to the trip being contingent on grades. When you backed off that you just encouraged them to keep sticking their noses in where it doesnt belong! It sounds like you are doing a great job parenting without their "help".
  3. they'reHISchickens

    they'reHISchickens Songster

    Oct 31, 2008
    I don't think we have near enough info to make that kind of decision on here.
    How old is she and what grade is she in?
    Are her grades normally good?
    Is she an habitual liar?
    Is this a school sanctioned special trip that EVERYONE is going on?
    How badly does she really want to go?
    Lots of variables here and I'd want to know a lot more before venturing an opinion.
  4. conny63malies

    conny63malies Crowing

    Mar 22, 2008
    Annetta Kentucky
  5. Sonoran Silkies

    Sonoran Silkies Flock Mistress

    Jan 4, 2009
    Tempe, Arizona
    First, I would have encouraged you to allow her the opportunity to visit our nation's capital if at all possible. I can be a wonderful experience. However, once you, the parent, have set conditions upon going, it is up to you and her mother. Your in-laws and your parents had the opportunity to raise their children as they chose; now it is your turn to raise yours as you choose. The one question you need to consider is whether you are your wife are in agreement. This is the kind of decision that needs to be a joint decision, not just one parent's opinion (unless only one parent has custody).

    How did your in-laws even find out about it, or that your DD had misbehaved and trip permission was revoked? TheyreHISchickens has some valid points.
  6. michelle89

    michelle89 Songster

    Jan 11, 2011
    First off I think what you did is the right thing to do. IMO there should be more parents like you!! My kids are 21 and 19 and if I could go back and change some things I would! Kids don't come with instructions and you learn as you go, kids these days need to take responsibility for their actions, instead of blaming society ect....Keep up the good work and stick to your guns, don't be bullied by the in-laws. Its your kid not theres and you know whats best!!
  7. cravenchx

    cravenchx Songster

    Aug 7, 2011
    Piedmont of NC
    You are the parents! I believe DD thought her
    grandparents would bail her out. Please don't
    let that happen. That would be a terrible thing
    to start. The grandparents need to know their
    place. It may cause some hard feelings, but they
    can get over it....well you know the rest.
    And yes. DC is a wonderful place to visit, but
    I wouldn't want to live there![​IMG]

  8. M.sue

    M.sue Songster

    May 29, 2011
    Well from the posts I've read I also think there needs to be more on the DD...grades, habitual liar, special school trip, snotty, disrespectful etc.... But being a parent and having 2 very strong willed children I have learned very fast that once you state a threat of loss privileges as disciplinary actions you need to stick to your guns for if you don't they will learn what makes you & what brakes you. Yes it is fine and normal to give into the consequences once in a great while. We all say & do things out of anger and frazzled thinking. I do feel strongly that the punishment should fit the crime. I also learned you need to hit them (not physically) were it hurts. The loss of something to one child might have a great impact while the same loss might have no affect on the other child.
    As for the in-laws butting their nose in......they need to respect your decisions & actions. Tell them when you need their parenting advice you'll ask them. Let them know you are the parent and you are very capable of reasonably disciplining your own children. My M-I-L had a habit of doing so and one day I just came right out and told her so. I said it nicely but very firmly & bluntly.....she got the point!!
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2011
  9. Souperchicken

    Souperchicken Songster

    Jan 18, 2009
    USA- Southwest
    You did the right thing by not letting MIL sway you just because she disapproves, when you did what you thought/knew was best.
    I'm always telling my kids that unless it is dangerous, destructive, or inappropriate not to tattle. I think the same goes with minding ones own business and giving an opinion, It is obvious MIL needs to stay out of it, but it might be hard to convince her of that.
    The only thing I would add is just be careful not to set kids up for failure. Having good behavior for a year can be unrealistic for some children, depending on their age and personality, not sure how old your daughter is.
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2011
  10. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    You know what? They are YOUR kids and YOU raise them and to heck with anyone outside the marriage that gives you grief. If you are not harming the physically or mentally, which you are not, the I say stick with it. It doesn't matter if I agree with you or not. They are your children. You make the decisions.

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