Just Need a Rant (Trigger Warning)

[Willowhisp]

I am sad to see you suffering so much. It's important that you understand that depression is a liar. Your mind can convince you that things won't ever get better and that's very discouraging. But having a feeling that you are xyz does not make it true. And you can ask yourself if it's true or if your thinking is distorted due to other things. As far as support it's important that you go to people capable of giving you the support you need. I'm sure your mom loves you but it doesn't mean that she can support you. And you are dealing with a lot of things she may simply not have any frame of reference about.
Please keep reaching out to your psychiatrist and consider some behavior therapy. They work best together. The medicine helps you feel stable and then a good clinician can help you develop the tools to give yourself the support and comfort you deserve.

My mother is a narcissist and unless it benefits her or her self image in some way, it doesn't matter. She only loves herself and only cares if it directly effects her. As long as we look like "One happy family" from the outside, she doesn't care.

 

[Mrs J]

*sigh* alas that is my boyfriends logic as well.
I've been trying, which is difficult when my mother says that I'm not doing nearly enough and threatens to call the police on me and/or kick me out, and/or try to sabotage my relationship in someway... but I'm actually feeling better now, heh, about half an hour of just being held in silence by my squishy and one of my anxiety pills for my "in the moment" triggers has helped along with all the support on here...

See…a problem shared..don’t ever let things build up, always reach out, it takes strength to let your guard down like you have done! Sending you lots of hugs! Keep us updated, wether it’s a good day, bad day, keep in touch x

 

[629522]

My mother is a narcissist and unless it benefits her or her self image in some way, it doesn't matter. She only loves herself and only cares if it directly effects her. As long as we look like "One happy family" from the outside, she doesn't care.

That's the nature of narcissists. She finds security based on the perceptions of other people. Knowing that about her is valuable because you know that she is not capable of caring about you and supporting you the way you need due to her diagnosis. And knowing that means you will look elsewhere and it will save you immeasurable heartache. But family doesn't mean just people who share your lineage. It can be anyone in your life you value and who values you.

 

[sourland]

That's the nature of narcissists. She finds security based on the perceptions of other people. Knowing that about her is valuable because you know that she is not capable of caring about you and supporting you the way you need due to her diagnosis. And knowing that means you will look elsewhere and it will save you immeasurable heartache. But family doesn't mean just people who share your lineage. It can be anyone in your life you value and who values you.

"Friends are the family we make for ourselves."

 

[Willowhisp]

"Friends are the family we make for ourselves."

And that is going into my book of quotes

 

[Mrs J]

That's the nature of narcissists. She finds security based on the perceptions of other people. Knowing that about her is valuable because you know that she is not capable of caring about you and supporting you the way you need due to her diagnosis. And knowing that means you will look elsewhere and it will save you immeasurable heartache. But family doesn't mean just people who share your lineage. It can be anyone in your life you value and who values you.

I would of thought that was a bit harsh except I have a mother like that myself. Some ppl just aren’t maternal I have kids now, and it’s unconditional love. I have learned from my mothers mistakes @Willowhisp you have your whole life ahead of you, as @sourland said, don’t let this define you, don’t let other ppls perceptions or ignorance drag you down, be yourself and you will find happiness x

 

[Mrs J]

 

[Lacy Duckwing]

@Willowhisp, here's the trailer to a really good movie:

It's based on a true story of someone's life. Maybe you'd be interested in watching it.

 

[Mrs J]

@Willowhisp, here's the trailer to a really good movie:

It's based on a true story of someone's life. Maybe you'd be interested in watching it.

I’ll be watching that

 

[629522]

I would of thought that was a bit harsh except I have a mother like that myself. Some ppl just aren’t maternal I have kids now, and it’s unconditional love. I have learned from my mothers mistakes @Willowhisp you have your whole life ahead of you, as @sourland said, don’t let this define you, don’t let other ppls perceptions or ignorance drag you down, be yourself and you will find happiness x

My intent was not to sound harsh, or even judgemental. Sometimes narcissistic tendencies are born out of trauma. Imagine your parents or the people you trust never being there for you. You become very independent and never develop relationship skills or empathy because it was never shown to you. It's very sad but people are often a product of their environment. But hopefully we can as you did choose a different way. I don't have children but I think I am very maternal, it shows up in my occupation and of course my insane love for all these chickens