Need some advice....again :/

[Alicia G]

Well this is about my twin brother. No we aren't Identical

Hes bout 6 feet tall and darker, a lot of native shining through him

And this girl is only 5'4 and pasty as can be

Well he is worrying me lately, well more like for a year or so now. He has devoted all of his life to video games, and it is affecting him in more ways then one. His grades are in the toilet, he is breaking away from his friends, even though they are gamer s themselves

But the most resent issue is that he is overweight, and now he is sick. Hes over 250 pounds..... And he doesn't even care! For years he has teased me to the point of me going into tears over my weight, my poor health, and loss of eyesight. And now that he is sick, he gets angry at everyone! I have tried to help him, I told him Id go to the gym with him (as I already do) and I could help him with his diet, but he refuses any help I offer. I want to help him, but he wont take it. Iv'e been told by many people that he needs to deal with his problems himself, but I KNOW he wont help himself. I'm afraid of what could happen to him. Right now the doctor has told him he probably has something wrong with his liver and/or gal bladder. Know he is getting farther and farther away from his friends/family/social life. And it just hurts me, because I remember when I went through the same thing when i lost my eyesight, that lonely feeling like no one can help you. But he has the chance to get help, and he wont take it.
I'm at my wits end. I just feel like I'm useless

Sorry, just needed to rant

 

[Tanichca]

Well, it is his choice in the end. Is there anyway to *cough* sabotage *cough* the TV or video game console? Maybe if he doesnt have that distraction, he'll do something else.

 

[Alicia G]

Ya I tried that once, it didn't end well

 

[Avalon1984]

You mentioned his grades. Is he still living at home? Where are the parents? I would just toss all the game console stuff out the window and put him to work but that is stubborn me. Seems like it is time for him to get back to reality. Maybe keep the game stuff somewhere and have him work for the minutes he plays. I used to play computer games and still do in cold winter nights, but I also manage to work full time and run a farm on the side. It is all about priorities. Good luck to you! Hope you’ll work it out.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
X2

 

[sunny & the 5 egg layers]

I am very sorry to hear this.

It is very hard to help somebody who doesn't want to help themselves. He has to want to help himself in order for you to help him. Sure you can offer to go to the gym with him, or show him a correct diet but what is he going to do when you aren't around? He will just sneak the junk food and play more and more video games. He has to realize that there is in fact more to life then just video games.

I am not sure exactly what your situation is as far as if he is still living at home or not. What are your parents doing about it?

The whole problem here is the video games. He is getting bad grades because of playing so much video games and not doing schoolwork.
He has health problems and is overweight most likely due to his lack of excersise (because of playing video games) and bad eating habits due to always playing video games.

You should tell or show your brother that there is more to life then a foolish video game.

Course you could remove the game consol from the house, but most likely that is only going to make you get in trouble and yelled at by him.

I really hope he is able to sort it out. Just know that it is not your fault. "You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink"... Or in this case "You can try to help your brother but it isn't going to work until he wants to help himself"

You can only do so much. You are only his sister. He has to want it to get it.

 

[Chickerdoodle13]

It sounds like there might be some depression going on here. Maybe suggest to your parents to think about counseling or family therapy. That can be incredibly helpful and can be a good starting point.

 

[Alicia G]

Quote:
My mother and I have asked him numerous times, both counselling for himself or together as a family, he refuses it all. But I mean there is only so much that I can do, its just me, my mother and my two brothers, and with Mother working full time and me caring for my younger autistic brother for much of the day, I just don't have the time for it all. I am still going to school and I need IVs every other week for goodness sake! And to top it off, I am dealing with my own issues, mainly trying to grasp the fact that I am now legally blind....
I feel like there's only so much I can do, and I feel at the same time Im failing my brothers because its just not good enough.

 

[bluesub]

Can you get his doctor to help you? Can you ask him to go to counseling just one time, for you?

 

[un-named]

People do what works for them, even if they're bad things. thing is to get something ELSE to work for him and it sounds like you've offered and have done everything you can.
Wish i had better things to say. I bet another poster is right, depression is playing a part here, the 'I don't care part'.