my husband left me

[HappyRoo]

Misterhandsome wrote:

"when i found out about the other woman and his unwillingness to work on us i calmly kicked him out. he was flabbergasted, said he didn't know where he'd go (i gave him one suggestion) ? "


In my yard wrote:

"" I'm just going to say this isn't couples therapy. He is not on here."

No She Kicked him out! he was FLABBERGASTED ????


Can you see why I am kinda confused here, I 'mean it don't take much to confuse me anyway

Sounds like he didn't want to leave ?

My Gran-pa told me once "bless his heart", he is gone on now, still miss him but sometimes I think he's still here.

I can hear his voice when My Little Granddaughter reallly makes me Mad !! Son' he would say " Don't punish her just yet, wait until you calm down some, in his loving way that he did things !!

wow what a difference a few minutes or days make ?

Even Couples therapy don't teach about the spirituality , and principalities that are around us. Doctors, Therapists, Lawyers?
Give me a good and Faithful Baptist Preacher any day ! What does it really mean when they say "What God has Put Together"

I hope and Pray for all of Gods people to Prosper and be strong, YES you will make it Honey, because God Loves you very much and he is with you right now, draw close to him, set on his side, find love in him and you will find everything your little heart has need for !

Once in awhile ?

Jerry Gee.

 

[mom'sfolly]

Horny Toad....if he didn't want to leave he should not have stepped out with another woman.

Those vows before god and man include the bit about forsaking all others. The man broke his vows. She followed through, he didn't think she would.

I have a lovely story...the place I worked had a post card wall. One day a guy was standing there, pointed out the postcard and said he took his girlfriend there for a vacation. Then he went on for about a half an hour ranting and raving about his wife divorcing him, getting all his money and custody of the kids, and he never wanted the divorce. She found out about the vacation he paid for, and took with his girlfriend. This divorce, that he said he was so against, was a natural consequence of HIS actions. Same with the OPs spouse.

Actions have consequences. He stepped out, blamed it on his wife and then was upset when she didn't react as he expected. If you don't want to endanger your marriage, you don't put yourself in those kind of situations. You avoid that kind of emotional attachment to other people, you avoid sex with other people and you don't put yourself in a position that makes you vulnerable to straying.

People make the decisions on marriage, god doesn't. Marriage, even in churches, doesn't magically make people infallable.

 

[chickened]

The guy cheated plain and simple and it is now up to the wife to accept him back, the ball is in her court not mine or anyone else's. I think responsibility is equal in a marriage and one does not go a looking if all is well. My FIL just re-married to a gal that has been married 5 times and is 15 years younger. He lost his first wife about 6 or 7 years ago to illness. I am not very optimistic about this marriage lasting but what do I know people don't always get married for love these days.

Seems I did read once some very good advice, "Flee fornication... 1Cor. 6-7" easy peasy.

 

[misterhandsome]

Hi everyone

It's been awhile and you've all been so supportive that I thought I'd give an update.

I've talked to a therapist a couple of times. I believe that every relationship takes two, and understand my role in the breakdown of my marriage. The ugly reality is that I lost sight of us, showed some of the worst sides of my strong personality (no, not b**ch or nag, just knowing clearly and confidently what I want to the exclusion of what he had to say far too often) and got to a place where I was taking my husband for granted and completely ignoring his needs. Didn't help that I'd given up a lot of what I love to do....yoga, horse riding, bike riding. No, this does not justify his stepping out.

My husband and I are also talking. He has come here and helped me with some things and we are slowly discussing the important things. I believe him when he tells me that this thing with the co-worker lasted only one week and is finished. Truth is, he stands to lose far, far more than me financially should our marriage dissolve as I am the primary bread winner, but he doesn't want to come back for financial reasons alone. He accepts responsibility for not communicating his emotional needs to me and feels sincerely terrible for stepping out. He also knows he needs to make changes. He fears that neither I nor my family and friends will ever forgive him. He also fears that neither he, I, nor our marriage will make positive changes. Strangely, odr maybe not, I feel closer to him now than I have in a long time because of the emotional connection this brings. We're also laughing more each time we talk.

I am now back at yoga, horse riding and bike riding and it feels great. I have given my kitchen a face lift by painting the cupboards. It's fresher and brighter and feels like I've turned a page. Funny thing is that these things probably would not have happened without this marital conflict. It opened my eyes really, really wide. We both stopped checking in with each other and with our marriage.

My family and friends want my happiness and will support me no matter what happens. His family and friends want the same for him and tell him to take a leap of faith and come home. I trust him and know in my heart that we can fix this and have a new, stronger marriage, but he also needs to get to that place. Through it all, and no matter what happens with us, I have vowed for the future to love with all my heart, pay attention to the people I love and to show compassion. Today I have hope that we will get past this.

 

[sheila3935]

I am praying that this is what happens for you.

 

[kuntrygirl]

I hope, pray and wish that everything works out for you.

 

[chickened]

There will be alot of people that will not forgive him or tell you not to forgive him in your circle and elsewhere... tell them to shut up. Spends some time with each other, alone and ignore the busybodies. A little mercy on your part goes a long ways.

 

[IttyBiddy]

God first, Family second! You already have positive signs going for you! God Bless your day!

 

[sfw2]

You sound like a great woman, and maybe your husband is starting to remember this. Isn't it funny how the qualities that attract people to us (things like strength, decisiveness and independence) can, in time, push them away (when they start to look like stubborness, pigheadedness and selfishness). Went through a rough patch in my own marriage when that happened. I'm so hoping you can both work through this.

 

[babymakes6]

It will take time to learn to trust again, and the doubts will come in when you least expect it. I am so glad to see that you are talking and trying to work things out. Prayers and patience, as well as communication are what will make a marriage strong!