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Married BYCers
- Thread starter I have WHAT in my yard?
- Start date
communicate! Stay in touch about everything-finances, responsibilities, how chores are split, everything. Keeping everything out in the open avoids a lot of conflicts. Take time for each other, even after kids are in the picture. Go for a walk, to dinner, or just put the kids to bed early and talk. Have fun together-share hobbies, and dreams.
I would say have some time just as a couple before having kids, but that isn't the plan for everyone. I conceived number 1 on my honeymoon, and kinda wish we had waited. But now, I'm still young, and #1 is moving out soon. We'll still be able to have a good number of years to do things as a couple after everyone moves on.
This is the most important-marriage takes 3. Keep the Lord the sole focus in your marriage. He made marriage, and He wants it to succeed always. Talk to Him, and listen, give Him your problems, and ask advice in your decisions. Don't forget to thank the Lord everyday for your beautiful marriage and spouse.
I would say have some time just as a couple before having kids, but that isn't the plan for everyone. I conceived number 1 on my honeymoon, and kinda wish we had waited. But now, I'm still young, and #1 is moving out soon. We'll still be able to have a good number of years to do things as a couple after everyone moves on.
This is the most important-marriage takes 3. Keep the Lord the sole focus in your marriage. He made marriage, and He wants it to succeed always. Talk to Him, and listen, give Him your problems, and ask advice in your decisions. Don't forget to thank the Lord everyday for your beautiful marriage and spouse.
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Yeah, he thinks I talk too much....
Yeah, he thinks I talk too much....
off topic
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Make sure that he is not a "mama's boy" and she is not a "daddy's girl," otherwise the inlaws will definitely be a problem. Also, if your SO is a drama queen/king or a jerk before the wedding, they will be one after. Don't ever go into a marriage thinking that you can change somebody.
- Apr 14, 2007
- 2,147
- 16
- 211
We married young and have been married for 36 years. We have more in common and our love has grown. A few questions to ask yourself and your spouse:
1. Things and your spouse will change! No 'if, buts, or maybes" they will change. Physical and mental changes will happen. Are you willing to love this person --NO matter the changes?? My husband has gain over 100lbs and lost much of his hair.. I have changed my ideas of living in the city and having designer clothes--to: wanting to be self sufficient and live on a farm!
2. Are you 'strong' enough to be an equal to the person you will marry? Do they already treat you or do you treat them as your/their opinion, ideas,dreams, wishes are not worth listening to?? OR do you both have goals, ideas, dreams, opinions that are VERY exciting or important to the other person?? My dh hates honeybees, I wanted to start keeping bees. He now does all my heavy lifting, he helps me rob and harvest 500lbs each yr.. The honeybees do not like him and try very hard to convince him he is not wanted--stinging him several times each time he helps me... He helps me plant my fruit trees, grapevines and is building me a wonderful coop--I include these to explain--that even though he works and pays all the bill--he thinks my interests/ideas/dreams are important..
3. Have you or Can you support yourself, yourself and kids? Do you have a career/job or a gift that will pull you thru if needed? With changing times--economic hard times ahead.. it will take everyone being willing to provide/work/make do to survive. How hard are YOU willing to work at keeping the family going...
4. Are you on the same 'page' about children? When, IF, How many---is only the beginning! Will you (again) be equals on caring for, providing for and correcting them????
5. Will you practice religion??
6. How much laughter is in your life?? Do/can you laugh at yourself? Without laughter your life will be hard...learn to laugh, long, hard and often..
May you and your spouse have the love and understanding that it takes to make a marriage work and work well...Dixie
1. Things and your spouse will change! No 'if, buts, or maybes" they will change. Physical and mental changes will happen. Are you willing to love this person --NO matter the changes?? My husband has gain over 100lbs and lost much of his hair.. I have changed my ideas of living in the city and having designer clothes--to: wanting to be self sufficient and live on a farm!
2. Are you 'strong' enough to be an equal to the person you will marry? Do they already treat you or do you treat them as your/their opinion, ideas,dreams, wishes are not worth listening to?? OR do you both have goals, ideas, dreams, opinions that are VERY exciting or important to the other person?? My dh hates honeybees, I wanted to start keeping bees. He now does all my heavy lifting, he helps me rob and harvest 500lbs each yr.. The honeybees do not like him and try very hard to convince him he is not wanted--stinging him several times each time he helps me... He helps me plant my fruit trees, grapevines and is building me a wonderful coop--I include these to explain--that even though he works and pays all the bill--he thinks my interests/ideas/dreams are important..
3. Have you or Can you support yourself, yourself and kids? Do you have a career/job or a gift that will pull you thru if needed? With changing times--economic hard times ahead.. it will take everyone being willing to provide/work/make do to survive. How hard are YOU willing to work at keeping the family going...
4. Are you on the same 'page' about children? When, IF, How many---is only the beginning! Will you (again) be equals on caring for, providing for and correcting them????
5. Will you practice religion??
6. How much laughter is in your life?? Do/can you laugh at yourself? Without laughter your life will be hard...learn to laugh, long, hard and often..
May you and your spouse have the love and understanding that it takes to make a marriage work and work well...Dixie
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If you're not 10000% sure, DO NOT DO IT! Oh and make sure they are well-aware of your chicken obession BEFORE HAND! LOL
- Dec 16, 2008
- 78
- 0
- 87
On handling wives:
When people complain, they want either SYMPATHY or SOLUTIONS. If it's a het man, they want SOLUTIONS. If it's any other gender or orientation, they want sympathy. So when a wife complains to a husband, he better have the "awwww honey" tone handy or he'll get stinkeye. Or worse.
On handling husbands:
When people complain, they want either SYMPATHY or SOLUTIONS. If it's a het man, they want SOLUTIONS. If it's any other gender or orientation, they want sympathy. So when a wife complains to a husband, he better have the "awwww honey" tone handy or he'll get stinkeye. Or worse.
On handling husbands:
From the BYC rules:
1. Remember this is a family board no swearing / foul language and no inappropriate "Adult" topics.
On handling relationships:
Don't mess around being coy. Say exactly what you want: in the car, at the drivethrough, at the bar, in the inevitable Deep Conversation About How Things Are Going. If you don't know, then stop the whole thing and figure it out because if THEY can't guess right, it makes bad feelings on every side.
1. Remember this is a family board no swearing / foul language and no inappropriate "Adult" topics.
On handling relationships:
Don't mess around being coy. Say exactly what you want: in the car, at the drivethrough, at the bar, in the inevitable Deep Conversation About How Things Are Going. If you don't know, then stop the whole thing and figure it out because if THEY can't guess right, it makes bad feelings on every side.
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Dont marry a guy/ girl with a psycho ex and baggage.
Quote:
Yeah, he thinks I talk too much....
Too funny. Trust me. Every husband feels that his wife, and actually all women, talk too much.
At times we long for the silence that only our death will bring.
Yeah, he thinks I talk too much....
Too funny. Trust me. Every husband feels that his wife, and actually all women, talk too much.
At times we long for the silence that only our death will bring.
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