Married BYCers

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Quote:
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Yeah, he thinks I talk too much....
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Too funny. Trust me. Every husband feels that his wife, and actually all women, talk too much.

At times we long for the silence that only our death will bring.
 
Quote:
Yeah, he thinks I talk too much....
lol.png


Too funny. Trust me. Every husband feels that his wife, and actually all women, talk too much.

At times we long for the silence that only our death will bring.

I second that!
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from wife....
 
Quote:
DH and I still hold hands, smooch goodbye's and tease each other. Those little signs of affection matter, they tell the other person that they are lovable and attractive. No matter your age, it's important to feel good about yourself, and SO's are a big part of that. When you love someone, their emotions are connected to yours, so when you are snippy and cranky it affects them.

We both have also learned the art of when to keep your mouth shut. I mean really, is it such a big deal that they leave the toilet seat up that you have to argue about it over and over? Sure, it's important to communicate about the things that matter, but it's also vital to figure out what REALLY matters. Arguing over small things constantly can really deteriorate a relationship fast. Treat each other better then you would anyone else, they are your "forever" after all, they matter most.

Relationships change over time. It's important to be flexible. It doesn't always have to be like it is in the beginning, true intimacy develops over many years together. It's the good stuff.

I don't agree that you should always necessarily have children. Children are extremely hard on a relationship, and very stressful to raise. I am glad I have them, and wouldn't have it any other way, but to sugar coat what parenting is would be dishonest. It's hard, it takes total devotion, and sadly sometimes marriages suffer for it. I'm not saying this is true for all couples, but it is for some. If you are with someone who doesn't want children, don't expect that to change. If having children is important to you, or you suspect it will be in the future, but your SO is either waffling on it or against it, you will need to decide whether you can give up having children and really be okay with it.

There are no rules to how long you have to date before you get married, what age you get married, or when you have kids. Everyone is different. The one rule is a total commitment to the marriage, through thick and thin.

16 years married, 18 together.
 
Quote:
Yeah, he thinks I talk too much....
lol.png


Too funny. Trust me. Every husband feels that his wife, and actually all women, talk too much.

At times we long for the silence that only our death will bring.

He says it's all about timing.
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From a wife's perspective. It was difficult to do BUT: My DH is a hard working guy, and at the end of the day it seemed natural to have him all to myself. Then he joined the volunteer firemen. It was only one night a week and when every the alarm went off. I resented the fact that I was left at home with 3 kiddos while he went out to "play." After several months, I noticed a more relaxed change in him. He enjoyed the compnay of the guys and that he felt some self esteem for his contribution to the community. I soon realised I'd rather have him putting out fires then miserable in the local bar.
 
Go on a canoe trip!
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And I agree, NEVER,NEVER say the 'D' word unless you mean it. My DH use to say it but I broke hime of it.

Last of all if you're both German it will be a challelnge. We are both head strong and that doesn't help resolve anything.
 
Henry'schickens :

Go on a canoe trip!
big_smile.png

And I agree, NEVER,NEVER say the 'D' word unless you mean it. My DH use to say it but I broke hime of it.

Last of all if you're both German it will be a challelnge. We are both head strong and that doesn't help resolve anything.

Not sure of the spelling but if you are German or speak German than you should get the point......I'll try to describe.
Anytime we have a "discussion" (we DO NOT fight or argue, this we promised each other we would never do) it is over the second he mutters this in German "Ya das ist riechtdiche!" I have asked him many times to please translate for me but he will not. Says it's his little secret and that it doesn't mean anything bad, giggles and pecks my cheek. I finally asked a former co-worker of mine who is German, she laughed out loud and told me that it meant something along these lines " "Yes this is right or true"

So I understand my dear husband is always telling me "I'm Right" anytime we have a "discussion" once he says this "discussion" is over....
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Better yet...He still thinks I don't know!
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Quote:
DH and I still hold hands, smooch goodbye's and tease each other. Those little signs of affection matter, they tell the other person that they are lovable and attractive. No matter your age, it's important to feel good about yourself, and SO's are a big part of that. When you love someone, their emotions are connected to yours, so when you are snippy and cranky it affects them.

We both have also learned the art of when to keep your mouth shut. I mean really, is it such a big deal that they leave the toilet seat up that you have to argue about it over and over? Sure, it's important to communicate about the things that matter, but it's also vital to figure out what REALLY matters. Arguing over small things constantly can really deteriorate a relationship fast. Treat each other better then you would anyone else, they are your "forever" after all, they matter most.

Relationships change over time. It's important to be flexible. It doesn't always have to be like it is in the beginning, true intimacy develops over many years together. It's the good stuff.

I don't agree that you should always necessarily have children. Children are extremely hard on a relationship, and very stressful to raise. I am glad I have them, and wouldn't have it any other way, but to sugar coat what parenting is would be dishonest. It's hard, it takes total devotion, and sadly sometimes marriages suffer for it. I'm not saying this is true for all couples, but it is for some. If you are with someone who doesn't want children, don't expect that to change. If having children is important to you, or you suspect it will be in the future, but your SO is either waffling on it or against it, you will need to decide whether you can give up having children and really be okay with it.

There are no rules to how long you have to date before you get married, what age you get married, or when you have kids. Everyone is different. The one rule is a total commitment to the marriage, through thick and thin.

16 years married, 18 together.

Well said.

I married my best friend. I have total respect for him and he does me. We may disagree... quite often but I make it a point to listen to how he feels and he returns the courtesy. Marriage is teamwork and I could not imagine going through all the hardships and wonderful things life has to offer without a best friend to share everything with. We met in a bar. I was a cocktail waitress and he tipped me good. I later found out it was it wealthy friend who was forking the bill!!
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I was dooped! but I can tell you that we may be scraping the bottom of the barrell and as long as we have eachother, everything will be ok
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That's what you want.... someone that will make it all ok

married: 4 and a half years
together: 9 years
1 child and 1 on the way:)
 
From someone who is also a volunteer firefighter's wife: I married him because I appreciated his values. Those values included his belief in community service......

I learned early on that he was glad I was independent first because he knew when the storms came, he would not be home. When the power goes out he is not home. Some men want clingy women, some women want men who are needy. Make sure if you need independent that that is who you marry. If you want clingy and needy be prepared for what that means!

Laugh every day. Look for the good, don't dwell on the bad cause you'll make the next stupid mistake. Don't bring up mistakes that were already apologized for!

Keep it coming BYCers - you're the best!
 

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