Oh Chirpy, I'm so sorry. I understand your pain, I understand your guilt. In January of '07 I lost my 19 month old pugapoo, Kramer, due to my stupidity. I let him go potty off leash late one night and he decided to try to catch an SUV that was driving slowly down our street. I wasn't able to stop him and I saw the whole thing.
RIP sweet Kramer
Anyway, it hurt SOOOOOOOOOOOO incredibly bad and for so many days, I didn't think I would ever "get over it." But, the pain did lessen with time and, eventually, I was able to let go of my guilt because I know I never would have intentionally hurt Kramer. It was just a tragic accident caused by a false sense of security -- he had never chased a car before.
I know you're hurting, but it will get better. Try your best not to beat yourself up with guilt. You loved her and you gave her the best life you could, you didn't neglect her or intentionally hurt her. It was another tragic accident. I'm so sorry it happened.
I am also very sorry for your loss. I know it is a sad time for you, but it will eventually get better. I'm sure almost all of us here have lost a beloved family member such as a dog or cat and we all sympathize with you and share your pain.
What a beautiful angel! I am crying so hard right now because she looks exactly like my baby, Sebastian, who died a few days after his 3rd birthday 3 years ago. He had epilepsy and hip displaysia, and the seizures began to get so bad - as many as 6 a day - even with the medicaton, so we had to let him go. He was suffering. I got him 6 weeks after my 20 year old dog died about 6 years ago. I can still feel his thick fur running through my hands, and I used to pet his ears for hours...we used to say he had satellite dishes on the top of his head-they were just the biggest ears ever! I always said that they were probably the hardest part for his mama to push out!
I saved some of his fur and had a local lady spin it into yarn for me. It's not a good consistency to knit with or anything, but I have it draped over his picture in our living room. Even a few years later, I still feel physical pain in my heart and soul when I think about how much I miss him. There just are no words. Be comforted knowing that everything happens for a reason, and it just may be that she already fulfilled her purpose here and she was called home. I never thought I would know the reason Sebastian had to die so young...but 6 months later, I found out. My dad died and no one wanted his 2 greyhounds, so my husband and I drove to KY and brought them home to WI to live with us. One of them later died of bone cancer, but we still have Brooke, and she's just lovely! What a dear, sweet creature...she's helped me hold onto a piece of my dad, and she's brought so much joy to us and our kids. It makes me sad to think my kids won't remember Sebastian, but his early departure made room for another very special dog who was obviously meant to be with us. We could have never taken in 2 more dogs when we had him...he was 130 pounds and it would have been too much to handle with his seizures and everything. My thoughts and prayers are with you, and stay strong. In time, you'll realize the purpose in her passing and it will give you so much peace. Hugs........
The same thing happened to our nonsense, Angel. She would chase motorcycles down the road, and we thought we had broken her of it until I let her out one morning and she went a little too far out in the road after one and he couldn't avoid her. They stopped and told us what happened and they looked like they felt horrible, which made me feel worse b/c it was our own fault that we didn't have her on a leash.
Oh Sweetie I am so sorry. I am so glad you decided to share with us. These people are so wonderful and compassionate. The day I had to put my sweet Abby to sleep, she was 14 and was having seizures and mini strokes one right after another, I was alone. My son was at school and my hubby at work out of town. After I tearfully returned from the vet I tried to focus my attention else where and got on line. The next thing I knew I decided to share with my chicken friends (thats what my hubby calls you!). It was truly the best thing I could have done. I was amazed at the kind and sensitve wishes being sent my way. Some shared stories and one a beautiful poem that still makes me cry. It helped to know that I wasn't alone. I am sure it will help you too. Hang in there, he knew you loved him.
I know exactly how you feel Chirpy. :aww It's ok. I had to put my Blue Heeler, who was going on 16, to sleep two days ago.
It hurt very bad. But you should remember all the happy wonderful times you had with her, even if she didn't stay as long as you'd hoped she would. It's alright. My prayers are with you.