Mom doesn't acknowledge that I have a job - what would you say?

[DuckLady]

My hubby is a substitute teacher and his income literally depends on others people being sick.
Some weeks are great, some not. But the bills are paid and he gets to go golfing pretty much when he wants.
His mom asks personal financial questions all the time.

His response?
MYOB

 

[seismic wonder2]

If MOM is 68, tell her you're a housewife like June Cleaver.
She would probably be more happy with that than "Self Employed" or "entrapenure"

"Don't be so hard on the beaver.

 

[Crunchie]

I think that there's only so much "cutting of the cord" one can do. I agree with PC--these things shouldn't bother us, but they do. And really, isn't that OK, to a certain extent? I mean, they are our parents. Wether we are 10 or 40, it does matter what they say/think. That's just part of the relationship. Yep, it's different than when we were 10, but--still affects us. I don't think it's fair to say "cut the cord", unless you've got an abusive situation going on--which clearly this is not. But a frustrating situation, yes!!

I understand. I worked for over 7 years as the manager of a small independently owned health food store (well, I still work there but just part time now for a little extra cash). My mother would never acknowledge that this was a "real job" (her words), and I did bring home a consistent paycheck! She thought that because I wouldn't move up any further in position that it wasn't "real".

I eventually did leave to pursue another job because I wanted to finish my degree and I found work with a company that offered tuition reimbursement. But it still irritates me that she never thought my job at the store was a "real job". I loved that job. It was very "real". I managed employees, worked with customers, did most of the ordering to stock the store, helped the owner with a lot of decisions, helped design/plan a store expansion, worked long days, and brought home that darn paycheck!! You know, it hurt for someone to say that my hard work wasn't real. So I darn sure know how you feel.

I'm betting that it's just part of your mother's mindset as a result of her generation. She doesn't get it, and she might not ever get it, but I imagine she's not trying to be hurtful--she doesn't understand, and she's probably concerned. Good luck, I know it's frustrating!

 

[Dixiedoodle]

She sounds like my mom! Never a nice thing to say.. I finally told her that "it isn't something I discuss with outsiders--it was between my dh and myself" ..no matter the conversation subject!

It really isn't her business --if she isn't paying your bills, supporting you!

 

[Buff Hooligans]

It sounds like your mom never had to earn any money herself. (Must be nice...) Was she expecting you to become an attorney or corporate accountant or something so that she could brag to neighbors? Your mom's thinking is just too limited.

Perhaps you have other older friends who understand your work and can give you the approval and encouragement that would help you believe in your business and have confidence during the "down" times.

 

[zippychickens]

I am a homemaker. If my husband had to pay someone to clean, cook, do laundry, care for the kids , and do yard work he'd be paying out a lot of money. It is a job, but you know what? Nobody these days thinks it is. My own mother who was a homemaker and did my dads business books felt the same way, nobody thought she "worked" because there wasn't a paycheck. I am to the point were I do NOT feel compelled to defend my "job". I just smile and say "that's nice" to whoever is spouting off to me.
Now as far as your mom goes. It seems we are always looking for our parents approval and it hurts when they dont' give it. However , I think your mom seems to have a hang up over the computer part of it. I agree with another post, divide your income by 12 and then you'll have a monthly salary to tell her.
Good luck and remember, you are following your dream so dont' let anyone squish it.

 

[rooster0209]

Mothers, you can win with them sometimes. I love my mom to death but she is or can be very critical of me. On the other hand, my DH can do no wrong

If she is like my mom, she is critical to me and brags me up to others behind my back.

 

[Redfeathers]

I'm in the same exact boat as you. I work at home and make better money now then when I punched a time clock and worked a miserable job that I hated. My folks think I just sit and watch t.v all day. They can't wrap their mind around the fact that I'm not trudging off to a job I don't like. I agree I don't get paid benefits or a retirement account, but my husband does and my quality of life has drastically improved...so I just let them think what they like. Water off a ducks back.

 

[smpezzi]

I can totally relate to what you are saying except it isn't my mom it is her parents for me!!!!! I made the mistake of asking them if I could borrow some gas money until later this month with hubby gets paid for this closet job he is building in the workshop and got a lecture on how we need to manage things better, not be so picky, limit our driving etc etc. Then I made the mistake of saying that with hubby not having a "traditional" job where we get paid every two weeks sometimes you run short especially when you have a homeowner fall behind on his schedule there isn't much you can do about that not to mention my oldest son right now goes to school 20 min away so that eats up a lot of gas right now. As hard as it is you have to learn to somehow let it roll off your back. You will be hard pressed to convince her of how well you are doing, I don't know your mom but with my gparents it is like they can't be happy so no one else should either or something.

I hope at the least it helps to know you aren't alone in this epic parent child battle

 

[FrontPorchIndiana]

I homeschool my autistic son while taking my own online college courses and yet my Mom can't understand why I'm to busy to drop everything and run out to a cousin's birthday party yesterday. I don't know what she thinks my life is like, but she obviously has NO clue. She must think since I don't have a "job" that I'm sitting around eating bon bons reading trashy romance novels. I just try to not let it get to me.