Is it me or is this just plain rude?

[maple]

It's ok. I understand.

 

[punk-a-doodle]

Guilt tripping is so not cool. Something like, "I'm sorry, but I typically need more advanced notice to plan for events" is one possible answer, or "if -cousin's name- has misunderstood my reasons for not attending, I would be happy to talk to her. It really does not involve you though", etc.

 

[pdsavage]

Robin'sBrood :

I asked my 13 year old if he wanted to go and he already had plans with his friends so we won't be attending this year. I guess my frustration today is really with my mother who will make me feel guilty for not making my son go to the party... I'm just venting in advance.

Just tell your mom if she is so worried about it then send invites sooner or go herself...​

 

[goobhen]

You brought up the reason I detest FB!! If I get an invite on FB, you may get an answer two weeks after you sent it. If it is so important to invite me.......call me or send an email or snail mail..... My best friend informed me of her first grandchild on FB, I told her after 20+ years of friendship deserved more than a FB posting IMHO. Told her if she had something important to tell me either pick up the phone or text me.....or don't expect anything from me!!

 

[rebelcowboysnb]

Anything my family does usually gets you 24 hours notice or less.

 

[Royd]

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Is it a Sept. 11th party or your son's 4 BD or both? Honestly, throwing a bash for a 4 year old is setting yourself up for a lifetime of over the top events, every time some special little anniversary happens, and a whole lot of grief, if you suddenly decide to say, "Enough, already."

 

[calicokat]

Sounds like rude to me. But it also sounds like this is typical for her, so don't waste time getting worked up. She is the way she is, just expect it, make your polite response and move on.

I do feel for you. My DH's side of the family is notorious for last minute invites because they don't send them directly to us, they give it to MIL to get to us. Usually it sits at MIL's house waiting for our next visit (seriously, 44 cents, would it kill ya? LOL) But I've accepted that, this is just the way they do it. Just RSVP and move on. After 20+ years it just rolls off my back now. I don't take it personally, I just get on with my day. I nearly fell over when we got a mailed invite for neice's Graduation and Open House this past May, LOL.

The analogy I once heard is that you go sit under a tree with birds in it. They poo on you. You get mad at the birds --- but, you sat under the tree and the birds were just doing what birds do, it wasn't personal against YOU. It's just what they do. Now, you are more than welcome to change your behavior - ie. don't sit under the tree, or in this case, just RSVP and move on with the rest of your day.

 

[sgtmom52]

Robin'sBrood :

I have a first cousin who has 2 kids. Every year she plans a birthday party for them and every year she sends the invitation to me last minute via my mother. I just find it extremely rude that she can't either send an actual invitation to us or pick up the phone and call me herself. On Thursday night I got a facebook "event" invitation for her 14 year old daughter's party for TODAY! Keep in mind that I have a 16 month old and he is normally napping at 2:00. Here is what was sent...

C has finally decided to have her birthday party this Sat. at 2:00 p.m. It's a pool party so suit up

Hope you all can come!

How would you feel about this?​

I think that your cousin needs to learn some manners when it comes to issuing invitations ~ however it appears that this is not unusual for her and if the time of the event doesn't suit you, simply decline the invitation. You might want to let her know that you need more than a 2 days notice to make plans.

As for the time of the party ~ 2 pm for a teen's pool party is not inappropriate and they should not have to schedule her party around your baby's nap time.​

 

[Chinchilla2]

I consider it rude and disrespectful behavior to you, especially since this appears to be a continuing habit from the cousin. And while many may consider a FB invite to be appropriate, since we are talking family, a phone call would have worked better. Even if that call came in last minute. Granted that this may be a thrown together at the last minute type of party but there is evidence that they were planning it to start with, just not sure what the date and/or location would be by the way the invite was written. This means that there was at least a week where she could have extended you a head's up so you could make tentative plans to be there. Personally, I would FB back and say "Sorry, can't come. We received an invite to a different party three weeks ago and already made plans" to at least hint at the lack of warning with the family invite.

My sister and mom used to do the same thing with me, call me up the day before or the morning of a family thing they had planned out. I dropped everything the first three-four times and went but finally decided to put my foot down. The last time they did that, I showed up in a black dress toting a funeral wreath and a "Congratulations on the New Baby!" balloon. Both my mom and her met me at the door to ask what the heck (they used a different word) I was thinking and I proceeded to tell them that next time they invited me to a party, they best do it two weeks or more in advance or make sure either one of them had a baby or died. Since Mom was a bit old for a new kid and my sister had a tubal the year before, their choices were extremely limited. My husband (who was willing to wear a tie to help me make the point) and I then headed out for a night on the town since we had already splurged on a sitter. Not having the kids with us also drove the point home since it was a birthday party for one of my nephews, one I had been told the week before my sister was going to hold off his b-day party for a week since that would place the party during Father's day weekend and make it easier for everyone to come.

At least I got my point across. For the last seven years, I have known well in advance of any party plans.

 

[farmdude]

X2!
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