I've only gotten to post 33 or so.
I did tell the oldest and middle what is the problem. The oldest is 18 and understood and has seen him in action, etc. The middle is 10 and I told her that Dad has a disease and she knew right away which one, even told me they learned about it in school. Told both the middle and youngest (he's 8) that Dad is having problems right now and is making decisions that aren't the best, but that he still loves all of us. That he needs time alone and it wasn't anyone's fault but his own. I will not say anything negative about him to them because I cannot imagine what they're going through missing him, they don't need to hear what a jerk he is right now.
He is a functional alcoholic, never drinks during the day, only at night, etc. This aside, I never had the first complaint about him, he was a wonderful husband and alright father, didn't have alot of patience with the kids in these past few months. On top of the drinking, he's bipolar and on meds that are making him get more drunk. Ugh. I'm just so disgusted with him. Real men don't up and leave their family, or refuse marriage counseling, etc. But he's made his choice and I hope he's happy.
Things are alright at the house. The kids are actually more relaxed because DH was so moody that we no longer have to walk on eggshells and they can play and be loud and be kids again. I don't have to kiss his arse to keep him from being moody. I don't have to remind him to do something a hundred times. I actually have more peace now and am sleeping better than I have in years. Now I don't have to sleep with one eye open in case he got so drunk he did something stupid, or worry about waking up in a puddle of his pee.
I have an appointment with a lawyer today, so that will be good. We'll file the temporary support, child support, spousal support paperwork, and the financial statements. He will have to fess up to cleaning out our bank accounts and will eventually have to pay me back for that. I'd like to change the locks on the house, but I don't think that's legal here, I'll ask today. I don't even know how to do that if I can, though.
And I have to take pics of all of my chickens because I can't carry the water bucket down to them in one trip or haul feed bags or afford to feed them all since he dumped us. He did a lot of things around here for me because I have Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis that I can't do for myself. I'm managing but it's been hard.
Thank you all for the continued support, it really means so much to me to hear your kind words and advice.
Edit:
I will NOT allow him to come home. I will NOT go back to him. He's done a lot of emotional damage to me and the kids (that isn't apparent yet) and I'm done living that life. Alcohol is a terrible thing for those who cannot control themselves. I tried to go to an Alanon meeting last night, went to the appointed place and no one was there so I called the contacts and they sad there weren't enough people to continue having it.
I'll have to find another one in a different town. I will go, though, for sure. They even have online meetings, so if I cannot find a live meeting, I'll do that.