Losing My Job

As a young widow & mother of two young sons I completely relate with what is happening to you.
I am a chef, and I am sure you can imagine how well my career has gone since my kids, not the restaurant, have to come first.
I used to be able to justify 50/60 hour weeks as "part of the job", they were with a parent.... I can no longer justify those hours, or how exhausted a long day makes me. They need a parent who is engaged & reliable. All the time. Since I am the only option, it has to be me.

It has been hard to find a job that strikes a balance between what I love to do & what is best for my family. I have suffered financially, emotionally, my pride has suffered. But, I advise you to stick to your guns, make them fire you & pay the unemployment. SSI payments alone are NOT enough to live on. Though quite helpful.
I am sure that future employers will be aghast at what your current job is doing to you. Just be up front & 100% honest at all of your interviews. It may make it harder to find a job, but improve your chances of finding the right fit.

I don't think life ever returns to "normal" after you lose a spouse, but I wish you luck in defining a new normal, and I hope it is even better than the old version.
 
Found out today that health insurance runs out at the end of the school year if I resign...

The union guy was supposed to meet with the superintendent today, but superintendent had a heart attack yesterday and had to undergo an emergency triple bypass this morning.

I'm just getting the feeling that resignation is the way to go despite the negatives. Principal called me in to her office today to see who she needs to address the social security letter to.

I work in 2 different buildings (again, reason for no prep and no lunch) and the principal who is the main culprit in trying to have me dismissed, well ... come to find out today that HER school is in the bottom 5% in Michigan and there will be a state takeover in the fall.

Again, the signs and omens seem to be telling me to resign, that something will work out in the end.
 
you know, it sounds like you have your mind made up to resign, but I would make them fire me. That way you get unemployment. Even if you qualify for SSI you are losing your job because THEY want you gone not because you want to leave. You dont have another job lined up and in this economy are not likely to find one fast...LISTEN to everyone here that has told you to make them fire you. There is such a thing as COBRA for your health benefits.

Once they fired me, I would be talking to a lawyer about wrongful termination and persuing it based on the Americans with Disabilities act. IF your boss acknowledged that you have an issue with depression and did nothing to accomodate your needs, they may be in a lot of trouble and you might have a case.

If you resign, you are giving them what they want...which is to not have their unemployment insurance go up since you will not be able to file a claim.

you are gonna get screwed in this deal, might as well get what you can out of it, while you can.
 
How many employees are there in the district? You may be able to file for F.M.L.A. leave (if you have not already used your time up) and at the very least be able to draw a paycheck while you get counseling. Then try to return to work.

TOMORROW I would insist that a grievance be filed for hostile work environment, and harassment. This will help you in the future if you pursue legal action.


As urban escapee said, you may have an ADA case as well.


Without seeing your contract I cannot give more advice. I have fought a few of these cases and always had a favorable outcome.
 
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How many employees are there in the district? You may be able to file for F.M.L.A. leave (if you have not already used your time up) and at the very least be able to draw a paycheck while you get counseling. Then try to return to work.

TOMORROW I would insist that a grievance be filed for hostile work environment, and harassment. This will help you in the future if you pursue legal action.


As urban escapee said, you may have an ADA case as well.


Without seeing your contract I cannot give more advice. I have fought a few of these cases and always had a favorable outcome.
FMLA is a good option if you're eligible. Instead of quitting you can have your doctor put you out of work for the depression and then they can't fire you while you are out. My supervisor at my last job did this every time she started to get the feeling that were about to fire her (they fired a lot of people for random reasons there.) But my case is that while you are out it is illegal for them to fire you and it can work to your advantage while you are getting better. I think that it is the depression talking when you say you just want to resign. It is really hard to find work out there right now and resigning could be a decision that you regret later. Only you can make the best decision for your situation, but coming from someone who has had depression/post partum depression I know that feeling of just wanting to give up and I have always regretted it later when I was better. Like I said before... this just my two cents and you have to make the best decision for you. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best.


you know, it sounds like you have your mind made up to resign, but I would make them fire me. That way you get unemployment. Even if you qualify for SSI you are losing your job because THEY want you gone not because you want to leave. You dont have another job lined up and in this economy are not likely to find one fast...LISTEN to everyone here that has told you to make them fire you. There is such a thing as COBRA for your health benefits.

Once they fired me, I would be talking to a lawyer about wrongful termination and persuing it based on the Americans with Disabilities act. IF your boss acknowledged that you have an issue with depression and did nothing to accomodate your needs, they may be in a lot of trouble and you might have a case.

If you resign, you are giving them what they want...which is to not have their unemployment insurance go up since you will not be able to file a claim.

you are gonna get screwed in this deal, might as well get what you can out of it, while you can.


This is really good advice. And while there is COBRA for insurance it is VERY expensive (at least it always has been whenever I've been offered it.)
 
FMLA is a good option if you're eligible. Instead of quitting you can have your doctor put you out of work for the depression and then they can't fire you while you are out. My supervisor at my last job did this every time she started to get the feeling that were about to fire her (they fired a lot of people for random reasons there.) But my case is that while you are out it is illegal for them to fire you and it can work to your advantage while you are getting better. I think that it is the depression talking when you say you just want to resign. It is really hard to find work out there right now and resigning could be a decision that you regret later. Only you can make the best decision for your situation, but coming from someone who has had depression/post partum depression I know that feeling of just wanting to give up and I have always regretted it later when I was better. Like I said before... this just my two cents and you have to make the best decision for you. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best.

My dad did this when he got wind his job was going to be replaced by a computer. He got put out so he could have back surgery (old injury) Turns out it saved his life though. While doing the stress test the found a blockage and they had to put a stint in. He ended up staying on for an extra six months while he recovered, with full benefits.
 
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I just have one more thing that is in your favour. Even if you are started on meds for depression, it generally takes at LEAST six weeks for them to start working correctly. And even then, they need to be regulated to your system. If the principal only gave a few weeks for this to work, it is a medical condition. Just some food for thought.
 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- UPDATE

Well, it's done. I submitted my resignation in exchange for letter of recommendation and letter to SS. Resignation is effective June 11th. Depression going from bad to worse, I really need to seek some counseling when school lets out for the summer.

I feel like such a failure. Just seems like everything around me that mattered has either died or I've managed to mess up somehow. District is also laying other employees off and a few teachers are being strongly encouarged to retire. I'm pretty close with the old man who has his classroom next to mine, he has become a good friend the 2 years I've known him. He's planning on retiring and we've decided to have a "Enough With the Bullsh--" barbecue this summer. At least it's something to look forward too.

Also afraid my depression has put on strain on me and DBF. Though he has been supportive (he wrote my resignation letter--insisted on it--apparently he knows my tendency to snark and decided it would be the most polite thing to do) I've been taking a lot of frustration out on him. I know he doesn't deserve it. However, I did manage to hold back b--chy comments when he gave me a Mother's Day Card that said something along the line of "I'm the lucky one for knowing you"

So, the comment needs to come out: Er, yeah, a depressed widow who lost YOUR baby and lost 3 hens to a coyote, 7 chicks to a weasel, lost her job, was told by my parents that YOU'RE too good for me despite the fact that you barely have a high school education and were a part-time janitor at the time they told me that.

And ... I really have no skills or talents that are marketable. I'm book smart, that's all I ever was and ever will be and besides teaching or possibly editing, I have no clue what I could possibly do for a job in a rural area. My house is paid off, I'm not moving anywhere.

And I know most of you are going to flak about lawyers and being fired and all that.

Well, seems like every decision I've made in life has been the wrong one: moving up north, going into teaching, staying in a relationship with a disabled disgruntled Vietnam Vet through my 20s when I should have been out having fun, etc... So I might as well just keep making wrong decisions and end up alone with whatever chickens don't get eaten by predators as it seems that this is what Fate is intending for me.

And I've vaguely told my parents that the district is "cutting" me. I'm afraid to tell them the truth since I'm such a disappointment to them already. Having a younger brother who was smart enough to be skipped ahead a grade (although my parents declined so that it wouldn't ruin his sports career being a year behind his classmates) and then going on to HAVING a sports career: All-State football, 2 years on a state champion team, honor roll grades at a prestigious private Catholic school while I plugged along in high school as a burnout with C's (and was told repeatedly that horseback riding didn't count as a sport), took off on my own even before I turned 18, when I did decide to go to college at 22, they generously paid for college and helped out financially. They being able to afford doing so because my brother got a full-ride scholarship to a Big 10 university and started games his junior year and was even scouted by professional teams but he declined on account of a knee injury and instead gets hired by Shell Oil and works out in San Francisco and takes my parents to fancy wineries when they go visit him in his home on a gold course. The only thing I've ever done right is have my daughter, and they're critical of how I raise her. *Gasp* You put her in DAY CARE?! You NEVER went to day care. Yeah, well, we had hordes of extended Polish relatives to watch me and my brother growing up. I have no family nearby. After meeting DBF, my mother asked, "So what the heck is he doing with you?" and at Christmas my dad said to me, "We've never understood how you can get good-looking men to go out with you."

So ... I know I should tell them the truth, but in light of my brother just finishing his MBA and getting a raise and sending out a crate of Saddleback Wine, I'm not sure how I can.
 

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