It's not a big thing but I'm crying.

[sfw2]

I'm flying over to the UK, next month, to visit my parents. My dad will turn 80 while I'm there. I know how it feels to have your aging parents so far away. At least my eldest brother lives near them, and keeps an eye on them.

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[b.hromada]

Heres a few hugs.

 

[gritsar]

I talked with my dad today. He was very confused. For some reason he always wants to think of me as his sister. He was asking me alot of questions about things he insisted I should know about, but they happened before I was even born.

Much as I hate to, I'm going to have to give my step-sister a call this evening. We need to discuss Dad moving to the nursing home or at least getting on the waiting list.

 

[Momagain1]

many prayers! Such a hard transition!!! for everyone! I used to work with the mentally disabled in the nursing home..I <3'd them!

If you have any questions abotu nursing home stuff; I'd love to help! There are lots of good questions to ask them before you put him in there, if you do!

Hugs hon!

 

[gritsar]

Quote:
Thanks so much. I'm very comfortable with this nursing home since Dad was in it for two weeks while recovering from surgery back in 2006. He likes it there and the staff are some great folks.

 

[annie3001]

just found your post here, maybe i missed it at fb. sorry.

many virtual hugs!

 

[gritsar]

Quote:
Thanks Andrea. I didn't post it on FB, but my sister did.
I had a long talk with my dad today and just awhile got off the phone with my stepsis. She reassured me on some things I was concerned about with dad, but I still feel guilty that I'm not there taking care of him.

 

[Sir Birdaholic]

More hugs for ya today, Gritty!

 

[nanawendy]

gritsar... just bumped into this thread. I'm not usually in this section but was impressed to take a look. Your heart pull is one alot of us boomers have. We have relocated or the folks have, and the logistics are getting in the way of what we...the daughters... want and need to do. No one can quit understand the internal pull, the need to give back, the desire to make it all better... like they did when we were dependent on them. These feelings will wax and wane continually... get ready , your going to have a bumpy ride. May I suggest a few things.? Get some info on Alzheimer's. Your dad may or may not have the beginnings of this disruptive disease... having the info will help with YOUR clarity. Not just clinical info but family stories that become inspirational. It helps to know others have this conflict too. When mom fell last fall (oh ha ha) I traveled on the train for 18 hours then took a taxi for another hour and a half. All the time in a panic, because I didn't know what I was walking into. But yet excited because I knew I could give the service w/ love to mom and dad that I gave to others, that were close~but not my folks( does that make sense?) When I walked in my breath was taken away, It had been so long since I had seen them and this accident took a toll on both of them. Then I put my head down said a quick prayer and got to work.
I had family @ home that depended on me, I couldn't afford it (dad had to pay for the train) My husband and son who has special needs had to step up. I missed all of them so much. But it was so worth trip. They truly had no one else. and I did make a difference, but didn't know for sure until I was there in the trenches. And to end this very long post It did as much for me as it did for them. I am still struggling w/ that inner pull. And I'm ticked ;x Things aren't different like other families. But... it is what it is... I will go again this fall (after the harvest) and bake, cook and clean for them, but not before I listen to moms recollections and dad frustration... Then I'll show them pictures, brush moms hair,and cry in my heart @ the lost moments because of this day and age. Gritsar You are not alone and you are in my prayers. You have to make YOUR dissension based on your reality. Good luck

 

[ladyride]

Many thoughts & prayers for you gritsar , this is truly a long road you are walking now . Talk to him as often as you can send him short letters those things bring a brightness in his life.