need advice on a relationship problem,,, update 3-27-11

[Mattemma]

You pay for the home,but are not on the title after all these years? I would not want to live somewhere where someone could get mad at me and say," Get out of MY house." I have a friend that does that with her partner. It is a terrible way to live.

I would start looking for a rental.Even just a room in a home.With the money issues many are facing they consider taking in boarders.This way maybe you can take your hens.If not it is still a good idea to seperate. You can still see the woman if you want,but I would stop giving any money.Relationships sometimes improve with seperation,but since you have done this a few times already a clean break might be better.

Life is so short so I say move on.

 

[EweSheep]

Even with the strong temptation (yeah I know, I see too many of those trash shows), do not give any "booty" calls, either...it would turn your brain to mush and she would use you again. Women do know what they can get their man back but the strong ones will see thru that and say NOPE, Good bye!

I hope you can find a rental soon or a nice little farm to have your chickens or go to a town that is chicken friendly. If you have alot of chickens, you might want to cut back for the town's restrictions on the number of chickens you have.

Chin up, good man, there will be a nice lady that would take ya!

 

[Me & My Peeps]

Move on, dont look back and DONT allow yourself to be manipulated by her when she tries to use her daughter as a weapon. She's 12, that's old enough for her to know what's going on and she will remember how good you were to her. A few more years and she can come see you on her own without her mothers permission.

Your actions now - no matter how hard they seem to be, will be worth it when you see her lose the house and cant keep the utility's on. It's a small victory............but a victory. Within 6 months you will be wondering why you stayed so long. Dont let it eat you up, these are "Life Skills" that we learn. You will move into your next relationship much wiser and more alert to the signs that its not going well. Consider yourself way ahead of the game.......I know some people that NEVER learn this and bounce from one troubled relationship to the next and never find peace.

 

[blueseal]

Me & My Peeps :

Move on, dont look back and DONT allow yourself to be manipulated by her when she tries to use her daughter as a weapon. She's 12, that's old enough for her to know what's going on and she will remember how good you were to her. A few more years and she can come see you on her own without her mothers permission.

Your actions now - no matter how hard they seem to be, will be worth it when you see her lose the house and cant keep the utility's on. It's a small victory............but a victory. Within 6 months you will be wondering why you stayed so long. Dont let it eat you up, these are "Life Skills" that we learn. You will move into your next relationship much wiser and more alert to the signs that its not going well. Consider yourself way ahead of the game.......I know some people that NEVER learn this and bounce from one troubled relationship to the next and never find peace.

thats one thing she has said to me before when she wanted me gone. oh your going to leave me with all the bills and that i should give her money before i leave so she doesnt lose her house . without me she wont be able to pay it all . i guess i feel guilty if she loses her house because she will say she lost it because i left and make it look like it was my fault. when i leave everything will be paid up to date wich it is now. i just want to go when i know i have a place of my own to rent and dont have to live with family im used to being alone so i would rather not live with my parents again tried that the last times i left. just doesnt seem to work. anyway maybe theres a farm house out there waiting for me to rent i always wanted one of those.​

 

[Chickerdoodle13]

I would probably wait until I got everything in order before leaving. Find your rental, figure out what to do with your birds and then leave. Sounds like you are not happy with your current situation and it's not worth it to put yourself through that for much longer. Sounds like she is kind of immature from some fo the things you have described about her.

Don't let your birds hold you back from doing better for yourself though. Even if they are pets, you can always find new birds. It'll be difficult, but your life will improve so much.

Is there any way you can sort of "board" your birds somewhere local until you can find your own place where you can keep them? Since your coop is moveable, this might be your best option.

 

[turney31]

Quote:
This!

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
This!

I agree tenfold!!! You are short changing yourself for sticking around in a bad situation.

 

[blueseal]

she wants me out by 2 this afternoon before she gets home from work . nice notice. how can i find a place for my chickens that quick. this is how she is when she wants me out . she wont let me stay until i find a place she said if im going to leave i have to leave now. she told me to take my pillows but leave the pillow cases because they match her sheets . see told ya she was a drama queen.

 

[sgtmom52]

Quote:
I agree it is short notice and not fair. I don't know about the laws in your state, but in PA you would be covered under the "Landlord / Tenant" laws and she would actually have to evict you to forced you to leave ~ but that defeats your desire to actually want / need to leave.

Is there a possibility that she will allow you to keep the chickens there (and you come to tend them) for a short time while you attempt to relocate them? And would they be safe there alone with her?

 

[blueseal]

Quote:
I agree it is short notice and not fair. I don't know about the laws in your state, but in PA you would be covered under the "Landlord / Tenant" laws and she would actually have to evict you to forced you to leave ~ but that defeats your desire to actually want / need to leave.

Is there a possibility that she will allow you to keep the chickens there (and you come to tend them) for a short time while you attempt to relocate them? And would they be safe there alone with her?

i have done that before left them there and came to tend to them everyday. was a pain . just dont want to go back here when i leave. as it is now my truck is uninspected since november but she still wants me gone . so basically i shouldnt be driving it and i havent been since december. when it rains it pours .