Nice Girl syndrome... so true

[punk-a-doodle]

Aye, I just don't think it is that simple though Red. It can be so ingrained it isn't a choice, more of learned helplessness. It's of course never right to me to bring kids into any sort of truly destructive family environment, but without looking at all the actual causes, we never come up with solutions that work.

 

[punk-a-doodle]

Forgot to add that sometimes the children and marriage were also not a choice. :\\

 

[Junkmanme]

Quote:
For the most part, I think that we IMPROVE our World by minding our own business and correctly living our own lives. Often where we get into TROUBLE is poking our noses into someone else's business with the excuse that we are "saving-the-World".

It's usually NONSENSE and often is the true root of the problem.

-Junkmanme-

 

[Junkmanme]

Quote:
****Inappropriate adult comment removed by Staff****

 

[KristyHall]

Quote:
ok if i wish to be rude

saying a woman instantly thinks negatively if you asked where she got her hair done is "HOGWASH" as you put it.

that is a "FANTASY" women are no more shallow than men. if someone asked me i would tell them.

 

[KristyHall]

Quote:
For the most part, I think that we IMPROVE our World by minding our own business and correctly living our own lives. Often where we get into TROUBLE is poking our noses into someone else's business with the excuse that we are "saving-the-World".

It's usually NONSENSE and often is the true root of the problem.

-Junkmanme-

since you are responding to a post a bout domestic violence... are you really suggesting ignore domestic violence is better because we are minding our own business? really?

 

[KristyHall]

Quote:
while I see what you are saying, sometimes abuse starts out subtle then builds, the abused becomes isolated an afraid and by the time he or she realizes something is bad it is very difficult to leave.

once the person realizes the situation most of them do eventually leave (at least now a days. it use to be very few to no resources were available to abuse victims)

leaving an abuser is often the most dangerous time and this is when many of the victims who will be killed are killed because the abuser is desperate to re-assert control over the victim.

 

[chickened]

Not to muddy the water but domestic violence in most cases is stopped by leaving and in todays enviroment between the cops and shelters there is really no excuse if you really want to leave that abuse they both are eager to help. I just read the above post and I still think one can leave if they really want to most often is the case the abused still wants or think it will end, it usually doesn't they just for what ever reason are attracted to those kind of men... tragic.
Quote:
For the most part, I think that we IMPROVE our World by minding our own business and correctly living our own lives. Often where we get into TROUBLE is poking our noses into someone else's business with the excuse that we are "saving-the-World".

It's usually NONSENSE and often is the true root of the problem.

-Junkmanme-

since you are responding to a post a bout domestic violence... are you really suggesting ignore domestic violence is better because we are minding our own business? really?

 

[WickedNerd]

Quote:
while I see what you are saying, sometimes abuse starts out subtle then builds, the abused becomes isolated an afraid and by the time he or she realizes something is bad it is very difficult to leave.

once the person realizes the situation most of them do eventually leave (at least now a days. it use to be very few to no resources were available to abuse victims)

leaving an abuser is often the most dangerous time and this is when many of the victims who will be killed are killed because the abuser is desperate to re-assert control over the victim.

What's more, society doesn't make it easy for a woman to leave a situation like that. Most religions mark the man a the head of the home and that you have to honor what he says and does. So there's that. FYI: I'm not blaming religion for DV, I'm just saying that this can play a factor. Then there's such a stigma on divorce and on being a single parent, even if it is happening more and more everyday.

Most of these women (and even men) have been psychologically beaten down to where they think that this is what they deserve. They can do no better. They will ultimately fail and mess up their children even more if they leave. That's what the abusers program them to believe.

It is statistically proven that it takes a person an average of 5 to 7 attempts to leave a domestic violence relationship. It ISN'T because he/she likes it. It ISN'T because he/she deserves it. It's for many, many reasons...some of the ones I've described and then many others. We as a society should make it easier and reach out to these people who are suffering and let them know that NO ONE deserves that.

 

[WickedNerd]

Quote:
since you are responding to a post a bout domestic violence... are you really suggesting ignore domestic violence is better because we are minding our own business? really?


Dude, I really wish you could spend a day at my job and tell me that...If that were true then my life would be so much easier and I'd sleep better at night.

There are abusers who would rather go to jail than let their partner leave a relationship. Then you have some police officers that would rather blame the victim for everything that's going on and not enforce court documents saying that the abuser can't be in contact with her.

It's not that simple. It really, really isn't. If it was I wouldn't have had to attend a funeral in March for a former client who's abuser finally caught up with her. She had a protection order. She was only outside of shelter because she was visiting family at a birthday party. Don't tell me it's that simple...please. It's an insult to her memory and the survivors I work with.