My husband is being a jerk!! >:(

[WickedNerd]

Once upon a time, when I was married, my husband and I agreed that we would both make major decisions on the finances since they affected both of us.

Apparently that was only until I had big things to distract me.

I got hired for my first real job ever teaching 6th grade at a middle school. I had only two days from the day I got hired to get things set up. For anyone who has never taught before, there is a TON of stuff to do before the big first day. I asked my husband to please help me set up my classroom that weekend.

"Nah, I'm going to go look for a car. I'm going to need one soon. The truck is on its last legs."

I was annoyed by this, because I really needed help. I let it go at the time because I was too stressed to add more to the load with an argument.

Also, note that he said the word "look." My definition of look is to go to different lots, price things out, compare models, and such. Then, I expected that we would discuss it.

I left at 6 AM that morning. I didn't get back until 7 PM that night. When I pull up along side the house, there is a copper orange SUV sitting in my parking spot. That weasel went and basically spent my entire year's salary on a car without my input and without even test driving the sucker. Oh, and he was done with this process by 2 PM.

Needless to say I wasn't happy.

You have my complete and total sympathy.

 

[Gmsg01]

Quote:
I must have misunderstood your post about the $7.50 per hour processing mail job. This is why I don't depend on my SO to buy me anything. That way I can have a say on what I buy. He also has a say in what he buys. We talk about it and then we prioritize what we *need* and what we *really* need first. So far it has worked. Like someone else said, neither of you is single anymore, so you should be thinking as a partnership especially when it comes to finances.

That was my job before I desided it didnt bring enough an I should go to college..

Why didn't you keep the job until you started school, or even see if you could do part time while in school. My finances dictated that I work my entire school career-teaches time management skills

 

[TinyTotsSeramas]

Quote:
That was my job before I desided it didnt bring enough an I should go to college..

Why didn't you keep the job until you started school, or even see if you could do part time while in school. My finances dictated that I work my entire school career-teaches time management skills

because I will be a full time student and I also have a 9 month old, a 3 year old and a 5 year old I have to take care of on top of home work after I get out of school. by next year I am transfering to another school that has the program I am looking into going to.

Also I was going to lose that job anyways because they have the point system and my 9 month old daughter and my 5 year old son both have breathing issues and are alway being taken to the hospital. We just spent a week and a half in the hospital with my daughter last month and she was even airlifted to a different hospital a half of a week into the hospital stay..

They called me into the office and said they had to talk to me an before they said anything to me I told them I had to quit because I need to stay home with my daughter (since she couldnt be in daycare the day she came home from the hospital) and they said that they were just about to tell me they had to let me go because I missed too many days, when it comes down to it, a job, finances, or whatever else doesnt matter. my children come first.

 

[SarahBeth9394]

Quote:
And that is exactly right. I could be pulling in a real good salary right now but I had to leave my job which was becoming a good career because we have a special needs child who needs so much of my care that I would have gotten fired eventually for taking time off for all of our children's needs. I am not a high maintenance woman, I am not one to shop shop shop. My hubby made the mistake of saying "my money" to me this evening. So he will be getting a long list of what everyone needs when he gets paid Friday and that will knock steak right off the grocery list. He will excrete a block of precious metal and shut up real quick. And for the op... even in the best of relationships someone will have a brain fart and will need to be brought back to reality.

 

[watchdogps]

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Hahaha! I love it! I have said we are on the Playstation 3 birth control plan...on the other hand, it keeps him out fo my hair while I do things like plan my coop...

 

[sadies chicks]

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OMG! I would have committed murder. Did you make him take it back????!!!!

 

[ebwy2]

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Hahaha! I love it! I have said we are on the Playstation 3 birth control plan...on the other hand, it keeps him out fo my hair while I do things like plan my coop...

I had to inform fiance that his time on our housemate's ps3 was causing issues with our family life - our baby and I would like some of his time too.

maybe we need a "games consoles widdows" club

 

[Gmsg01]

Quote:
My gosh, you guys are really juggling some heavy problems! With those kind of responsibilities, I really don't understand budgeting $35 per week toward a gaming console at all. Perhaps he can hang with a gaming buddy and share that system? Sounds like you guys have some pretty huge financial responsibilities already.....can't imagine the costs associated with a week and a half in the hospital

 

[TinyTotsSeramas]

Quote:
My gosh, you guys are really juggling some heavy problems! With those kind of responsibilities, I really don't understand budgeting $35 per week toward a gaming console at all. Perhaps he can hang with a gaming buddy and share that system? Sounds like you guys have some pretty huge financial responsibilities already.....can't imagine the costs associated with a week and a half in the hospital

Although alot of people see it as "abusing the system" my daughter is covered under state insurance.. so State covered her hospital bill but it didnt cover some of her medications so that came out of pocket.. she was on 8 different medications at 8 months old! 3 were steriods, 3 were antibiotics, and 2 were bronchodialators (sp?).. In my opinion, when its for a child its not concidered abusing!

 

[arianna]

Quote:
x2 on this.

I could never understand the logic for those who rent to own. I have acquaintances who do that, and it's usually those who are more tide with money. All my life I saved and I was very frugal, and now I can afford to indulge my self with a hobby that has past the "practical" expense, but on other things I'm still very cheap and still look for bargains.
It's strange for me to observe that usually people who make less money end up paying more for certainly things, than those who make more money.

Now back to the OP's concern, there is no perfect marriage.
When there is only one in the household with an income there can be more tension, specially since, I presume, in your case, you are both very young. The understanding of necessity and pleasure are different when you are young. There are so many people out there who are happy to even have an income.
In young couples, the woman is usually more mature in judgment and behavior, not always, but in your situation you are clearly the grown up one. I think your best course of action will be to figure out a way to deal with your husband more in a way you would with a spoiled teenager. Let him have his toy, and try to talk to him about giving something in return.