My mom is dying *She's gone now **update*

[Sissy]

Tonini ..I pray everyday.for you and yours,
do as mom wished ,and let the other do what they will.
do not allow others to trample on her last wish.
we had a few of those too that triedto have things their way.
Moms in charge here and you and your family are following her wish. Keep staying strong. do as Mom said.

Sissy

 

[Amyable]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I pray that you feel peace in following your mother's wishes. To the family that is giving you trouble, just tell them this is how things are going to be and you're not arguing with them and they are welcome to attend the memorial. That's it. They need to understand it is not their choice.

You are a wonderful daughter and your mom is so blessed to have you by her side.

 

[EweSheep]

Prayers sent!

Hope your mother will go peacefully and do go with her wishes to be cremated despite of what the others wanted. A person having cancer does NOT look like the person we know of before they were DX with cancer.

Some folks do have a perception of cremation being "burning to hell" type of thing. Really, it is not.

 

[Bec]

 

[tonini3059]

Thanks, it is just so frustrating especially now since my mom is starting to ignore my father and me. She will talk to anyone else that comes by but if we talk to her she just stare past us in her own little world. I know it is not on purpose and she loves me. I asked her that last night. i said mom you don't talk to me or answer my questions anymore and she just said that she hurts. So I was not sure if she knows she is dying and was mad because we didn't tell her so I said are you mad at me and she said "S*** No why would I be mad at you for all you are doing for me...so that made me feel better. It still hurt today when my brother and his wife just stopped by and she was like hi how are you, and my grandmother's friend whom my mom has always disliked stopped by and she like Hi what are you doing out, then I ask her if she needs anything and I get silence...

 

[1stepcloser]

She is just pulling away hun. It is part of the process of letting go of this world.

 

[tonini3059]

Quote:
That is what I told my grandfather.. He said no they can work miracles that the friend who died in a car accident last week looked just like herself. I said well they cannot inject 10 lbs of fat into my moms face and make her eyes not sunken in anymore. Then talking to my one uncle who is on our side with the arrangements said she looked horrible that even her own son did not recognize her. He is just so unreasonable. Like they don't have enough time to say goodbye now and come look at her. They usually call every morning at 8:30, but not today and I refuse to call them.

 

[EweSheep]

Quote:
I agree with this. She does not meant to do it to hurt you but it is the way the body reacts to the "shutdown".

 

[danielle82]

she could be silent with you because she knows how much you love her and she knows she can be tired and non responsive to you and you will still love her. Kind of like when you've had a bad day, and you'll be nice at strangers but then end up snapping at your husband? You can "let loose" around people you really trust, but have to keep a nice front around people who you don't hold so close. This is a very emotional time for you guys (I lost my daddy in june, I know) and feelings are going to run high, just try to remember that everyone loves her, and she loves you.

 

[tonini3059]

Quote:
Yeah I know, but I hate that it started with us, whom are the closest. The hospice people gave us a nice pamphlet to read about what to expect.