My daughter can't drive, HELP

[serendipity22]

I wonder if you can find a large parking lot somewhere that she can practice in until things click. Go every weekend until things improve.

This is how I learned to back up our 27' horse trailer!

 

[OldGuy43]

I have another thought. Is it possible that her driving instructors have been teaching her how to pass the driving exam, instead of how to drive? There is a difference. Perhaps you need to find one who focuses on defensive driving.

 

[mommyofthreewithchicks]

With any new skill practice, practice, practice with some one experienced in the passenger seat with her... And no solo until she really gets it. No one wants an accident and if you are "passing" her before she is ready than you are also responsible, please sit with her so she gets the practice and DON'T let her drive if you don't think she is ready.


My dad always had us practice in the passenger seat as well. Ask her what the driver should be doing while your driving, then she gets into thinking of each action or thought the driver has to do.

 

[SarahBeth9394]

Yep I'd take the car and spend a lot of time teaching her how to pay attention. Anyone at 17 with two accidents that cuts others off is a menace behind the wheel and no child chasing a ball into the street would stand a chance. Does she play any video games like Call of Duty or the zombie killing ones? They take alot of focus on all the stuff on the screen. I'd have her spend some time doing that. It would help her learn to focus and deal with multiple distractions. Have her eyes checked. Also I wonder if she has any issues with proprioception.

 

[Stacykins]

Quote:
Ahahaha, I love your suggestion. And you're right, those video games DO take a lot of focus, but you also have to be constantly scanning the screen for impending dangers. Like when you hear the Hunter growl and know it is about to pounce, but you're dealing with a few Common zombies at that moment. Almost a perfect combination of focus yet multitasking at the same time.

 

[chickened]

Good idea, some people drive like zombies... 35 in a 55 on 1 lane roads (pickups with horse traliers

) for example.

 

[violetsky]

Thanks for all the good advice. Part of the problem is the school has limited parking spaces and you have to use them
or lose them It's really difficult for me to get my work done when I'm always having to drive to and from school everyday.
Risking an accident of course outweighs any inconvenience so no more solo driving She doesnt want to drive anymore
which is worrisome, I don't want her to give up completely. Someone thought a body awareness class would be a good idea
for her to try. She is a little clumsy and does have bad vision, though wears corrective glasses, so maybe another eye check
and yoga?? It was quite a relief to hear others have dealt with this problem and overcame it with time. She will be going off
to college in the fall and like all parents want her to be independent. Its really an important milestone, yet the statistics are
frightening for her age group. I guess I was naive thinking most teenage driving accidents were caused by drugs, texting or alcohol.

 

[SourRoses]

Does she have different eye glasses for day driving and dusk/evening driving? (if she drives in the evening).

My eyes passed all regular kinds of check-ups.. but when I had to get that FAA medical, they decided I needed glasses for night only. I found them enormously helpful for driving as well.... and I never had realized that all the headlights, stoplights, roadlights, ect were not in actuality as blurry as I had always seen them

Helps with depth perception too. Definitely get her day glasses prescription checked since eyes change, and let the doc know about the accidents or just that shes having some un-named problem so you can insist on it being done thoroughly

Sounds like her confidence took a big hit too

 

[Tala]

She needs to learn defensive driving and anticipation. 99% of what keeps me safe on the road is knowing what the other driver is about to do. You have to think ahead. Like getting into the exit lane a mile before you have to exit so that you don't "have" to jump over at the last minute and cut someone off to make your turn.
Some people are NOT naturals at this skill (my husband included) and it shows on the road. I was paying attention to the other cars and checking blind spots when other people drove since I was a kid (like, 10) so it comes pretty natural to me. Other kids don't pay enough attention to know how to get home from school on their own. You can learn to see when someone is about to pull out or change lanes in front of you and brake before it becomes an issue.

First practice driving in a parking lot, as suggested. You need to learn to operate the car itself on auto pilot. Meaning she needs to be able to physically control the car, use the blinkers and wipers and such without having to think about that. Then on the road she can focus on the traffic instead of having her mind on where the controls are.
Then learn all the common streets and intersections. It helps a lot if you know where you are going to have to turn ahead of time, or to know that you need to be in a certain lane before you are actually in the middle of it. Talk about it. Have her ride up front and pay attention as you drive around town. Ask questions like "where do I need to turn to get to Walmart?" Or which lane will I need to be in at this stoplight? Make her think about it.
In my defensive driving course they made us say other things out loud too. Like, mirror checked, blind spot checked, etc. At stop signs you had to say "clear right. Clear left" before going. When approaching red lights you had to call out "point of no return" to indicate that if the light were to turn yellow, at this speed it would be safer to go on through it. They were making you think about and discuss your judgement calls out loud.

I think the book we got was called Driver's Ed In A Box, and it was a parent taught defensive driving course. My sister said it really helped her. My grandpa actually did most of the drive-along on the road stuff with me. He would ask those questipns, which lane will you need to be in up here? And make you think about it. My mom did a lot of the parking lot stuff and we made loops around non busy neighborhoods when the kids were gone to school.

 

[BrattishTaz]

My 18 y/o can't drive either. She took driver's ed and was the only student to kill every cone on the track.

She was in gifted classes in school and does well with most things.