Neighbor issue *Update! He let them out! post 19*

[PotterWatch]

We have a neighbor who is... interesting. The kind of person who accuses you of hurting his cat one week and then asks you over to see his new kitchen the next. When he comes over, he knocks then proceeds to look through our windows if the blinds are open, or through the very high glass in the top of our door if the blinds are shut (I don't know about you, but my Mom taught me it's not polite to look through someone else's windows.) We (stupidly, I now see), asked him to collect eggs and feed our chickens the last time we were on a trip. He often asks if we have extra eggs so I thought it would be a good way to give him some eggs and get our chickens fed at the same time. It went ok except that he let them out of their run to traipse around our yard for a few hours each day. We did NOT ask him to do that and did not appreciate the chickens getting into my garden or pooping all over our patio. I have 8 hens in a 4x6 coop and with a 10x15 run, so they have plenty of space. He said he didn't get any eggs except the first couple days... hmmm, do you think perhaps they were laying eggs out in the yard since you let them out, neighbor? They have laid well for me all winter.

We did not ask him to do anything with the chickens for the trip we are just getting home from now. I had a friend who volunteered to come over with her kids every day. I was just checking my facebook and got an instant message from my neighbor saying "I went over and fed your chickens today, is anyone else doing it?" ARGH! He should NOT be in my yard at all, let alone going into my yard, then my chicken run and feeding my chickens! Doesn't he think that I would arrange for someone to feed them? I'm not sure what to do about this now, but he already irritates me with his lack of respect for our privacy by sticking his head over the fence to check out our yard and "chat" if we are out there, and looking in my windows when he comes to the front door. I don't want to make him mad and cause bad relations, but he is really starting to go over the line.

 

[MomtoSyd&Emma]

My suggestion? padlocks! We have our coops, and runs all padlocked, we bought a 6 pack of locks that all use the same key at Lowes!

 

[WoodlandWoman]

Just tell him that you arranged for someone else to take care of the chickens. If you want to be nice, you can tell him you thought it would be a fun thing for their kids. If this was someone you liked, you would probably think it was a nice thing that he was making sure your chickens were being looked after. That's all he was doing and why he tried to contact you, to ask. Should he have tried to contact you before feeding them, yes, even though you had asked him to do it before.

I don't really have a solution to you not wanting him to talk to you when you are in the yard or to come over to your house, other than to not say much to him. Don't initiate conversations, don't answer questions in detail, don't say much when he talks. If he offers you produce from a garden or anything else, just politely refuse. Don't be negative, just strive to be neutral and stay at a distance.

I would happily trade him for a couple of our neighbors. Ugh!

 

[PotterWatch]

It's not that I mind talking to him, I just want him to not be as invasive about it. I don't mind at all if he wants to come over and knock and have a conversation. I just don't like that he knocks, then starts looking in my windows to see what I am doing. I don't like him starting conversations over the fence because I feel it is just as rude as looking through my windows. We have 5 and 6ft block wall fences for a reason! We are going to put up some vines to give privacy on the fenceline.

I did tell him that we have someone coming everyday to collect eggs and feed the chickens. I do appreciate someone looking after our property, I just don't like his assumption that he can come onto our property without being asked. If he had asked before he went over, I wouldn't be at all upset about it. He could have easily gotten ahold of us through cell phones or email, but he chose to let himself in our yard first. Very irritating!

 

[MagsC]

I am very private about my home so this would probably be a source of irritation to me as well.
I dont mind people wanting to have a conversation, but as you said, he is being invasive. There is such a thing as asking before doing.
I usually lock my screen porch door and have curtains on the windows leading out to the porch, so anyone knocking has to wait for someone to answer and cant be gawking in.

 

[sourland]

Something sounds a bit off about this guy. My inclination would be to severely limit interactions with him. Locks on the coop and pen are a great idea. Perfect excuse would be that "Someone has been stealing chickens in the neighborhood."

 

[TinaK]

we have a 92 year old neighbour... her three adult sons come and visit her VERY often.. They usually come over once each day. So she would have at least 3 visitors a day...

lovely people... but sticky beaks! I too am very sensitive and private about my home. I don't like to know that people have been stalking around my yard when Im not home!! or peering in my windows... I also don't liked to be asked what I'm doing every time I bump into them. A simple 'hello' would suffice!!

One of the son is slightly 'kooky'.. sounds somewhat like the man you described..

e.g. last week he was busy holding up traffic because he was 'mowing' the road... yes mowing.. not just going from one side to the other or something sensible......

I've had to start locking my front gate to keep them out of my yard... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY HAVE BEEN DOING!! (but they have been spotted in there by others!)

strange but harmless (so far)........

sourland's suggestion is perfect for ongoing management of the issue.

 

[AhBee01]

He might just be a bit weird, and not mean any harm! He just might be overly friendly and might just lack some real social skills!
I would just say your friend thought it would be a good lesson for her children, so you let her do it! You may need him in a pinch someday! At least he is friendly and not a total creep!

 

[PotterWatch]

Quote:
He certainly does lack some social skills. I don't mind him for the most part, but I really don't like him being on my property uninvited.

ETA: I think I am wary of him mostly because he is unpredictable. Shortly after we first moved in (though my husband grew up in this house and has known the guy his whole life), we had a big problem with stray cats using our yard as a toilet. We got a cat trap and started trapping cats. Our neighbor knew about it and just asked that if we caught one we thought might be his to please let him come get it. One night he came knocking on our door saying that we had trapped his cat and injured it in the process and he wanted us to pay its vet bill. We definitely did NOT trap his cat and we certainly wouldn't have just let it go injured if we had. We of course told him we hadn't trapped it and he asked me to come look at his cat to verify it wasn't one we had caught (though since the shelter came and picked up all the ones we did catch, I don't know how it could have been his even in his mind). I went and looked and immediately was able to say we hadn't caught that particular cat. He, of course, didn't believe me and started going off on me to my husband who promptly told him to watch his mouth. He didn't speak to us for a month or so after that. Another time he got mad because our dogs were chasing his cat. In our backyard

. So, it's stuff like that that makes me say I really would rather he not be on my property uninvited. Lord help me if he ended up getting hurt or something, he'd probably go after us for something even if he was there without permission.

 

[Mattemma]

I would recommend for the windows that sticky film you can cut to fit.I got some that is cloudy,and you can not see through.I want to get another that you can see through,but from the outside it looks like a mirror.That one would be good for you. I keep a lock on our gate and always keep windows and doors locked. Hopefully being politely *cold* to this person will lessen their contact with you.