my husband left me

[TigerLilly]

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Awesome advice from the trooper--and it works even if you're just feeling down! Cant tell you how many times I've 'dressed up' just to go to Walmart...sounds ridiculous, but it really works.

The love of my life (an ex) & I were together for 10 years (2 kids). While we are actually still close (I was stupid & young when I left him), I spend some holidays with my FIL, SIL, BIL & their families. We don't even use the word EX...we would've recently celebrated our 24th anniversary had I stayed. THAT'S a LONG time to keep 'ex's' in your life!
You cant choose your family & you cant choose who you love, but you CAN choose to keep certain people in your life, regardless of anything else. And while you can't help that you love the man (the heart wants what it wants, right?), you CAN choose NOT to let him ruin your life. I said the same thing about never getting married again. I was wrong...a few times (trying to replace the man you still love doesnt work, btw

)...but the point is, that even though I screwed up something very precious to me (hindsight & all), I am still chugging right along with my life--AND LOVING IT! With each disappointment & heartbreak in my life, I learned some valuable lessons. So if you do nothing else, LEARN from the experience, dont let it keep you from getting on with life & love!

 

[mikensara]

I can just share the boat of missery with you. hub sister and her family moved in with us and is a family of slobs i lost it on friday when i started cleaning up the house after the flood and they had the nerve to get ticked i wanted their stuff in their rooms and their laptops put away. the situation blew up and they are still here.

 

[FrenchToast]

Just checking in ! Hopefully no news is good news !

Keeping you in my thoughts that you are feeling stronger everyday!

 

[lowry075]

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This is great advice. I am so sorry you are dealing with this, but there will be a light at the end of all this. Stay strong.

 

[lynn1961]

Hang in there, it does get better. I had a situation like yours some years ago. it hurts, It sucks and it makes you cry, makes you doubt youself and wonder if you could have done anything sifferent, most times it is not anything that you could have changed.
Be strong, he will be calling you when reality sets in and the newness of his affair wears off, but would you ever be able to trust him again or to forgive him, to potentialy put yourself in the same situation later on ? Things to think about.
Take care of yourself, you deserve better and deserve to be loved and to have a faithful spouse, you are worth it.
It is not easy, but you will get through it. Look out for yourself financialy now, don't trust a cheater to do right by you as far as money, propert and your credit is concerned.
Find a support group. Best of luck,
From been there and done that, and won't do it again.

 

[HappyRoo]

Wow, I gonna get bashed on this one ! I been walking pass this one for over a half hour now' I ain't ever posted on anything like this post and don't know why I am even gonna try other than I do feel for all those in distress and I do mean that. I been married for 35 years now, have 2 grown daughters, 5 acres , 9 chickies, 4 dogs, 3 cats, Both I and my wife have worked hard all our Lives. I know 1st hand about laundry and chores at Home, I also know about keeping cars and plumbing running at there peak, and keeping 3 acres of grass cut and so on and on . Its been mostly for the worse around our marriage, but there has been some better tossed in there from time to time, I remember once her grandma gave her a $1000 dollars so she could by her anything she wanted, and she did need for a lot cause we were poor in the money area back then "the old Days Back then" man I loved her then, that little spark still burns but Im gonna shut up about that for now. She gave me the money and told me to buy what ever I wanted, that was 8 million arguments ago. Ok where was I oh yea my wife is a Pisces I assume all these types are typical naggers cause her mom is a nagger, her mom before her mom was a nagger now I am not Joking here, my wife doesn't like my chickens she hates my Dogs, can't stand the cats, I have to sneak and buy treats for them, they luv those Viennese sausages and bologna, they all know what time I get home from work. Man how do you guys find time to get on these forums with so much to do outside, anyway I want to draw a picture here' by no means am I the perfect husband far far far from it. What made me do Bad things I ask myself, cause I always thought my wife was and is the perfect wife ok maybe she don't like fresh air, chickens, dogs, and cats. Remember " For worse or Better" and what God put together thingy . She does have need for a auto mechanic and handyman however I need clean underwear and socks and a place for my Dogs and Cats to Rome, I'm losing it here . The point is we both have learned alot, and what I am trying to do is simply point out that there is always two side to every story, my wife is perfect in some aspects as to I am not so perfect in some but when her need is there I have always been there, Yea I felt like leaving sometimes and giving up. Sometimes we make the bad choice to treat our friends like strangers and strangers like our friends, through it all I found out that the best friend I have ever had was my Wife. We have forgiving each other 100 times in our lives, we've not let outside sources tell us what to do when the other one made a mistake, cause everyone has a opinion and been there before us. I got my Job where Iam at right now a couple of months after we got married, man I have felt like walking away from this place 100 times, I have taking stuff my brother has walked away from 40 times and he don't have a job today! now I am ranting, Listen Prayer and forgiveness goes along way and there ain't no body that don't need God to Bless them, but it comes down to that when some one spitefully uses you bless them and ask God to Forgive them AS Jesus Did on the Cross, It takes a strong person to forgive someone who is puttin' nails in your hand. Dearest Father God I believe you are in total control and that You Love all your children, Lord I command the Devil to Flee this Family in Jesus name and that forgiveness and harmony will be restored and a new Fire burning in their lives, I look to hear of great happenings In JESUS'S Christ our lord and saviors name ; Amen and Amen. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In Christ always Walk Jerry Gee.

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

I'm not going to bash you, I'm just going to say this isn't couples therapy. He is not on here. She is. And so we will support her as best we can. And when a partner has betrayed you you need to start with defending yourself, especially financially.

Other than that she's been offered support.

And there are usually three sides to every story involving two people: his side, her side, and the truth. But what people believe to be real is real in its consequences.

 

[chickened]

The best advice/post I have seen in a while.

35 years is something to be proud of.
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[Nicole01]

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Don't give up on men. There are really good guys out there. My ex husband cheated on me with several woman. He even tried to sleep with my best friend while I was 3 feet away sleeping on the couch. He claimed it was all my fault that I set him up to cheat. I left the next day and took my daughter to move to my parents house while getting back up on my feet. I dated a couple of people, of course getting cheated on again. Some guys are real jerks. My last bf just me for another woman and my supervisor soon after(1 week) wanted to set me up on a blind date with her BIL. I said no at first because I was through getting cheated on. I bit the bullet and accepted. Well, 1 year after out first blind date we got married and here we are 12 years later. My husband is the kindest most caring human being I've ever met. He even stuck around after I broke my neck 3 years ago and is still very supportive with my very limited lifestyle. I'm now homebound due to pain. He is a fabulous father and step father. I never in a million years thought any man could be so kind and caring. I am truly sorry for your husband leaving.

Oh, my ex husband married one of the woman he cheated on me with. He now has had more then one affair with her. They are still together, but to this day 17 years later, he still blames his misery on me!

 

[dmccann]

He sounds like the jerk i was married to,he said it was my fault cause i sent him to the store to buy some pepsi,and the scag in customer service was in customer service,anyways to make along story short,it did not last for them................ha ha ,i did become stronger even tho i was left in debt,it was hard.I remember watching a movie can not remember the name ,but she burned her husbands clothes and car,it gave me some wind back in my sails! U will survive u will be strong,and my prayers r for u.