Life is changing for us, and it is not for a positive reason

[Chickerdoodle13]

Sorry to hear that news Deb. I think spending as much positive time together would be a great thing for you both.

I may have missed it as I haven't been on BYC or Facebook very much at all, but are you or Ken seeing a therapist by any chance? After working in a counseling center for nearly five years, I am a HUGE advocate of the positive benefits counseling can provide, and I think it may really be beneficial for you guys. Hopefully you won't take this suggestion offensively, as I don't mean it to be at all. I also apologize if it's already been mentioned or discussed. Even though you and Ken are very close, it seems you are both thoroughly stressed and this can make it very difficult to discuss things with each other, even when you just feel like you need to burst! Having a third party to vent to and who can give advice about handling stress is a great thing.

I do wish the best for you and Ken, and if you ever need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to send me a message. (I know you have a huge online support system, but I am always willing to help out a friend when needed)

 

[debilorrah]

Sorry to hear that news Deb. I think spending as much positive time together would be a great thing for you both.

I may have missed it as I haven't been on BYC or Facebook very much at all, but are you or Ken seeing a therapist by any chance? After working in a counseling center for nearly five years, I am a HUGE advocate of the positive benefits counseling can provide, and I think it may really be beneficial for you guys. Hopefully you won't take this suggestion offensively, as I don't mean it to be at all. I also apologize if it's already been mentioned or discussed. Even though you and Ken are very close, it seems you are both thoroughly stressed and this can make it very difficult to discuss things with each other, even when you just feel like you need to burst! Having a third party to vent to and who can give advice about handling stress is a great thing.

I do wish the best for you and Ken, and if you ever need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to send me a message. (I know you have a huge online support system, but I am always willing to help out a friend when needed)

We have discussed counseling, however, we do not have a problem with each other. The two of us are not struggling with each other at all. I am going to look into grief counseling at church and he can go too if he wants, but I am not going to make him. Sometimes he needs to find his own way to deal with things.

We are not stressed out with each other at all. I understand how he feels, and he lets me cry and yell if I need to - we get it. We ARE thoroughly stressed, but we have no issues discussing things with each other. We have been together 4 1/2 years and have never had a knock down drag out fight. Somehow we have managed all this time walking away, and talking calmly.

Lauren you are by far one of my favorite people. I appreciate you and your support. Do you realize we have known each other almost 4 years now???

I KNOW I need grief counseling as I have no idea where to put my rage, anger, sadness, emotions, etc.

 

[Chickerdoodle13]

I think grief counseling would be a great thing Debi. I was mostly thinking individual counseling would be more beneficial for you guys anyway (That way if Ken doesn't want to go, you can still go). If your church offers a free service than that is a good route to take. Therapy CAN be super expensive, but there are quite a few other alternatives out there as well. Just know that if you don't feel comfortable with the person you start to see after a few sessions, it is perfectly ok to switch or ask for someone new. One major thing people do in regards to counseling is write it off if they don't get along with the first person they speak to. But really, finding the right counselor is a lot like buying a house! You may have to see a few before you find one that really fits.

It is great that you guys can talk to each other about anything. That is really important!

Stress can cause a lot of other additional health problems, which is why I always tell people to take care of that too (This coming from someone who is stressed pretty much ALL the time!). From personal experience, I see a huge difference in my blood glucose readings when I am stressed. They just bounce all over the place. I'm sure stress does similarly alarming things to non-diabetics as well. Unfortunately, we can't always control the things that stress us out, but we can control how we handle the stress. Hopefully, if you do see a grief counselor, or any counselor, you will have a similar experience to the one I had when I went to see one before graduation at my college. I went mostly because I was curious, but also to see if they could help me manage the stress I was feeling about my type 1 diabetes and also the stress of graduating and having to be successful. My counselor was wonderful. He mostly just let me talk or an hour and gave me a few tips here and there, but I would leave the office feeling refreshed, and happy, and like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Even though I had always worked in the office, I still felt counseling was a bit taboo until I did it myself.

I can't believe it has been 4 years already! And awww *blush* You are certainly one of my favorite people as well!

I know it is really, really difficult to feel positive when it seems the bad news is relentless, but as long as you and Ken are willing to fight for life, there is always a chance. He is so lucky to have support like you in his life.

 

[Carols Clucks]

Deb,

I know you have set a date for your wedding, but if health is moving faster, maybe you could move that up to 6 months before and celebrate every 6 month anniversary. Might be that a celebration is what everyone needs.

 

[debilorrah]

Deb,

I know you have set a date for your wedding, but if health is moving faster, maybe you could move that up to 6 months before and celebrate every 6 month anniversary. Might be that a celebration is what everyone needs.

His divorce will not be final until October. Him and her have stalled for YEARS for no reason. And now there is a reason and it seems the stupid 6 month waiting period is in the way.

 

[debilorrah]

I am just soooo discombobulated right now. I know what I FEEL and that is mad, sad, I wanna throw things, like ugly coffee cups that I have always hated. But that only means I have to clean up. So I refrain.

I want to kick his son in butt because he never calls or comes over and he is about a 5 minute drive from here. His wife is pregnant and out partying. I have said more than once, if that kid is born with issues I am sending her *** to jail!!!!

We have $20 to our name. Money is up and down for us. Right now? DOOOOWWWWN. No chicken feed, I scooped the last of it tonight. Gonna have to forage for fruit and veggie scrapes tomorrow. Scooped. HAHA! More like scraped the bottom of the barrel.

BUT! God has a plan for us, for me. And I trust in that, and I know that somehow, some way, it will all be ok. Knowledge does not help the stress level.

 

[Carols Clucks]

Sorry Deb, I did not realize you had to wait that clock out (trust me I understand that what took (is taking) you so long to finish up long past old business.....)


Hmm <evil grin> what about Utah...lol (Don't throw stuff at me all you Utah folk...I am just kidding)

 

[debilorrah]

Sorry Deb, I did not realize you had to wait that clock out (trust me I understand that what took (is taking) you so long to finish up long past old business.....)


Hmm <evil grin> what about Utah...lol (Don't throw stuff at me all you Utah folk...I am just kidding)

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!

 

[debilorrah]

Carol, I SOOOO needed that tonight! Thank you!

 

[debilorrah]

Ok, well I am feeling a bit less defeated tonight than I was last night. We had a good evening with friends. Our new Syrian friends, and they always something different to introduce to my taste buds. Tonight it was Yerba Mate. Some mix of herbs and leaves and steeped in hot water and sipped through a special straw. It LOOKS disgusting, but tastes like really strong green tea. You can see the spoon is actually a straw and the base of the spoon is a sieve. Trust me you don't get any gunk in your mouth and it is really good.