Need advice on ADD/ADHD

[cthrash1]

Quote:
Amen to this...I felt aweful when I first had to decide to medicate...But the change when we found the right med was amazing, it was like I knew he is so smart and such a sweet loving child but had a hard time getting it out before. While trying different meds that didn't work out I wanted to just give up and it was his Dr. that kept me going and told me we will find one that will work and he was right. And just like you said, he said I would be doing him an injustice by not trying to help him to be able to bring out what we knew was inside. He still has some trouble as he is at the strongest dose for his age/weight(as said before severe ADHD) but the schools accommodations have really helped. And he really had a creative teacher last year at handling his bad days. I would have been one not to medicate if at all possible but there are some kids that it really benefits.

 

[mom4morecritters]

One thing that I haven't seen mentioned yet is that medication is NOT meant to make your child drowsy or "out of it". Medication, when properly prescribed, is meant to help the brain function, not shut it off.

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Quote:
Your daughter sounds a lot like my 3 yr old son. He has really bad meltdowns too when changes occur. My son is too young for meds, but I'm sure he will start them one day to help him deal with transitions and change as it is very difficult for his brain to switch gears... he melts down and can't function.

Becoming very structured, and setting up routines, can be a lot of work. You may want to check out Do 2 Learn. They have a great deal of information and ideas on attention deficits.

Picture schedules can help tremendously. You can download pics from Do2Learn, or take pictures of your daughter doing different things and tape them to a board (or use Velcro) in correct sequence. One example that I do is washing hands: I have a photo sequence (laminated) w/the first pic showing a child getting soap, second is rubbing hands together with the soap, third is turning on the water, forth is rubbing hands under water to rinse off soap, fifth is turning the water off, sixth is getting a paper towel, seventh is throwing the paper towel in the garbage. It may sound really dumb to some people, but when you have a child who can spend 5 full minutes at the sink and all they get accomplished is turning on the water and space out or play in the sink, you tend to get tired of the water running for so long all the time, especially if you have THREE kids like that!

I automatically look at the sink when I hear water running to make sure they are rinsing their hands, not goofing around.

I cannot count how many times a day each of my children will "see something shiny". That's our inside joke when the kids get distracted and veer off course from their destination!

Good luck!

 

[ams3651]

when my son started school last year the district provided him with a practice bus ride and I took pictures of the outside of school, the entrance, the hall, the door way, the room, his teacher and his desk. And they had an open room night for the kids to meet.
I find more and more as he gets older, getting his attention and making sure hes seeing me is a big thing. And having him repeat what he is trying to say in the right way. Hes a very hands on learner and pictures help alot.

 

[newchickenfamily]

mom4morecritters AND ams3651

YES! We are doing the picture schedule/chart too!! We have started out very simply. If there is too much info on the board it's too overwhelming for her. I have all of her morning things on there...getting dressed, brush teeth, eat breakfast, etc... I've slacked off while she's been out of school, but will get the board ready to go the week before school or so. School mornings are the WORST! That's when she has the full on screaming tantrum rages. She has so much anxiety, the whole getting ready to leave the house and be at school is way too much for her. I could go on and on, but don't want to bore you all with this!

Thanks for your input. VERY MUCH APPRECIATED! I can't tell you how nice it is to hear from people who are experiencing similar issues. I haven't met any moms around my area who are in the same boat. I KNOW they are out there, but I haven't had the opportunity to meet them!

 

[gumpsgirl]

I also have 2 children that have ADHD. When my first son was diagnosed with it, I fought and fought against the medication end of the whole thing. I was completely against it! Then I had the doctor tell me that if my son was a diabetic, would I deny him the medication he needed to function on a daily basis. Of course I said no! Then he explained that ADHD and mediation isn't any different. I then embarked on the journey of reading every bit of material that there was available on ADHD and on the different medications. We finally agreed to put him on something and let me tell you, it made a HUGE difference! So much difference that by the time my second child's symptoms started surfacing, I was one of the first ones to diagnose him. He was a lot worse than my first child. He couldn't keep up with his school work, showed signs of dyslexia, cried all of the time, has a horrible temper, kids made fun of him, he became withdrawn, etc..., etc... The list goes on and on. We went to the doctor and went through the whole testing process and it was determined that he was ADHD also. Once we put that child on medication he was a new little boy! He started interacting with other children more, he stayed on task with his school work, his temper was completely under control, the dyslexia signs went away, and I had a happy little boy! What a lot of people do not understand about ADHD is that it is completely frustrating to have your brain work a hundred miles and hour and not be able to gather your thoughts because your brain simply will not slow down. I also don't know if anyone has ever pointed out to you that some of the brightest minds in history were also ADHD. Albert Einstein was and so were many others! ADHD children are usually the people with the the highest IQ's. I just wanted to share.

 

[seminolewind]

Wow, two kids with adhd. That takes a wonder mom. I work with a nurse I met 3 years ago. She could not focus on anything, it was awful. In the morning she'd be sitting on the floor in a corner writing her notes. She never held a job for more than 4 months, then get let go.
She got on the meds for adhd and turned into a completely different person. The nurses in my unit were like the only ones who understood and loved her. All that excess energy is now focused into things she wants to focus on. She now literally runs our unit, to the point where the supervisor writes her up for doing other people's jobs that should be doing their own jobs the right way, such as stocking linens. She is so happy that she's kept a job for a few years now. And now she's learning not to let people push her around and criticize her. We all love her, and always have.

 

[mom'sfolly]

I have several friends who have children with severe dyxelia (sp???), and for each of them their child was itinially labeled ADD/ADHA. In these cases the child could not focus because it was so difficult for them to do the work. Each of these childern had motor delays, speech delays and difficulty with reading and focusing, but did well academically. Now they are actually doing much better, being helped with the reading disorder has helped with the ADD/ADHD tendencies.

I also have a 10 year-old whose first grade teacher repeatedly told me he needed a medical solution to his behavoir issues. This kid' kindergarten teacher thought he was delightful enough to ask for his brother in her class, and still thinks he is a great kid. His second grade teacher called him an inpiration to other children, and an enthusiatic student. His behavior problem was completely a matter of teacher preception and behavior. He preformed for teachers who nurtured his intellengence and learning style and did poorly with a teacher who was too inflexible.

You need to find a solution that works for you and your child. Don't think the professionals know your child better than you do, or that they know what is best for your child. That is your choice.

 

[czilas]

I agree with grumpsgirl all the way!....
My son has ADHD and I was scared of having him being on meds because I didn't want him to be drugged and act as a different child. I also didn't want to be judged as a BAD parent because I can't control my child so I chose to drug him instead.... After talking to his teacher about his behaviors and learning problems I decided to research and try the medication. I feel very self fish now for waiting so long in letting my son live a normal life because I was worried about being categorized as a BAD parent. He is such a great boy and has progressed beyond belief within a few months. The teachers at his school were amazed and my son even told me he likes to do his homework now as before he would throw fits because he was having a very hard time concentrating.
Again, this is your child and nobody knows their behavior better then you. Trusting Doctors is very hard for me, but as others have said find a specialist and exhaust all your options until you find what fits your child best. Take care and good luck...

 

[Three Cedars Silkies]

My perspective is that of a parent with a now-adult 21 year old ADD daughter. Together we went through the valleys to the mountain tops for about 15 years and I'm proud to say that she has come out on top!!

She did try medications...Ritalin gave her Tourette's Syndrome...had to stop that right away. Adderall was the best but she just hated the zombie feeling she got. I gave her the choice at about age 11 regarding taking the medication and she chose not to take it...understanding that her own behavior modification would have to suffice.

Changing her to a small private school her first year of high school truly changed her life! Now she is a soldier in the Army Reserves, a full-time college student in her junior year, works about 25 hours a week at an upscale restaurant and this year purchased her own house!

This info is just to encourage you that it may be a few tough years, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. In your darkest days...and there will be some...remember that if God takes you too it...he'll bring you through it! I don't know how parents cope that don't have a relationship with God. He is my rock!

She still has challenges..."lazy times" as she calls them...and she usually suffers some sort of consequences. This helps her to remember that it is a daily decision to keep her focus.

Keep on keeping on....

 

[AhBee01]

My twins we also add, and it was tough, the also had other learning disabilities. I chose to medicate after a few years of them struggling. I told no one, because I was afraid people would think I was taking the easy way out. Also my family was very against it do to fear.
I thought long and hard before I decided to try the meds. At this point I thought we have nothing to lose. With in 2 weeks people noticed a very dramatic difference, so did I. They were able to stay focused, and were able to get things done like homework with out melt downs. My family starting asking what we were doing different. I broke down and told everyone that we deciced to try meds, and it made a world of difference for them. I worked with a Dr and therapists and we also had a team at school.
Make sure you child has an Individual Educational Plan (IEP) Make sure the teachers follow it.
If you do try the meds. please do not feel bad, you have to do what is best for your child.
Both my sons took control of their meds by 6th grade deciding if they wanted to stay on them or not.
One stayed on them , and one stopped. The one that stopped did well, but still struggled some.
My other son stopped by the end of high school, since he started to feel disconnected from his peers.
He still should be on meds, he struggles every day, at work and such. But they both made it through high school and one is now in collage.
Just do research and don't be afraid to try things, if they don't work, try something else!
Good luck, hang in there,
Brenda
PS. Remember you are not alone.