My daughter can't drive, HELP

[cassie]

Most of the posts on this thread are not taking into account what may well be the real problem. Brain wiring. She may grow out of it as her brain matures and she may not. She may be one of those people that simply cannot learn to drive or be trusted behind the wheel. Some people are like that. Unfortunately, a lot of them have drivers licenses. As for her not wanting to drive, that may be a good thing. Maybe she knows something you don't.

 

[SourRoses]

17 is an awfully young age to decree she has no driving future at all... that will impact her whole life. She has plenty of time to learn... so it's not going to hurt her to have a break from it for a while until she has a better instructor. I would encourage her that she can and will be a good driver with enough time and experience.

I don't really believe there are any people who are sound in mind and body that are *incapable* of driving well. It's not rocket science and it's not that physically challenging. However, there are plenty that need to admit to themselves when they are in need further driving guidance... that don't, because of ego or finances. Those, and the people who take out their fustrations on the roadways are the bad drivers... not because they are incapable but because they don't seek improvement.

 

[StupidBird]

Wow. Um. Had one of these. Hold tight, bite the bullet and don't let that one drive until you and she are confident. Ask her friends as well. Even if she never injures anyone, the expenses, god, the expenses.

Agree on the brain wiring. My specimen will be getting a mid range cc scooter when moving out, and live very, very close to where ever he's going to work. And maybe my insurance will come down out of the stratosphere. I feel for you. Because you will always find yourself worrying...

 

[justbugged]

My daughter is still a very scary driver. My son has never had a problem, and he can back up a trailer with precision. The daughter has gotten better, but she is the person I watch out for.

 

[Capvin]

Nothing you can do will make any difference in her driving. Only time will make her a better and safer driver. When my daughter was 16 she began driving and immediately got in several small accidents, mainly due to innattention. She also was a very good student. We took her license away and for her senior year in high school she could not drive. She went away to college and still we would not let her drive. We reluctantly relented during her junior year in college and since that date, 10 years ago, she has never had an accident or any other driving incident.

 

[OldGuy43]

I am reminded of an incident when I was about 8-10 years old. I asked a friend if he would like to go to the municipal swimming pool. He said, "I'll ask my mom." He came back to tell me that his mom had said, "No." When I told my mother she asked if I'd like her to talk to my friends mom. Mom got on the phone, spoke with his mom for a bit and hung-up with the strangest expression on her face. She looked at me and exclaimed, "Donny's mother says that Donny can go swimming when he learns how to swim."

Anyone else see the correlation?

 

[violetsky]

Quote:
I'm going to look for that book. I think after reading all the posts she has a combination of problems that need to be addressed one by one. Vision/depth/night perception test, improve gross motor skills and body awareness, and rewire her thinking a little. The above suggestion really hit home. When she drives with myself or her younger sister we tend to say, "turn here". I would try being quiet to let her think and she'd just get lost. All her friends are already very competent drivers with mostly the same experiences my daughter had in training. I failed to mention
two things that happened that might have knocked her confidence from the onset. On her very first practice driving session in an empty parking lot behind a movie theatre
she was pulled over by a police office. The movie ushers having a smoke by the back doors saw someone driving erractically and called the police. The officer quickly sized up the situation and basically said, "carry on" and left. Then while driving with the paid instructor they got rear-ended. No damage but the instructor kind of melted away after that. The next scheduled session it rained and he never rescheduled. We all laughed off both events.

 

[cassie]

This may make you feel better. Years ago, a friend of mine, while taking her first driving test at the DMV, blew through a stop sign and collided with a police car. She did recover from this, eventually got her license, and I don't think she was ever in another accident in her life.

 

[violetsky]

wow, that's pretty impressive that she got back behind the wheel.