Mom doesn't acknowledge that I have a job - what would you say?

[patandchickens]

With some people (ESPECIALLY family, and especially parents or siblings) there are just certain beliefs that are not going to change (at least not on account of anything YOU do or say), and thus certain topics that you simply can't constructively discuss.

So, don't. Just don't.

Any time she brings it up, politely thank her and change the subject, preferably to some sort of topic she enjoys as much or more. EVERY time. It takes two to have a conversation

If she calls you on it ("every time I try to say something to help you out about <whatever> you change the subject and won't talk about it") tell her that you just don't seem to be going to see eye to eye about it, and you'd rather talk about something else and enjoy each other's company without stressing each other out. Then just continue to not be willing to discuss it.

If she is like my mom, she will never really quit bringing it up

, but you can at least avoid getting dragged thru it all, over and over and over again, and making you stressed-out and crazy

Good luck,

Pat

 

[SpottedCrow]

Edit: I'm also unhappy that she isn't proud of me. Maybe some of us never grow out of that.

As long as you're proud of what you're doing...

Some parents DO think that if you're sitting home on the computer that you're not doing anything...In the old days it would be sitting in front of the TV...

My Inlaws don't get the concept of an online business...they're in their 80's.

I'm proud that I have a business that I can do at home and I can take time off to do things when I need to...I'll never be Donald Trump and wouldn't care to be, but if I like what I'm doing then the heck with what everyone else says.​

 

[Rusty Hills Farm]

I wonder is it's a generation thing. It seems that there are a lot of older ones that don't seem to grasp the whole 'working from home' idea.

No, it's a lack of education/lack of imagination thing.

I am 62 and work online while at home. I make a darn good living at it. I went back to school at 55 and still take courses to keep my skills sharp. Many people of many different generations think that their education ended when they were teens. It would not occur to them to switch professions or go back to school to update their skills. I know people in their 30s and 40s who moan about their lousy life but who would never dream of doing what I did.

Lots of people are mentally lazy and always look for the "safe" or the "easy" way. They want a paycheck not a career.

That's not for me. But I bet the orignal poster's mom would turn her nose up at my company too. That's okay. I smile all the way to the bank--which is what the OP needs to learn to do.

H​

 

[lengel]

Thank you. Thank you.

I lost perspective. There is something true about my relationship with my mother in every single post here and it really helped me to read and think about. She was unusually critical and dismissive yesterday and I felt slapped down because I had called her to tell her how well everything was going. As a general rule, she questions my choices but last night she was downright awful.

The upshot is that I found out a little while ago that my sister, who is a corporate attorney, basically had to ship her extremely successful executive husband off to rehab yesterday. They have only been married a couple of years and my mom loved the match (second marriage for both). Just last month, they took her on a trip overseas and treated her to the best of the best - something I would never be able to do. She bragged to everyone and hauled the photos to anyone who would give her five minutes of their time.

So now I have to rethink this. She seemed so normal (in other words, her usual behavior) but ramped up. But the possibilities that you all have taken the time and energy to give me food for thought and I am very grateful. In the future, maybe I'll be able to read the signals better and understand that's it's not me.