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My uncle's girlfriend's anklebiter.

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by Nimby Chickens, May 21, 2011.

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  1. Nimby Chickens

    Nimby Chickens Chillin' With My Peeps

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    SO my wonderful sweet cousin Megan got married last week. I was there and it was simple and beautiful and elegant, food was wonderful and it was great to see family and visit.

    There was a face missing however - my uncle Jimbo.

    When I asked what the deal was, I was told he didn't come because Megan said she didn't want children at the wedding. Perfectly understandable - it's really no place for young kids. They get bored and cranky and they are noisy and just not a good fit for an elegant event in a small venue.

    I was wondering, though, how that had anything to do with my uncle. Turns out his girlfriend has a young kid and REALLY wanted to bring her along. He tried to guilt Megan into letting his girlfriend bring her - and Megan flat out said no. Bravo, I say. The kid could stay with her dad for the weekend or they could get a sitter or something. But no, my uncle just decided that his girlfriend's brat is more important than Megan's special day, and he just missed it altogether because he didn't wanna come alone.

    To top it off, I will be honest and say that not only do I not want any children at my own upcoming wedding either, I do not like kids. My uncle does not seem to be able to absorb this. I am telling him in gentle ways, like 'I can only have a certain number of guests due to budget constraints' and 'this is a close friends and family event - no plus ones will be given' but he responded to my last question with 'Oh, do a cruise wedding! Miriam and I could come to that!'

    Am I the jerk here? I don't want to pay for catering for his girlfriend and her kid, who I never even met, when catering is $50 a head and you know they aren't going to buy 150$ worth of gifts to make up for it so I can break even. He hasn't even been with her that long.

    I'm not sure what to do. I really want him to be at my wedding, we have always been close. I'm just not sure what to tell him.
     
  2. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits... Premium Member

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    Its your wedding.. do what you want. Its YOUR day...
    But i would probably invite the GF also.... just to be nice.
    I would also nicely say "no children please"....
     
  3. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    Ya know, people who have kids love their kids. And they get insulted when others don't love their kids. So, when my brother got married, he and his soon to be wife hired a quartet of neighborhood girls aged 15-17 and had everyone drop the kids at the brides parents house. They were paid well by many members of the wedding party, the kids had a blast and they all got to come to the reception toward the end. No kids at the wedding, and they weren't there til the very end.

    Work it out. If there is a will, there is a way.
     
  4. Elite Silkies

    Elite Silkies Overrun With Chickens

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    All kids were allowed at my wedding, but both my husband and I had small kids and we wanted them there so we couldn't tell others not to bring their kids. Besides, it wouldn't have been right for us not to have all of our family attend.

    Everyone is different though, and I like the idea of hiring some baby sitters that could help out and then let the children come in after the wedding. Really, I can understand both sides.
     
  5. tazcat70

    tazcat70 I must be crazy!

    As a parent, if my children are not invited to an event, do not be upset if I do not attend. It is your day, so it is your choice to spend a lot of money on catering. I thought a wedding was a time to celebrate your happiness with family, not try and break even with gifts.

    I like the idea of hiring babysitters if children are not wanted.
     
  6. Elite Silkies

    Elite Silkies Overrun With Chickens

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    Quote:We requested that no gifts be bought for us. Some still bought, but we did not expect anyone to. I honestly do not think a wedding should be about gifts, rather than uniting families and love.
     
  7. tazcat70

    tazcat70 I must be crazy!

    Elite it wasn't directed at you, but the OP's statement about her uncle not bringing $150.00 in gifts and she not breaking even on the catering.
     
  8. Elite Silkies

    Elite Silkies Overrun With Chickens

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    Quote:Oh I know, [​IMG] I was just basically agreeing with you [​IMG]
     
  9. tazcat70

    tazcat70 I must be crazy!

    Quote:Oh I know, [​IMG] I was just basically agreeing with you [​IMG]

    Ok, I just wanted to make sure. [​IMG]
     
  10. Sonoran Silkies

    Sonoran Silkies Flock Mistress

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    Children within the family should ALWAYS be included in the invitations; children of friends not necessarily. Catering will usually accomodate children for much lower cost. Having a room for the kids with a babysitter is a great idea, but don't be surprised if they want to party with everyone else--I've seen it work out both ways.

    Not inviting a significant other is just plain rude. How would you feel if your uncle and his girlfriend got married and invited you, but not your fiance?

    And I agree, totaling up gifts given to see if they meet catering costs is, at best, tacky.
     
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