Thankfully, not all men or women consider their spouses to be their property. Which is why my husband and I aren't too fond of calling each other "husband and wife", as the terms make us think of obligation, and we are together by choice. My husband tends to care mostly about humor, intelligence, and a general sense of 'realness' in women. Doesn't matter if you have acne or a plain face, if you can keep up with him in conversation and seem grounded, he is way more likely to find you attractive. I am the same way, only with men. He always jokes that he should be concerned about his looks given my taste in guys (I like people who look real and interesting, John Cusack as opposed to Brad Pitt). Then there was the time he wanted to build muscle. I said that was totally fine if he was doing it for health, but he learned that I don't find anything beyond muscles you get from an active lifestyle attractive. That pop-up six packs actually turn me off. So yes, beauty is very subjective in men and women, and more so among people who seek out what they actually like rather than internalize what they are supposed to like.
