Need advice on confronting egg begging family members...

[teach1rusl]

I live on a family farm of my in-laws. When my chickens first began laying, we were overflowing in eggs, and I was more than happy to share extra eggs with family and coworkers. But eventually we started selling our extra eggs to pay for the chicken feed. We have LF and bantam hens, so we'd sell the "big girl" eggs and keep/eat the bantam eggs. We still ended up with extra eggs sometimes, and what we didn't eat we'd offer to my mother-in-law or other family members.

Here's my problem: For the past year, but mostly over the past six months or so, my one sister-in-law and her husband have begun to EXPECT eggs (for free). More and more frequently they've started asking for "spare" or "extra" eggs. They know we sell our large eggs for feed money. And they know we have a 21 yr. old son who eats a LOT. So far we've always coughed up eggs for them, although we've been sure to mention that our aging flock doesn't lay like they used to (because all of our LF are in the 3-5 yr. age range), and that molting has put a huge damper on the number of eggs we're getting...all our attempts at hinting that they shouldn't be asking for eggs.

But they've begun asking us for eggs almost once a week! This is my husband's favorite sister, and I get along well with her. But I'm starting to feel resentful about them expecting eggs. Because this is a family farm, I certainly don't want to piss off my neighbors, but I'm getting ticked off myself. I'm not sure how/what to say to let them know that this needs to stop without causing family conflict... Only one other family member has asked us for eggs, and he offered to buy them!

What could I tactfully say the next time they ask us for eggs???

 

[Ol Grey Mare]

I live on a family farm of my in-laws. When my chickens first began laying, we were overflowing in eggs, and I was more than happy to share extra eggs with family and coworkers. But eventually we started selling our extra eggs to pay for the chicken feed. We have LF and bantam hens, so we'd sell the "big girl" eggs and keep/eat the bantam eggs. We still ended up with extra eggs sometimes, and what we didn't eat we'd offer to my mother-in-law or other family members.

Here's my problem: For the past year, but mostly over the past six months or so, my one sister-in-law and her husband have begun to EXPECT eggs (for free). More and more frequently they've started asking for "spare" or "extra" eggs. They know we sell our large eggs for feed money. And they know we have a 21 yr. old son who eats a LOT. So far we've always coughed up eggs for them, although we've been sure to mention that our aging flock doesn't lay like they used to (because all of our LF are in the 3-5 yr. age range), and that molting has put a huge damper on the number of eggs we're getting...all attempts at hinting that they shouldn't be asking for eggs.

But they've begun asking us for eggs almost once a week! This is my husband's favorite sister, and I get along well with her. But I'm starting to feel resentful about them expecting eggs. Because this is a family farm, I certainly don't want to piss off my neighbors, but I'm getting ****** off myself. I'm not sure how/what to say to let them know that this needs to stop without causing family conflict... Only one other family member has asked us for eggs, and he offered to buy them!

What could I tactfully say the next time they ask us for eggs???

"I'm sorry, but I don't have any extra eggs - if you want to be added to the list for purchasing eggs I'll be happy to do that so you can be sure to get eggs regularly, but right now all the eggs we have been getting are going to fill orders for purchase."

 

[teach1rusl]

Well I KNOW they don't want to purchase any...lol. So I guess I just need to practice in front of a mirror saying "I'm sorry, but I don't have any extra eggs." If this was MY family, I'd have no problem telling one of my brothers "Sorry, no." But it's a bit more touchy with in-laws...especially when they're your neighbors.

 

[dekel18042]

Just curious, if you didn't give them eggs, wouldn't they have to buy eggs? Or would they not eat eggs? You could mention that because of the increased price in feed, all extra eggs must be sold to offset the increase in food prices, and let them take it from there. Would they rather purchase from you or the store? If they elect the store, oh, well, that is their choice.

 

[MeepBeep]

Tell them you will gladly continue to give them one dozen eggs a week for free, once they make their yearly $200 (friends and family rate) feed donation...

Honestly I would be straight up blunt, and tell it like it is, the chickens are not free, they require food and daily maintenance thus the eggs are not free either... If they want 'free' eggs offer to sell them a few hens, and let them get all their own 'free' eggs...

 

[dekel18042]

Love that answer. Or you could offer a swap if there is something you want. Or figure out how much you pay for feed to get how many eggs and offer to swap x dozen eggs for a bag of chicken food.

 

[teach1rusl]

Just curious, if you didn't give them eggs, wouldn't they have to buy eggs? Or would they not eat eggs? You could mention that because of the increased price in feed, all extra eggs must be sold to offset the increase in food prices, and let them take it from there. Would they rather purchase from you or the store? If they elect the store, oh, well, that is their choice.

There's just the two of them, and I don't think they use a lot of eggs. But yes, evidently they will occasionally buy store bought eggs. I think they (her husband moreso than her) prefer fresh eggs to store bought though. The thing is, I almost never give them the large eggs (because my husband sells them to his coworkers). I give them bantam eggs (which is what we as a family eat, to reserve the large ones). They KNOW I don't sell the bantam eggs...that I use/cook with them.

My S-I-Law's husband told hubby that "family comes first" when dh mentioned to him last week (after being asked if we had eggs they could have) that we're barely getting enough eggs to sell to his coworkers. So I do think he believes he should not have to pay for eggs, since we have them and we're family... I understand his mentality - because I think he was raised to "share what you have." But someone offering to share is different from going asking/expecting...

 

[teach1rusl]

If they want 'free' eggs offer to sell them a few hens, and let them get all their own 'free' eggs...

Funny...just last week my husband suggested to my S-I-Law's husband that they get a few chickens of their own for eggs. He replied that he didn't want to fool with chickens!

So they don't want any of the work, expense or responsibility of caring for chickens...they just want the eggs...lol!

But I do like your suggestion of "chickens cost money, and therefore eggs aren't free either."

 

[1muttsfan]

Difficult situation - I usually just tell people who ask for free eggs that I don't have any to spare. It would take a lot of gall for someone wanting a handout to question why you are selling them if you do not have spares! To which I would probably answer, "they are paying customers who we supply regularly and I hate to disappoint them". (You can leave unsaid, "But I do not mind disappointing you"). Obviously if you are selling them you do not have extras - they are all going for chicken expenses.

I do supply my BF's mother though, and don't mind doing so. She only uses 3-4 eggs a week.

 

[islandgirl82]

There's just the two of them, and I don't think they use a lot of eggs. But yes, evidently they will occasionally buy store bought eggs. I think they (her husband moreso than her) prefer fresh eggs to store bought though. The thing is, I almost never give them the large eggs (because my husband sells them to his coworkers). I give them bantam eggs (which is what we as a family eat, to reserve the large ones). They KNOW I don't sell the bantam eggs...that I use/cook with them.

My S-I-Law's husband told hubby that "family comes first" when dh mentioned to him last week (after being asked if we had eggs they could have) that we're barely getting enough eggs to sell to his coworkers. So I do think he believes he should not have to pay for eggs, since we have them and we're family... I understand his mentality - because I think he was raised to "share what you have." But someone offering to share is different from going asking/expecting...

He should know "family comes first" is a two way street. If they don't want to spend the money, perhaps they have something to offer in exchange for eggs.