My Worst Nightmare

[EmtheFishLady]

I have them all in one of those big CD cases. I organize them alphabetically.

 

[eenie114]

Quote:
Ohhh... Did you- *Can't think of another way to organize something* Never mind.

 

[EmtheFishLady]

Hey Eenie, did you check behind the shower curtain today? Cause it's the 18th....the 18th of May is when ALL the serial killers hide behind shower curtains ya know.

 

[b.hromada]

So yes folks, they ARE out to get me. It isn't being paranoid if they really ARE out to get you right? So I'm asking you all to do your part to keep me safe. Eat turkey. Every single day, at every single meal until we drive them into extinction.

I nearly fell over when I read that one!!

 

[eenie114]

Quote:
I know what you're doing.

 

[AHappychick]

wish that would happen to me My turkey Christoph could sure use a mate. Although I could do with out the destruction.

 

[ADozenGirlz]

Red&Yellow :

That's a new one: death by turkey.

Would you put that on your gravestone?

 

[daver]

Quote:
This.


I don't think you people understand just how this turkey vendetta has progressed throughout my life. Let me give you some examples.


Age 5, petting zoo, big white turkey comes up behind me gobbles and steals my petting zoo food. He proceeds to follow me around the whole petting zoo and continues to do this. (My parents found it hilarious.)

Age 13, we move to the middle of an orange grove. Wild turkeys roam through often. I go outside to feed the cows, get attacked by a turkey. Turkey is riding on my back flapping it's wings wildly while I am screaming and running around like my head has been cut off.


Age 16, driving down the road and a turkey FLIES INTO MY DRIVERS SIDE WINDOW. FLIES INTO ME WHILE I AM DRIVING. I WAS A MOVING TARGET AND YET HE STILL GOT ME! I realize I am safe nowhere.


Age 20, while visiting my uncles farm as soon as I step out of my vehicle, I get attacked by his "pet" turkey. This turkey is "normally very gentle" there "must be something about me he just doesn't like"

Age 23, while picking up a rex kitten from a woman her "pet" turkey tries to GET IN THE HOUSE to get me. She claims the turkey just wants attention. I know better.



So yes folks, they ARE out to get me. It isn't being paranoid if they really ARE out to get you right? So I'm asking you all to do your part to keep me safe. Eat turkey. Every single day, at every single meal until we drive them into extinction.

 

[BCBunnies]

Quote:
This.


I don't think you people understand just how this turkey vendetta has progressed throughout my life. Let me give you some examples.


Age 5, petting zoo, big white turkey comes up behind me gobbles and steals my petting zoo food. He proceeds to follow me around the whole petting zoo and continues to do this. (My parents found it hilarious.)

Age 13, we move to the middle of an orange grove. Wild turkeys roam through often. I go outside to feed the cows, get attacked by a turkey. Turkey is riding on my back flapping it's wings wildly while I am screaming and running around like my head has been cut off.


Age 16, driving down the road and a turkey FLIES INTO MY DRIVERS SIDE WINDOW. FLIES INTO ME WHILE I AM DRIVING. I WAS A MOVING TARGET AND YET HE STILL GOT ME! I realize I am safe nowhere.


Age 20, while visiting my uncles farm as soon as I step out of my vehicle, I get attacked by his "pet" turkey. This turkey is "normally very gentle" there "must be something about me he just doesn't like"

Age 23, while picking up a rex kitten from a woman her "pet" turkey tries to GET IN THE HOUSE to get me. She claims the turkey just wants attention. I know better.



So yes folks, they ARE out to get me. It isn't being paranoid if they really ARE out to get you right? So I'm asking you all to do your part to keep me safe. Eat turkey. Every single day, at every single meal until we drive them into extinction.

Okay I'll do my part to keep you safe from turkey attack I'll make sure to keep plenty in my backyard to raise for the family.

And make sure the ones head your direction go to turkey heaven/freezer.

 

[EmtheFishLady]

That would work, except for the "raising" part. You're supposed to help drive them into extinction...