It's official, I hate that dog.

[Bettacreek]

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Actually, thank you for saying this. I've felt the same way to be honest. I love the man and he is great, but, the lack of respect drives me up the wall. When I say that I don't want the dog on the bed, that I don't want my pillows to smell like dog, he should respect that, instead of saying "well, take your pillows off the bed then". He's creating a festering hatred between the dog and I. I don't want to sound foolish for hating a dog, but, it really gets under your skin when a dog has more respect from the boyfriend than you do.
He arrived home just a bit ago, I asked if he saw the dog. What do I get? "Well, how long did you have her out for?" I finally told him to stop blaming me for the dog, if anything, it's just as much his fault for teaching her that she does not have to listen to me. *Sigh* I'm going to sit him down and make him read this. I'll probably be back for more tips on how to re-train the dog. Thanks guys!

 

[Wifezilla]

hmmm....if he does this with the dog....what happens with the kids? He may let you have the last word with YOUR kids, but I'm betting that if you have any together, you may find they become just as bad as the dog....and for the same reason! NOBODY should be above you in pack order/family order in his eyes. Otherwise he lacks respect for you. And if you don't have respect for one another above all else, what DO you have? Certainly not a happy relationship or a happy life.

Just a thought.

Rusty

Dead on.

The dog isn't the cause of the problems. The dog issue is a symptom of a much deeper problem.​

 

[luvzmybabz]

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Unfortunately, as someone else mentioned, the boyfriend needs trained in that before I can do anything. When I tell her something, he overrides me and lets her do it anyways... Another part of the reason I can hardly stand the dog. It's just a bad situation, and the boyfriend certainly isn't helping it any. So, now, how to train the boyfriend AND the dog at the same time?

Men will do this overriding junk....and then when THEY have to deal with the bad behavior they are so suprized Helllo.....I go through this on a daily basis both with our dogs cats and human babies My husband spoils I have to be the %$&?! and then the act out when he is in charge I have finally stopped biting my tongue and told him I told you so and the next time you go againist my decission you will pay the consequqences not them.

 

[Bettacreek]

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Unfortunately, as someone else mentioned, the boyfriend needs trained in that before I can do anything. When I tell her something, he overrides me and lets her do it anyways... Another part of the reason I can hardly stand the dog. It's just a bad situation, and the boyfriend certainly isn't helping it any. So, now, how to train the boyfriend AND the dog at the same time?

Men will do this overriding junk....and then when THEY have to deal with the bad behavior they are so suprized Helllo.....I go through this on a daily basis both with our dogs cats and human babies My husband spoils I have to be the %$&?! and then the act out when he is in charge I have finally stopped biting my tongue and told him I told you so and the next time you go againist my decission you will pay the consequqences not them.

Lmao. I like the idea of making him pay the consequences! I am lucky enough that the boyfriend usually listens when I tell him something. He makes a point to try to fix things with me if I tell him straight up that things need to change.

So, hopefully, now that I've said something, he'll be on board with me, not against me. Otherwise, I'm with you, HE'LL be the one to undo the damage.

 

[Jess N Jeff]

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I totally agree!!!
Same thing happened when my boyfriend moved in. My dogs wanted nothing to do with him. Would not listen to him at all. I started reading Ceaser Milan(?) books and he states the same thing. IT WORKED COMPLETELY!!!

 

[Bantimna]

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Ditto,

 

[Cara]

I have to say, I feel pretty bad for the dog. She's acting like an aggravating attention-seeking child because she doesn't know where she fits in. Her best friend is now someone else's best friend instead and she spends the majority of her time with someone who doesn't like her. It made my heart sink to read that she wants to join in playing with the kids and gets in trouble. She wants to fit in and be included.

I understand her behaviour would be frustrating to deal with, but dogs aren't spiteful animals. They have limited ways of expressing the fact that their needs aren't being met. And I don't think it's your fault

 

[Silkiefan]

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KEEP THE DOG... you can retrain her... the man though...

 

[Akane]

Honestly if someone has a problem with my dog I get rid of the person not the dog. If someone can't figure out how to be above my dog again I get rid of the person not the dog. However this is reversed. He still can't properly train and be fair with the dog even though it's his dog instead of yours. I had a boyfriend that would have pulled that stuff and tried to when I got a puppy. Things went very much downhill until I no longer trusted him and he gave my puppy some issues that took another year to fully work through. No freaking way I'd have kids around someone who would use an animal like that. When I got married my very spoiled but very obedient dog had to come to terms. If he gives a command she still has a tendency to ignore him which I occasionally laugh about but do reinforce the command. He took her to dog classes and I took his puppy to dog classes. They learned to go in crates when we were gone and overall dogs don't go on the bed even though his is much smaller and fits fine on the bed. If there wasn't compromise and agreement we'd be back to step 1. No more significant other. We do have an issue over a cat that was mine but we've both come to dislike the cat and I've tried to find her another home since she keeps peeing on his stuff.

My advise would actually be that he's only going to get worse and you are only going to have more issues. If you want to try to make it work though my advice is opposite most people. Everything said previously works great if he's willing to help but if not then stop interacting with the dog as much. Unless he backs you up and you reach an agreement or you start spending lots of time with the dog such as classes and training sessions at home so you become above him in it's eyes then it's not likely to improve any time soon. You are only going to cause problems doing half the work that's required and the dog will eventually get injured or reported and taken by animal control if it keeps running off. It's entirely irresponsible to let a dog out of the house off leash when it's likely to run off. If someone does try to injure the dog or a child does something stupid and it bites the person/parents are not going to be in trouble. The dog will be pts and you could be in trouble including some impressive fines in some areas. When he's gone and you are not prepared to deal with the dog then it should be treated like no one is home and if it messes in the house it should be confined to a room, pen, or crate just like would be required if it did it while no one is home. During the day shut the door to the bedroom and don't let the dog on the bed when you are laying in it. Eventually an unwanted behavior can be broken by just not giving the opportunity for it to happen without trying to discipline or counter it in other ways. Every time a behavior you dislike is repeated though you've only made it more likely to happen again and every time it's repeated despite a command you only reinforce not listening to everything you say. You are shooting yourself in the foot by attempting to interact with the dog when you can't enforce a command. Doing nothing is better than doing something you can't back up. Only interact with the dog when you are capable of backing up a command or stopping a bad behavior.

 

[aggieterpkatie]

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I feel the same way. I had my dog for many years (he was almost 10) before I met hubby. If hubby hated my dog, hubby would have to go. Someone who isn't willing to accept my dog that I've had for almost 10 years isn't worthy of my time. That said, I wouldn't just let the dog walk all over someone, I would truly try to make things work. If my hubby had even *considered* telling someone to keep my dog or shoot it, he'd be LONG GONE.