SO my wonderful sweet cousin Megan got married last week. I was there and it was simple and beautiful and elegant, food was wonderful and it was great to see family and visit.
There was a face missing however - my uncle Jimbo.
When I asked what the deal was, I was told he didn't come because Megan said she didn't want children at the wedding. Perfectly understandable - it's really no place for young kids. They get bored and cranky and they are noisy and just not a good fit for an elegant event in a small venue.
I was wondering, though, how that had anything to do with my uncle. Turns out his girlfriend has a young kid and REALLY wanted to bring her along. He tried to guilt Megan into letting his girlfriend bring her - and Megan flat out said no. Bravo, I say. The kid could stay with her dad for the weekend or they could get a sitter or something. But no, my uncle just decided that his girlfriend's brat is more important than Megan's special day, and he just missed it altogether because he didn't wanna come alone.
To top it off, I will be honest and say that not only do I not want any children at my own upcoming wedding either, I do not like kids. My uncle does not seem to be able to absorb this. I am telling him in gentle ways, like 'I can only have a certain number of guests due to budget constraints' and 'this is a close friends and family event - no plus ones will be given' but he responded to my last question with 'Oh, do a cruise wedding! Miriam and I could come to that!'
Am I the jerk here? I don't want to pay for catering for his girlfriend and her kid, who I never even met, when catering is $50 a head and you know they aren't going to buy 150$ worth of gifts to make up for it so I can break even. He hasn't even been with her that long.
I'm not sure what to do. I really want him to be at my wedding, we have always been close. I'm just not sure what to tell him.
There was a face missing however - my uncle Jimbo.
When I asked what the deal was, I was told he didn't come because Megan said she didn't want children at the wedding. Perfectly understandable - it's really no place for young kids. They get bored and cranky and they are noisy and just not a good fit for an elegant event in a small venue.
I was wondering, though, how that had anything to do with my uncle. Turns out his girlfriend has a young kid and REALLY wanted to bring her along. He tried to guilt Megan into letting his girlfriend bring her - and Megan flat out said no. Bravo, I say. The kid could stay with her dad for the weekend or they could get a sitter or something. But no, my uncle just decided that his girlfriend's brat is more important than Megan's special day, and he just missed it altogether because he didn't wanna come alone.
To top it off, I will be honest and say that not only do I not want any children at my own upcoming wedding either, I do not like kids. My uncle does not seem to be able to absorb this. I am telling him in gentle ways, like 'I can only have a certain number of guests due to budget constraints' and 'this is a close friends and family event - no plus ones will be given' but he responded to my last question with 'Oh, do a cruise wedding! Miriam and I could come to that!'
Am I the jerk here? I don't want to pay for catering for his girlfriend and her kid, who I never even met, when catering is $50 a head and you know they aren't going to buy 150$ worth of gifts to make up for it so I can break even. He hasn't even been with her that long.
I'm not sure what to do. I really want him to be at my wedding, we have always been close. I'm just not sure what to tell him.
