You're a Darling, Chickenbutwut, (I love your comical choice in name. That tells me that you have a great sense of humour! I bet that helps at times. I know that mine does!)
What you said in your post, really "got to me." I couldn't help but shed some tears. My heart went out to you. Everything you said, not just this (but, probably, the part that did it for me! Lol!):
Quote: "Just to sign my own name is really hard for me some days and doing artwork can be darnright painful, so I've had to give it up. I miss it so much. Some days I look at my artwork that I have framed and on my wall, and cry 'cause I know I can't do it anymore. "
I really feel for you. Well, not a lot of consolation, but, at least, you were able to produce wonderful pieces of artwork that you could proudly put on your wall. Not everyone can say that!
Actually, I've often thought how lucky I am that I'm a creative person like yourself. Can you imagine what it must be like for those people who aren't creative at all or aren't interested in things like that as they approach their latter years? Then, there are those people who don't seem to enjoy having pets around or even enjoy the fruits of gardening. I feel so sad for those people because they don't know what they are missing.
Actually, I'm headed in the same direction as yourself, sad to say. I'm only 57 but there are others who've got Rheumatoid Arthritus much younger. Even children, sad to say. I've had pain in my hips for many years which started a little to begin with after my first child and have recently been told that I, also, have Rheumatoid Arthritus there.
Quite some years ago, I had to, finally, concede that I was unable to dance or teach Flamenco any more due to knee problems, so I know and understand how frustrating, deeply sad and gut renching it can be to let something go that you deeply loved doing. Due to those Flamenco Dancing and Teaching days, my knees have suffered, and, now, besides the RA there, I'm losing power in my legs and can't get up from the ground without using something to pull myself up. I've done some research and it seems that it is more than likely connected to the RA that has recently developed in my spine. Pins and needles started in my right hand and was getting worse. (yep! I'm right-handed! Grrr!) When I told the doctor, he just brushed it off saying that it was probably just stress. Just stress! When I asked whether there might be other probable causes, he said, yes. So, I insisted on the tests required. He was quite surprised when he discovered that I had Cervical Spondylotis! (A pinched nerve in my neck caused by RA). Gosh! I wish my old doctor hadn't moved! He was such a good doctor and had a lovely disposition or bedside manner!
Good grief! Girl! I've just looked up "Fibromyalgia". You poor thing! I might have the same problem! Or something similar. I had a rather bad fall in my backyard some weeks back, and my ankle landed rather heavily on a brick that I had left lying around or sticking out. The ankle was rather badly bruised but I was fine. Unfortunately, pain started to creep up and down the left side from my hip to my ankle and kept getting worse! By the end of every evening, I was in quite a lot of pain and couldn't sleep because of it. When I spoke to the doctor about it, he simply said in a dismissive way, "Oh, the fall must've exacerbated your RA." Terr...rrrific!
After trying the third medication, he said that he couldn't do anything more for me. (Trust me to have unusual or rare reactions to them!) I told him that the pain killers (the third ones prescribed) made me feel groggy so instead of taking them 3 times a day as he prescribed, I was only using them at night before going to sleep, and that I could put up with the varying pain during the day. He just said, "That's good! The less you take, the better!" I try to do without them, if I'm not too bad.
You, also, must've gone through a lot when you were trying to sort out what was going on with your body.
So, bless you! Tammy! You've given me more incentive to sort my house out as quick as possible as it got left in disarray because I was leaving myself last, especially since my daughter left the nest. She's getting better at living in the big wide world as I don't hear from her as much as I used to. She doesn't need my help or advice as much any more. So that's good. But, I still need to visit my Father 2 to 3 times a week, keep an eye on his bills, etc. He's completely bedridden and can hardly do anything for himself any longer. At least, he still recognizes me. I have to organize phone calls for his other daughters who are interstate as he can't use his hands properly and can't hear very well. Then, I have a sister here whom I have to take for visits as well, of course. I have three sisters in all.
Oooh! Gosh! Tammy! I have gone on, haven't I!
So, I'd better sign off before I think of anything else to say! This is suppose to be a chicken forum! Lol!
Best wishes,
ChickyChooky
P.S. Yes. Thought of something else but it is important! Lol! I love your Avatar that you used! I gather it is one of your own pieces of artwork? It's delightful. You can see the humour in it as well.